#took every bone in my body not 2 make her pink

[thisisntmyrightera]

Together - CHO HYUN-JU x Fem Reader Part 4

Summary: Reader is scammed and abandoned by her boyfriend, leaving her alone in South Korea to her fate, so in desperate search of a solution to return to her home country she decides to join the squid games to get money, within the game she meets a couple of people who become her friends and could possibly be something more.

Warning: Violence, homophobia mention of attempted rape and sexist language

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My eyes closed as I felt a push that made me fall and when the counter stopped, my hands could only go to my face in fear, no shot hit me and a hand touched my shoulder making me jump scared.

Calm down, are you safe - Dae-Ho spoke in a low voice making my hands go down slowly looking around - Did I hurt you? Sorry if I pushed you too hard

I'm fine - I looked at him barely with agitated breathing while Jung-Bae looked at me worried - thanks

You don't have to thank me, why did they leave you outside? I thought they were your friends - Dae-Ho helped me up pretending to be upset

They didn't kick me out, I gave my place to Geum-Ja, she deserved that place more than me - I looked at him sighing annoyed feeling the intention of his comments

You are very brave girl, I couldn't have done it - Jung-Bae looked at me touching his chest in a sign of concern - the good thing is that we were able to find you in time and you are here

As soon as I nodded I approached the small gap in the door, it was my chance to do it because I knew that Hyun-Ju would never let me do it if I was with her.

Standing on my toes to reach the little open space in the door, I could see how they picked up the bodies, one by one putting them in black boxes decorated with pink bows and they took them away piled up without caring.

The sound of the door ringing was my signal to run out of there, looking around at unfamiliar faces while hearing murmurs and laughter from those who were crazy, I walked through the people not caring if I pushed anyone until in the distance I could see Yong-Sik and Geum-Ja hugging each other, behind them Hyun-Ju standing looking at the floor while wiping her cheeks with the sleeves of her sweater.

HYUN-JU - I screamed with all the air left in my lungs making everyone turn their heads towards me as I ran splashing blood with my feet from every bloody puddle I crossed - Hyun-Ju!!

Her eyes widened, her legs buckled as she ran and she could barely hold herself up when I collided with her in a hug and her arms surrounded my body so tightly that it made my bones ache

Are you okay? Did they hurt you? - her hands took my face looking at me while I trembled - did they do something to you?

No, no I…I'm fine - I smiled at her taking her hand looking at her dark eyes

Don't do that again, you heard me? Never do something as stupid as that again, they could have killed you, I told you to stay by my side and I want you to always be there, understood? - her chest rose and fell breathing heavily while her lips trembled and her eyes mixed between fear and anger stared at me without letting go of my face

I understood..- I gave her a slight smile nodding

My little one…are you okay - Geum-Ja ran slowly hugging me tightly - you shouldn't have done that for an old woman like me, they could have hurt you

That doesn't matter, we're fine okay?..- I smiled taking her hand looking at the others- come on…we have to go to the platform

This time we walked carefully, as if slipping on the blood was the worst thing that could happen to us and ruined our green outfit.

This time don't separate from me, understood? - Hyun-Ju took my hand again standing next to me, this time interlacing her fingers with mine while I just nodded slowly looking at our hands nervously

The children's song started once again, the platform spun and I, like everyone else, looked around looking for the closest door to run to as soon as the game stopped

''2'' the speaker spoke making everyone run

Run, run! - Hyun-Ju pulled my arm almost tearing it off my body as she ran with giant steps compared to mine, pushing anyone in front of us until she reached a green door that she opened with such force that it seemed to rip it off the hinges and then made us enter leaning her back against the door to prevent anyone from opening it - we did it…

I just nodded tiredly, taking a breath as I leaned on my knees trying not to faint

Y/N..who helped you last round? - she looked at me curiously after a couple of minutes in complete silence

Dae-Ho and… Jung-Bae - I looked at her sitting on the floor - the truth is I still don't know how they did it, I just felt a push and when I opened my eyes I was inside

I'm sure it was Dae-Ho… - she looked at me smiling slightly and then looked at the floor and when she heard the door lock and the shots she quickly walked away sitting next to me hugging her knees

Do you forgive me for… leaving the room?.. - I looked at her timidly getting closer trying to see her face between the strands of her hair

I'm not upset… it's just that… I got scared okay? One second you were by my side and the next you ran away without saying anything…

I did it for Geum-Ja I…

I know you did it for her and that's very brave but how was I supposed to stay here without you? -she looked at me again with her eyes annoyed but full of something that I didn't want to confuse with love- if they killed you how was I supposed to stay in this damn place if they took away the only thing I have?

The.. only thing you have?..- I looked at her curiously while she lowered her head again hiding her face between locks of hair

Nothing… I didn't say anything…

Yes you said it.. what do you mean by that Hyun-Ju?.. what do you mean by…

that you are the only reason why my heart has found meaning to keep living… that I'm not supposed to feel this way because I know that you will never feel the same for me but I do and I feel selfish for that do you understand? - her tears ran slowly down her cheeks with her lip trembling

You're even more selfish by keeping those feelings to yourself…because then…I would have never known that you feel the same way I feel about you

No…don't say that just because I'm crying - she give a small laugh wiping her tears

Then stop crying and say it again…I like you Hyun-Ju and if that's wrong I think it's worse that we're doing this for money…don't you think? - I smiled at her trying to break the tension making her laugh again while wiping her face looking at me embarrassed with her cheeks slightly flushed

Me too…I like you…- she smile shaking her head looking at the floor- it's very stupid no? I went through all this transition to end up falling in love with a girl..

It's not stupid… if you feel that being a woman is what you are, I don't see anything wrong with you being happy, anyway we won't be the first girls to form a nice couple - I smiled at her taking her hand leaning on her arm closing my eyes feeling peace among so much chaos

When we go out, think twice before making the decision to go home, okay? - her cheek rested on my head sighing calmly

Only if you take me to see Thailand…

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So…if you're a girl…and she's a girl…you're…

Mom!…Shut up already - Yong-Sik looked at her sadly while Hyun-Ju and I laughed looking at the confused woman - that's not a question, it's disrespectful

It's just a question, you spoiled brat, don't you dare tell me to shut up, I'm your mother - Geum-Ja looked at him angrily hitting his arm making him fall on the mattress of his bed

We just like each other - I smiled at her crossing my legs on the mattress sitting next to Hyun-Ju

Yes but…how do you like her? She's not a woman yet, but she's not a man either…it's like in between, you know…what part of Hyun-Ju do you like? -The curious woman looked at me trying to figure out my head making me smile

Well…

Y/N..-Dae-Ho's voice made us look towards the stairs as he approached us rubbing his hands - Hello..everyone - the boy smiled embarrassed - I just came to ask if you were okay, it's just that after the last round I couldn't find you anymore..and I was curious..

I'm fine..thanks - I smiled barely, being kind for the act of having helped me

Well, I'm glad -he smiled looking at the floor without stopping rubbing his hands- if you're still a little hungry, we have some Gimbap if you want to come

She's fine - Hyun-Ju raised her voice making both of them look into each other's eyes

Yes, go back to your bed son, she's fine Hyun-Ju is taking good care of her girl -Geum-Ja smiled innocently making Dae-Ho clench his jaw nodding looking Hyun-Ju in the eyes before turning around and going back to his team

Mom…you don't know how to keep your mouth shut again - Yong-Sik sighed covering his face sighing annoyed

It wasn't long before we heard screams and commotion coming from the bathroom and after a while a song would play on the speakers followed by a voice

''These are the eliminated players, player 230, player 268, player 299, player 331 and player 401 eliminated''

What happened? - Geum-Ja looked at us without understanding as did everyone around who looked at each other

The bathroom doors opened, two soldiers entered followed by players covered in blood, some walking with difficulty, Nam-Gyu making a fuss while arguing between both teams making us all get out of our beds to do a count again

Hyun-Ju..-I looked at her with fear squeezing her arm- I don't have a good feeling

Me neither..but don't worry nothing bad is going to happen to you - she looked at me giving me a fake smile while we stood in the crowd of team X

Gi-Hun counted, over and over again making sure not to lose any player, in the end we had only lost 2 people and we were 1 ahead of team O and while he told us things about the previous game he also came up with a plan.

He talked about making a plan, defending ourselves because he knew that those from the other team would attack us and to get out unharmed we would have to hide under the beds, then when most of them were dead we would attack the soldiers taking their weapons and we would look for a way out.

His plan didn't make me feel more than that it was a suicide mission, how was it possible that we would overcome trained soldiers with loaded weapons, my mind only overthought and created catastrophic scenarios where we would all end up dead

Are you okay? - Hyun-Ju whispered in my ear bringing me out of the trance just making me nod - are you sure?

I don't think it's a good idea - I looked at her whispering without interrupting Gi-Hun and after a while and while the speaker announced that in 10 minutes the lights would go out each one decided to go to their bed, this time, we both decided to go to Hyun-Ju's bed that was lower than mine to make it easier for us to hide when the lights went out

Believe me, we'll be fine - She whispered taking my hand - you don't have to do anything, we'll just hide and when the guards come in I'll go with them for the weapons

Hyun-Ju… I don't need you to always protect me, just because I'm a woman you and them shouldn't take care of me from everything

They may do it because you're a woman, but I do it because you're my woman, right? - She looked at me making me feel those fireworks inside me again, it was the least appropriate moment and everything in my head sounded a thousand times more exaggerated than normal making me want to throw myself off the highest bed into the void

I… I have to confess something to you - I looked at her nervously sighing deeply - I… I grew up with two brothers, one of them is a soldier and they taught me how to shoot, maybe it's not the same compared to your experience but… if you need someone else I'll join you okay?

No… I won't let you go fight against soldiers, are you crazy? - She frowned again, a sign that she was getting upset

We went in together and we'll come out together, right? You said that I would never leave your side…

''Players, the lights will go out in 10..9..8..7..6…''

Hyun-Ju..-i sighed in fear, clenching her hand under the covers - If we don't survive tonight…

Stay calm, I promise… I… - it was now or never, in 5 seconds the lights would go out and if we were attacked there was the same chance of surviving or dying, the same chance of leaving together or never seeing her again, my head was spinning overthinking again trying to convince myself that I shouldn't be afraid, I wasn't afraid when I left that room to be shot, I shouldn't be afraid now.

My trembling hands took her face and as I closed my eyes my lips kissed hers leaving us both frozen

''5..4..3..2..1…''

I love you - I whispered barely separating from her without being able to look at her face because of the darkness around us

And I love you…let's go…

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We have an impostor…guess who?

Today i just write a little, my hands still hurting by the accident i have but i can't resist anymore, Thanks for reading, I'll be back soon!

Tag List!

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[ohmydais]

Hi guys did you know that the new cool, hip and trendy thing is to make a raggedy sona? It’s true Hatsune Miku told me herself

[klaprisun]

One Sunny Day

(Stardew Valley)(Haley x Female Farmer)

Chapter 41

🌻~THE NEXT SUMMER ~🌻

Eventually, all of the sunflowers had perished by the end of fall last year. I told Haley that just means we can look forward to replanting them this summer. She really took me up on that because just two weeks ago we had planted them all once again.

The sunflowers aren't quite as tall yet this season, but by fall they will be towering over our heads. They are currently still tall enough to make the little bench area secluded from the rest of the world, just the way Haley likes it.

This morning though, is anything but sunny. It's raining total buckets outside today which limits the things I can do today. But then I got an idea.

Running to the telephone in my room, I dial Haley's number.

"Darling! Hi!" her voice sings through the phone.

"Meet me in the sunflower field in an hour," is all I tell her.

"In this weather? Are you insane?" She questions me.

"Trust me," I breathe out, heart pounding in my chest.

"Hm. Okay then," she huffs.

"Make sure to wear something you consider nice. You'll thank me later." Without another word from her, I hung up the phone.

I quickly throw on my signature overalls, work boots and cowboy hat. I have on a light pink t-shirt underneath my overalls as an attempt to look nice. I tie my hair back to my favorite half up half down style. My hair has been making its way back to its original length now. At this point it just passed my shoulders in length.

Without an umbrella or any rain protection, I set out into the nasty weather without a second thought. I know what I am going to do.

Haley and I have been going strong since we established our feelings for one another. All of our previous fighting and sass was all due to us being head over heels with one another at first sight. Who would've guessed? The perfect, pretty, pristine, boy obsessed girl was really into the dingy, dirty, farm girl the whole time. The way the world works goes completely over my head. If you were to tell me I'd be in this position 2 years ago, I would've never believed you. I'm sure Haley would feel the same way. I am so obsessed with her and don't think I'll ever be able to live my life normally if she wasn't with me. Which is why I am going to do this.

"Ahhh Danny. I knew you'd be coming soon enough. I could feel it in the damp, musty, rainy air." The way this guy spoke was absolutely creeping me out. I had chills going down my body, causing my arms to have goosebumps.

"Five thousand coins please," he says before I can even say anything. Cringing over how expensive that is, I reach into my backpack and rifle around until I pull out five thousand coins.

"Wonderful. Here you go..." He holds his hand out to me, dropping something into the palm of my hand.

"Thank you...Old Mariner?" I say questioningly. Unsure if he likes to be addressed as that.

I take a minute to admire the misty ocean water ahead of us. The rain blocks any view of the far away horizon. The rough waters sway and crash about, threatening anyone who dares to enter them in these conditions. It is almost an eerie sight to see when looking out into the rainy abyss of the ocean. I see why this creepy Old Mariner likes to show up when it rains. Really adds to this guy's dumb performance.

I turn to face the Old Mariner one more time before heading out. Except he wasn't there. Confused, I whip my head in every direction looking for him. How did he get so far from the short amount of time I didn't face him? And where does he even go?

Still chilled to the bone over this unnerving experience, I turn on my heels and scurry away from the beach. After all, I have a pretty lady waiting for me back at the farm.

Before entering the sunflower field to wait for Haley, I had tossed my backpack inside so as to not kill the mood with it on. It's not really the most romantic article of clothing in the world, and I'm already pushing it with what I have on now. I also cleaned myself up quickly so I wasn't all muddy and damp. I will end up getting damp from the rain all over again once I go back out to meet Haley, but it won't be as bad. Knowing her, she will show up with an umbrella so she doesn't get her outfit all wet and gross. I don't know what she will do about her shoes though.

I push my way through the thick stems of the sunflower field so that I'm ready when Haley arrives. If she is right on time, I won't have to wait much longer. I tried to time it so that I'm not waiting outside for too long.

To my amusement, I begin to see a cute, little, blue umbrella bobbing its way over the top of all the sunflowers. Haley held it higher up so that it wouldn't get caught in all the leaves and stems of the sunflowers most likely.

"I'm here!" she joyfully bounces into the clearing of the field where I wait. My arms are twisted behind my back nervously, carefully hiding my hands as well.

"Hi here. I thought you were Haley?" I tease, causing her to nudge my shoulder playfully.

"Why did you ask me to come here? It better be worth it. I'm ruining my good shoes for this," she rolls her eyes but cracks a big smile knowing that whatever I asked her here for will be worth it.

"I think you look gorgeous," I mentioned. She really does look so pretty. She is wearing a baby blue sundress with a small pink bow in the middle of the chest area. She has pink pumps on that match the small bow as well. It looks like she was extra careful with those shoes on the way here because they are barely dirty. Her golden hair is, as always, draped over her shoulders, cascading in a way that doesn't cover her beautiful face.

"Emily helped me do my nails this morning for some reason. I didn't think they were that wrecked yet, but she insisted on redoing them when I mentioned where I was going today."

Hearing Haley say that causes me to sweat and grit my teeth. Does Haley know? How did Emily know? I didn't tell anyone, I just came up with the idea today! I mean I was thinking about it since the new year, but I had never told anyone.

"Emily did a wonderful job," I had taken her hand in mine, looking over her blue ombre nails.

"Now are you going to tell me why you asked me here!" she gleefully exclaims, clearly on her toes about whatever may happen.

"Ahem..." I clear my throat, suddenly feeling much more nervous and choked up. It's really happening. "Haley... I had woken up today on this gloomy, gloomy day with a thought in my head I just couldn't shake. On gloomy days like this, I heard there is a visitor that appears on the island that you may have heard of. Now when I saw the rain, something clicked in my head, so I went to pay that guy a visit. Haley, I don't want to spend any more gloomy, rainy days waking up alone. I don't want to spend ANY day waking up alone anymore. I want you by my side every second of every day. You are my reason for getting up in the morning and making this farm the way it is. You give me the motivation to keep this farm up and running and you give me a reason to stay here instead of going back to the city. If I hadn't met you, I would've chickened out and ran back to the city to live a life I definitely didn't want. The forces of the universe clearly wanted me to come here for a reason, and that reason was you. I love you Haley."

As I blurted out my on-the-spot speech, Haley's eyes had widened to the size of saucers once she realized what was happening. Her hand slowly makes its way up to cover her mouth in shock.

"Um..." I awkwardly try to bend down on one knee, but realize that may not be part of the tradition so I stand back up. Then I realize that is whatever I want for this moment, so then I lower myself back down to one knee. Haley begins to giggle over my uncertainty. I take my hands out from behind my back and present them in front of Haley, holding the Mermaid's Pendant. One hand holds the chain, while the other one has the pendant part displayed on the palm.

"My pretty lady. My beautiful, beautiful Haley... will you marry me?" My words ring out into the air for a moment. Neither of us grasping that this is really happening.

Haley nearly drops her umbrella as she starts jumping with joy. She squeals excitedly a few times before collapsing into me, bawling her eyes out. I catch her just before her knees touch the ground so she doesn't fall straight into the muddy grass. The rest of her body falls more into my chest.

"Yes! A thousand times yes! I love you too, Danny," she sobs, muffled by my chest. I move her hair back while she sobs away into me so I can clip the Mermaid Pendant around her neck. I gently lay my arms around her shoulders after to reciprocate her hug.

The sunflowers around us dance in the warm, summer breeze. It makes them look like they are cheering for us. I pull Haley tighter to me and give her a tight squeeze. I'm having a full celebration with plenty of cheering in my head.

"We have to go tell everyone! We have to tell Emily so she can start making our wedding outfits! Hopefully she can do it all in three days but-" Haley starts.

"THREE DAYS? THE WEDDING IS IN THREE DAYS?" I shout, startled about the wedding date being so soon.

"We get married quickly here in Pelican Town," she sheepishly smiles, a blush spreading across her face. "Is it too soon? Do you want to wait?"

"I'd marry you right now if I could. Three days is perfectly okay with me," I reassure her.

🌻 🌻 🌻

Those three days couldn't have gone by any slower. The two of us were raring to get married the second we got engaged. We could hardly keep our hands off each other either. We had started construction on my farmhouse to give her an area of her own for when she moves in, but in the process of building and decorating we had a few... celebration breaks. Like I said, we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

When the whole town found out we were engaged, they all started planning the wedding, Pelican Town style. Apparently it gets set up in the middle of town square like a lot of the other events they put on. They keep all of the outdated ceremony decorations stored away for every single wedding that is held here. It's hard to believe that Haley is okay with a wedding like this. She did add her own touches to it all though, but everything else she was happy with.

When we told Emily, she immediately started planning our outfits right away. She dragged us into her sewing room and started measurements. The two of them couldn't stop laughing at how much I didn't belong there with all the frilly clothes surrounding me. Emily was even going to put me in a dress for the wedding until I gave her a very very long, hard stare. When has she seen me in a dress? What made her think I'd want a dress? My dress denial made them laugh even harder. Emily, of course, respected my wishes and started designing me a suit instead. At least that's what I THOUGHT it was going to be.

When I showed up to get dressed for the wedding today, she pulled out the most outrageous outfit I've ever seen. Not in a bad way though, but in a way that I had never seen anything like it.

"White overalls? Are you kidding me?" I excitedly started laughing over how funny Emily is, taking them by the hanger from her hands.

"Haley knew you'd like it. She suggested it," Emily chuckles.

"Really? Haley suggested this? That girl surprises me more and more each day. Where is she anyway?"

"She went over to Evelyn's house to get ready. I'm going over as soon as you are done getting ready here. I figured you wouldn't take too long and she takes forever so it works out great." Emily pulls out a fancy white shirt to go under my white overalls. She also goes over to a shelf and grabs a pink flower.

"Since you aren't in a suit, you can put this flower in the front pocket of the overalls." Emily hands over the rest of my outfit and starts walking away to let me get ready.

"Thank you so much Emily. This is all so great. You've been a great friend and the best sister to Haley. We wouldn't be here without you," I call over to her before she walks out of the sewing room to her own room.

"Thank you, Danny. You make her so happy. You bring out a side of Haley we had never seen until you showed up. I can't thank you enough for being patient with her and letting her find her true self. I knew it was in there somewhere!" she laughs as she walks away.

Once I was all dressed in my wedding attire, Emily came right back to help straighten everything up and made sure it fits okay. She helped do my hair up nicely in the same way I always have it, but this time it looks better than when I do it. She smoothed back my hair to tie the top part into a ponytail, and brushed the hairs underneath so that they lay nicely down my back. She didn't let me wear my hat unfortunately as it would "ruin it". She said I could have it back after the ceremony. Haley had told Emily that she wants to be able to see my face in pictures. I guess I got away with wearing overalls to my wedding so I should be thankful for that.

I mosey my way out to the wedding area after getting dressed. That's where I see everyone else continuing to set up the last minute things for the big day. The one thing that catches my eye is that there are no chairs.

"Y'all don't sit or anything?" I asked the person closest to me which was Alex. He was in the midst of carrying a big flower pot.

"It's crazy isn't it? I always wondered that too," he replies. I watch as he looks me up and down quickly. "You look hot. Haley is gonna drool when she sees you."

"Why thank you. Sorry again for stealing your girl," I jokingly say.

"Oh please. You are everything I could never be. For one, a girl and two, into girls. I can't believe I never came out sooner. It would've saved Haley the headache I gave her. I feel terrible about everything I put her through and I hope she can forgive me one day. You really saved her from me. I'm glad you moved here and she took a liking to you. Anyways, congratulations on your big day. You two deserve it." He gives me a genuine smile and continues walking to wherever the big flower pot goes.

I wanted to help with all the rest of the setting up, but everyone kept saying no. All I could do was stand helplessly, watching everyone carrying decorations around. Leah and Elliot came over to chat with me and keep me busy too.

"See Leah. What did I tell you? They were meant to get married!" Elliot goofs.

"And I was the one who told them to go at their own pace. You wanted them to get married on the spot you wacko!" Leah responds to Elliot.

"Regardless, they made it this far and I see a bright future between the two of them. Lots of sex and lots of happiness. Cheers to that." That gets him a smack on the arm from Leah. I could see the laugh playing on her lips that she is trying so hard to hold in.

"I couldn't have asked for better friends when moving here. You guys have been such a help to me and made me feel comfortable moving in here. You accepted me as part of the town and I will forever be grateful," I sappily pour my heart out to them.

"We actually never accepted you, you just made that up in your head. I don't know where you got that from," Leah smirks and looks at Elliot. "Isn't that right Elliot?"

"Pfff yeah. We never liked you one bit. You are such a burden to us and should've never moved here. My Yoba, Danny." Elliot holds his palm out to me and turns his head away in disgust.

"Get in here you two," I take both of them into my arms and give them a big squeeze. They both return the hug by squeezing me back.

"It's been so great getting to know you Danny. Thank you for being our friend and putting up with us," Elliot says.

"You've been a lot of fun to tease and have fun with. You sure have a lot of patience," Leah adds. "I'm glad we met you."

"Looks like it's time!" Elliot excitedly informs me. He points at Mayor Lewis who is trying to wave me over to stand under the flower arch. Everyone else is standing in the audience, waiting for the big event to begin. I see Evelyn and Emily have weaved their way into the crowd which means Haley is fully ready and waiting.

Taking a deep breath, I take my place underneath the gorgeous archway decorated with pale pink flowers. I watch as every head in the crowd turns to look down the aisle. Jas and Vincent make their way towards me up the aisle, tossing flower petals as they go. I can't help but smile at how cute they are.

A moment later, everyone gasps. Haley appears at the end of the aisle staring back at me. She looks absolutely stunning. Her dress looks as if it came out of a fairytale. It has a big poofy skirt trimmed with the same light pink flowers as the one in my front pocket. The bodice hugs her body tightly, but loose enough to let her breathe comfortably. The straps of the dress are an off the shoulder design made out of tulle. Her hair was left down, but some front pieces were all tucked and braided to the back of her head with a few strands left out to frame her face. In her hands was the same style of bouquet I gave her when I wanted to show her I was romantically interested. Down to the same color ribbon I had tied around the stems.

My brain had gone completely blank. I was absolutely speechless and bursting with excitement. She slowly glides down the aisle, stirring up some flower petals from the ground as she moves. She looks absolutely magical.

She takes her stand next to me under the arch. The two of us looking into each other's eyes, forgetting everyone else exists. In the background, I hear Mayor Lewis begin speaking.

"When Danny first arrived in Pelican Town, no one knew if she'd fit in with our community... But from this day forward, Danny is going to be as much a part of this town as any of us!" The town folk start cheering at Lewis's declaration. Haley and I break our gaze as soon as we hear the last of his speech. "You may kiss!"

Without another thought, I sweep Haley into my arms like the world is ending and she is my only source of life. Her soft, glossed lips connect with mine instantly. The audience continues to cheer over our passionate, loving kiss. I would've kissed her longer if we weren't right in front of everyone, but eventually we broke apart. I take her hand in mine as we face the crowd. The wind picks up for a minute and it causes all of the flower petals to take to the air. I twirl Haley around to face me again and bring her back for another heart melting kiss.

"I get to be a farmer now, too!" she squeals, squeezing my hands in hers.

"And you are going to be the best wife anyone could ever ask for," I whisper as I tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear, daydreaming over the beautiful future we are going to have.

[mywebfoot]

In Every Winter Night, Part 2 (Marry My Husband Fanfic)

Author's note: Part 1 is here.

--

Ji Hyuk

The doors of the office lift opened, and Ji Won’s bright eyes met his. It gave him a jolt. Energy zipped along his limbs and he wanted to dance, to shout you’re here, you’re here and helicopter his arms wildly. He contented himself with a smile, quickly smothered. This morning, on the drive to town they had talked about it, and they had agreed to keep their newfound relationship quiet from their colleagues. He was, after all, her indirect boss and she was, after all, fresh from a very public break up. All very logical. The problem was, he hadn’t anticipated how difficult it would be to stay sane when she was near. 

She entered the lift, walking straight to him, but turning around at the last second as if conscientiously making room in the lift for others. The back of her pink nubbly suit skirt brushed against his hands that were holding his briefcase in front of him. In his mind, he turned his hand outwards and cupped a pretty handful of perky Ji Won butt. No, no, no.

He took a deep breath. That was also a mistake. He’d inhaled a large lungful of Ji Won’s intoxicating scent and now he couldn’t breathe AND he was turned on in a lift full of colleagues. 

Ji Hyuk wanted to laugh at himself. He bit it back, death-gripped his briefcase, and tried to take very shallow breaths for the long ride up, with multiple stops to let people off. He’d consider it a win if he didn’t pass out before reaching their floor. 

—

Morning emails were done, and Ji Hyuk was quite proud of himself for actually doing work. He leaned back in his seat, and his mind went right back to the promise he made Ji Won last night. 

Date nights. He’d promised her date nights, and a slow exploration of their physical relationship. To give her the security of clear boundaries and no obligation to continue beyond her comfort zone, he’d proposed one body part per date. This week they had agreed on shoulders, nothing more. 

He thought back to the skin-tight black shirt she’d worn to dump her sleazebag ex. How it had shown off her nape and the delicate bone structure across her shoulders. How the boat cut across the shoulders meant no bra straps, and suggested the wild possibility of no bra. The two straps crossing the front did not conceal anything, but only made him yearn for a pair of scissors and a dark room. Hui Yeon had been right, her outfit had been pure punishment. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as heat pooled in his groin and a deep throb reminded him that his office was not an appropriate place to have hot daydreams about his woman. 

Speaking of… he glanced up and caught her eyes. Some of what he was thinking might have leapt across the rows of busy cubicles between them, for her eyes widened and she quickly ducked back down. 

The corner of his lips tilted up as a mischievous thought occured to him. Ji Hyuk pulled up the office messaging app. He briefly considered the scandal if these messages were read, since it was strictly an office communication tool. But he brushed that aside. He knew a guy in HR who was privy to their relationship anyway. 

“What are we doing this weekend?” He kept his eyes on the computer, and the three bouncing dots that indicated she was typing. 

“Us? Whatever you want to do, Director-nim.”

Director-nim. He didn’t like that, but he did like the “us” bit. Us. There’s an Us. 

“Is there something you’ve wanted to do?”

“Ice skating,” came the immediate reply. 

Ji Hyuk frowned. He didn’t care about the activity, as long as it was with her, but ice skating meant being cold, and being cold meant thick clothing, and thick clothing meant difficult access to her shoulders. 

He glanced up again, speculatively. Ji Won was still looking down at her screen, so he took the moment to imagine her bundled up in winter clothes. Then he made a plan to unwrap her like his favourite ice cream popsicle. Pop, slide, pull, lick. He liked plans. He liked this plan. 

“Let’s go,” he typed. 

—

Ji Won

She knew she’d have fun on a date with Ji Hyuk, but she didn’t know how much fun. They had certainly hung out together before, as friends, but this was a date and it was so much better. Holding mitten-covered hands while sliding across the ice. The last time she’d had this much joy was in a winter skating rink back in Busan, a pre-schooler holding on to her father’s hands while she wobbled and slid along. 

Ji Won felt the hot sting of tears but she shook her head against it. No more crying. Ji Hyuk was here, and in a way that meant Appa was here too, loving her and making her safe and secure. 

Every time she slipped Ji Hyuk was there, grabbing her and hauling her right back up. Each time, instead of being taken down a peg, her confidence grew, because she could feel Ji Hyuk’s hands lingering where they touched her. An extra second around her shoulders, a soft brush across her back, a firm grip on the top her hips. Each touch left a drop of heat, and each drop of heat was slipping down and collecting wet warmth between her legs. 

He liked her he’d said. She enjoyed how direct he was, and each time he touched her she felt more desirable, more womanly and much more seductive. No one could fault her for tripping more often than was strictly necessary, especially if it meant that she could take another sip of the long, cool drink that was Yu Ji Hyuk, right? 

After an hour or so, he missed catching her and she properly fell on her butt. Ow, that hurt. 

“That’s it, I’m done!” she laughed up at him as he circled around to her. He chuckled at her splayed, jean-clad legs, and her rosy face. He stretched out a hand and pulled her up easily. As she got back on her feet, he turned her and grabbed her tight around the waist. He lifted her up so that her booted feet dangled. Laughing hard, she held on tight while he skated them both back to the bench. 

—

Ji Hyuk

They held hands as he walked her back to her apartment, this time without gloves. Their fingers tangled together, in a way that felt familiar and new to him. At her door, she turned to him, tipping up on her toes to give him a gentle kiss. 

All night he’d waited for this moment to fulfill the promise he’d made to her. He returned the kiss, but withdrew shortly after. 

“Let’s go in.” He had to get her to a safe space to do what he wanted, no, needed to do. 

The moment the door closed behind him, he tugged her back into his arms. Kissing, licking, biting, Ji Hyuk feasted on her mouth, gave himself what he'd been waiting for all week. He groaned and ran his hands restlessly up and down her fuzzy winter coat. 

“May I take this off?”

Ji Won nodded, wordlessly. 

Quickly, he slipped it off her shoulders to reveal the dark cowl-necked sweater she had worn to the rink. The sweater nipped in at her waist where she had tucked it into her jeans. He fingers went there first, tightening around her lower rib cage and marvelling at how lean her abs felt. 

“You look like a tiny wisp, but you’re strong,” he whispered.

She nodded, but didn’t say anything. Instead she slid her hands up, up around his neck and pulled him down for more kisses. He let her lead, let her decide where this would go, despite the promise he made to explore her shoulders. 

She nibbled at his lips, burying her fingers into his hair and panting breathily. Then she moved, kissing his cheeks and making her way to his ear.

“Pull the sweater down,” she gasped.

Down? Ji Hyuk thought for a bit. He leaned away and stared at her sweater and he thought of his plan. Oh. His knees buckled at the realization that Ji Won had thought this through. Had helped plan her own seduction and even made it easier for him. 

“Ji Won-shi,” he rasped. He raised both hands to the cowl-neck of her sweater and tugged. In the dim light of the hall, he watched as the soft, stretchy knit gave way and revealed pale skin and a dark shirt on the inside. He tugged further and it slid off one shoulder to reveal a familiar pattern of two lines crossing her neck. 

Ji Hyuk sucked in air and swore. It was that shirt. That one. The one he’d been fantasizing about. 

“I saw you look,” she whispered. 

“I did. I saw this shirt and it drove me nuts that Park Min Hwan saw you in it. I wanted you all to myself. I wanted to do this,” Ji Hyuk growled, and slipped his fingers around the two straps that had haunted his imagination. He snatched them aside and put his mouth on the revealed bare skin. Again and again he kissed her there. Pop,  slide, pull, lick. 

Ji Won trembled, whimpered and panted at the onslaught. First one side, then the other, Ji Hyuk worshipped her bared shoulders. He left hot trails of tiny pink love bites, not denying himself anything, yet carefully observing her signs of arousal. He was ready to stop at the slightest sign of distress, but she was all there, all in, gripping his arms and making tiny sounds in her throat. Still, he remembered the warning their last encounter had given him. 

Slowly, he pulled back, dropping light kisses back up her neck. He ducked his head and let his eyes rove over her, assessing how she was doing. Her eyes remained closed. Her head was tilted back to give him access, and her lips glistened from their earlier kissing. She was so beautiful. Unbelievably passionate and all his. He knew had time and her pleasure was important to him. She was enjoying it, but she had physical and emotional limits that would take patience to heal. For today, this was enough. He wanted to end well.

He cupped her cheeks gently. “Shall we stop here for today?”

Her eyes opened, and she smiled. 

Ji Hyuk felt like he’d won a medal, no, an entire championship. This was it, this. No fear, no shakes. Just undiluted joy at their lovemaking. 

“Then… shall we make a plan for our next winter date?”

--

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

[asnowdriftsomewhere]

Daylight pt5

Cassian x F!reader

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

AN: Sorry, this one took so long. I got stuck for a bit and wasn't sure where to go next. But its here now! And i hope you enjoy it!

Summary: Cassian and Mor have a conversation along the Sidra. You have a decision to make.

Warnings: none? I dont think so at least

Word count: 1985

“I just don't know what to do about Y/N” Cassian sighed, running a hand through his hair as he leaned back in his seat.

“Why do anything?” Mor asked, sitting across from him at their preferred café along the Sidra. She was enjoying a small strawberry cake the owner had given her for free and seemed to beam with every bite. Cassian took her smiles and let them settle against his soul. Warming his bones from the chill that had burrowed so deeply into him that nothing could fight against it.

It had been that way since Y/N had disappeared before his very eyes, two days earlier. Like a ghost or mirage, he'd watched her fade into nothing and had been too stunned to even reach out a hand. Cassian hadn't seen her since, not even catching a hint of her scent in the hall or the dining room. If it wasn't for Rhys checking in with Clotho that morning he wouldn't even know if she was still in Velaris or if she'd somehow convinced Helion to send her to another Court to continue her research.

The whole thing left him feeling unstable in a way he didn't particularly care for. Like he was missing something right in front of him. Something vital. But no matter how he looked at it, he couldn't uncover the problem, the source of his discomfort. He could feel it, a strange amorphous shape just beyond his reach. Like a word on the tip of his tongue.

It'd been driving him mad, this feeling in his gut. Twisting anxiety and bone deep dread that touched every part of him. Keeping him from sleep, roaring in his head no matter how much he trained and centered himself. He knew why he couldn't shake it, what nightmares it triggered within him. But this was different. There was no war, and this was not a battlefield with the lives of good males in the balance. There was just a female he hardly knew and who wanted nothing to do with him. So why his body was reacting like this he couldn't for the life of him understand.

“I just–” he sighed, looking up to the summer sky above, clear and vast, “There's something about her I can't put my finger on. I can't explain it but…” he trailed off, his words truly failing him as he looked back to her.

Mor was watching him curiously. Her deep brown eyes trailing over him as if assessing a wounded friend before flicking up to meet his gaze again. “You're really undone by this female, aren't you?”

“There's something wrong,” his jaw clenched, “I just don't know what.”

She seemed to consider him for a moment. “If you want,” she began slowly, her tongue flicking over the metal of her fork to wipe away the last bits of pink frosting, “I could talk to her. Get to the bottom of whatever’s bothering you.”

He leveled his gaze at her, “Mor–”

“What?” She raised her hands in innocence. “It's just an offer. Besides, I haven't met her yet, and seeing as she's living with you and Az, it's my job to make sure she's not a secret murderer or something.”

He scoffed, “As if Rhys would have let her over the border if he thought something was off. AND she's one of Helion's advisors. How dangerous do you think she can be?”

“Rhys doesn't always make the best decisions when it comes to who we ally with.” Mor’s voice dropped as her gaze fell to the now empty plate in front of her. That familiar discomfort sparked in his chest as he thought about the tension between his brother and the female across from him. Their once easy and loving relationship now strained in a way Cassian didn't know if they could recover from. He wanted to help if he could, but he also knew that this was something for them to figure out. He couldn't fix it, only they could.

“But besides that,” Mor continued, pulling out that smile that he knew sent lesser males to their knees. “You sometimes forget how powerful knowledge can be. If Helion wasn't our ally, his Court would be our most dangerous enemy.”

Cassian sighed, letting the tension in him flow out as she spoke. “You're right, but I still dont think she's a danger to me or Az. Besides, he's still off in the continent doing Cauldron knows what. Rhys doesn't even know when he'll be back.”

She frowned at that, “He's been gone for months.”

“Oh I'm aware,” he shrugged, “Maybe he'll be back for the Summer Solstice. That's in a few weeks.”

Her frown didn't budge, “He better be. Tarquin said they only way he's allowing you back into the Summer Court is if Azriel's there to stick by your side and make sure you don't get into any trouble.”

“It was ONE building!”

Her lips curved into a smirk, “Apparently it was an important building.”

Cassian rolled his eyes, “Hardly.”

Mor's expression turned pointed, “Don’t think I've forgotten what this little talk of ours was originally about. The female that has you all twisted up inside.”

“It'll be fine,” he leaned back in his seat, splaying his wings slightly to warm them in the summer sun. “Y/N isn't a problem.”

She didn't seem convinced, “Regardless, you should invite her to dinner tonight at the River House. I'd like to meet the female that has you utterly baffled. I think we'll be great friends.”

“She spends all her time in the library below the house,” he rolled his eyes again but smiled slightly. “I don't even see her most days.” But even as he said it, he felt something stir in him. The question flickering to life within his soul: Was that really true? You had the power of invisibility– true invisibility that masked your scent, the heat of your body, and the breath of air that moved in your wake. He'd never known anything like it. So who's to say how many times the two of you had been in the same room while he was none the wiser.

Mor only shrugged, “I'll go down and get her–”

“No,” he spoke quickly as he stood from his chair and she quirked an eyebrow at him. “No, I– I'll find her and see if she wants to come to dinner.”

“Okay,” her smile turned feline as she winked, “Make sure she knows it's not a request. The High Lord's Third wants her there.”

He groaned, “Mor–”

“Kidding!” She laughed while also standing up from her seat; that smirk playing across her lips, “Unless–” She winnowed away before he could speak. Her laugh rang around him like the chiming of bells in the wind, and Cassian only sighed before taking off, back to the house.

***

That evening, you made your way back up the various levels of the library towards the house in silence. Everything went quiet around you these days. The Priestesses had long since stopped trying to engage with you and halted their own conversations whenever you came near. Part of you welcomed the change. You didn't need or want their companionship. You didn't need anyone. But another part of you, the smaller shyer part, couldn't help but feel like you were missing out on something when it came to the females. What it was was beyond you, but you felt its absence all the same.

Clotho stopped you before the stairs to the house, a note in her gnarled hands. Frowning, you bowed your head to her as you took the slip of paper and began your accent.

‘Come to dinner at the River House tonight.’

You bit your lip as you read the hastily scrawled note over and over again. The scent of him drifted from the paper, and you couldn't stop the smile that crossed your features. Even as something like dread twisted in your gut at the thought of seeing him again.

Things had been weird between you and Cassian since the moment in the training ring two days prior. Or, it would be weird if you could bring yourself to drop tour invisibility around the General. You didn't know why you did it, why you hid yourself from him every time you sensed his approach, but you couldn't seem to stop. It was as if, in allowing him to see you in that moment of vulnerability on the roof, your body decided he could not be allowed that close to you again. And part of you wanted that distance, wanted the safety it provided. But the other part could not deny that there was something drawing you towards Cassian. Some force of nature beyond control or reason pulling you into his atmosphere.

You sighed as you entered the room you'd been staying in for the two months and looked at the closets' worth of clothes strewn about the floor. Did you even have anything to wear? If you were going, that is…

As if sensing your line of thought, there was a flash of light on the bed, and you turned to see a gown appear across the comforter. You scowled at the wall, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Busy body,” you murmured to the house before walking over to the bed and running an idle finger over the soft material of the dress. You sighed heavily. You were at a crossroads, and you knew it. The choices before you loomed large and daunting, and while you wanted to wait, to stand in this place of uncertainty forever, you understood that fate would not allow for it. A decision had to be made or it would be made for you. And that you simply could not abide.

Twenty minutes later, you stood before the mirror admiring how the gown fit you. It was a beautiful off the shoulder top with sheer billowy sleeves that fell just below your elbows. The bodice was little more than a few swaths of fabric, the color of lilacs that crossed over your breasts and wrapped around your waist so your mid drift was left bare. The skirt was the same color as the top and fell to your mid thigh in the front. The back draped down to your ankles and faded into the soft orange of dawn's first light. Across your shoulders, down your back and over the waist of the skirt an orange and blue and purple paisley patterned embroidery gave the whole thing an elegance and tastefulness that made you hum in appreciation as you looked yourself over in the mirror once more. You'd left your hair down, only curling the ends that brushed against your shoulder blades and over your collarbones. Around your wrists, you wore bangles and woven bracelets the colors of the dress. On your feet, you decided on solid white ankle boots with a slight heel. It wasn't typical Day Court attire, but it was close enough that you felt comfortable and beautiful even as your stomach twisted again.

For a moment, you thought about staying home. Reading the book you'd set aside for after dinner and accepting a life of isolation. It was safer, you supposed. There was no risk of losing someone like you lost your sister. Of feelings like your soul was being torn in half.

But it was also lonely, and, if you were being honest, the quiet was beginning to grate on you. You needed noise, chatter. An exchange of ideas and thoughts like what you once had at the Day Court. What you once had with Helion and the other advisors. You needed connection and conversation and hope.

You needed hope more than anything.

So, taking another deep breath, you straightened your spine before walking into the hall and heading towards the veranda.

Where Cassian was waiting for you.

Part 6

[ms-oswald]

ocean eyes | chapter two

author's note: here we are with chapter 2! thank you to @itbmojojoejo for being my second pair of eyes 💜 hoping this will be enjoyable as well! This is a bit of a long one, so hang on it :) banner credit to dearest @arcielee! lots of love & stay safe 💕

      The creaking of the bed had become another layer to their backdrop – the rowdiness of Blood Month was driven in the distance, and the sound of her soft laughter had become the main symphony that laid bare around them. 

Her lightened state was brought on by the feel of his fingers grazing her skin, tickling her as they rode up and down her sides. 

Her legs were lazily placed around him as he remained comfortable in the cradle of her hips; uncaring about the outside world, he focused on the soft flesh he could reach with the strokes of his tongue, the nibble of his teeth, the nipping of his fingers. 

Drenched in afterglow, they were suckling on every drop of euphoric bliss, unable to part – unable to let go of their recent high. 

Her nails were caressing his back, softly trailing down his chest until she held him by his neck, tugging him gently for a kiss as her nose brushed his. 

He looked at her with a glint in his eyes, ghosting her lips for her cheek, down her jaw to her neck; the floral scent she wore, the one he loved, had heightened his senses as the aroma mixed with beads of sweat, soaking her flesh. 

For a taste, he buried his face across her shoulder, nose tickling her before placing soft kisses with the feel of his lips, the pink muscles gliding smoothly with his tongue peaking for a sample – a light giggle left her, a response to her ticklish limbs. He took advantage and teased her further, enjoying the way her laughter sang to his ears. 

He then started to linger, creating a path back to her lips as he lowered himself on top of her, the space in between vanishing by the second. The slight shift in movement made her moan, a silent breath running from her parted mouth as her head fell backwards, the heat crippling her to submission. 

She tugged at his hair from the nape of his neck, forcing him to her as she captured his lips, the desire seeping down her body, throbbing under imminent bliss. 

He caved in, meeting her demands as his tongue caressed hers, appetite growing. 

Years had passed since Uhtred had taken over Rumcofa – since he had seen Cwen again, since they’ve spent their first night together; the villagers had grown aware of their relationship, the secrecy veil having dropped without notice, the threads thinning until there was nothing left but dust.  

Such silent revelation had crowned them as Lord and Lady of the village, a shadowed accord between both bodies. 

And so, they did not hide any longer, nor did they attempt to dissuade rumors and gossip about their relationship; it did not matter anymore. 

The continuous closeness they bore for one another had brought Cwen to take residence at the main house, the couple living out in sin under the same roof. 

It had not deterred her from giving up her own home, the small house waiting for her in the long hours of day and night. 

They did not need formal ceremonies – remaining unconfessed, in the dark, hiding comfortably between the bones of their bodies, their companionship had held its title, never shifting – neither deriving nor transforming into something else 

There was no need for it. 

His hand reached for her thigh, his fingers digging into her soft flesh while his lips numbed her own. The friction building up between them, he teasingly thrust further into her warm wanting walls, making her moan as she grasped onto the fabric of her pillow above her head, her bottom lip tugged by his teeth. 

She squeezed her legs around him, inciting movement when his name had been shouted from the other side of their window. 

“Uhtred!” 

An annoyed groan from both, he cursed under his breath as he broke their kiss, his face hiding in her neck. 

Reluctant to move, he dropped his weight on her, bringing soft laughter to her throat. 

She reached for him, gently stroking his hair; he lifted his head to her, earning a smile from her swollen lips. 

“Go see what he wants. It could be important.” The sweetness and patience in her voice tingled his spine, desperate to ignore the call and resume their little moment. 

She pecked the tip of his nose as he sighed and pulled away, quickly reaching for a kiss before he walked to the window. 

Unbothered with covering up, he peered outside, finding Sihtric looking to him. “Lady Aethelflaed is arriving.” 

It took a moment for the words to catch up to their meaning; once they did, once the simplicity of such declaration had reached his ears, the percussion echoed to his chest with his heart tripping over a somersault. 

He acknowledged the message with a simple nod before moving away, finding his clothes. 

His movements slightly quickened by the distant sound of carriages and horses approaching his home. 

Cwen watched him, brow arched from intrigue. “You are in a hurry.” 

“Aethelflaed is here. I should greet her.”  

She rolled her eyes at the mention of the other woman’s name, her voice mute. She simply observed him while she remained in bed, naked, and purposely exposing her right leg as it rested above the furs, her cheek grazing the air as well; she had hoped such a provocative position would lull him back into her arms.  

Putting on the layer of his clothes, Uhtred walked to her and leaned over to find her lips – the kiss was hasty on his part, a simple press. 

As he was pulling away, Cwen stopped him mid-way, quickly grabbing his shirt and hauled him back in to capture him, gliding across in a slow, heavy and languid motion, willfully teasing him as her tongue caressed him with want – a territorial play her subconscious had seeped through her veins, a puppet following its master. 

She eventually let him go, sucking the air out of his lungs. 

She raked her fingers through her hair, a coy smirk simmering across her features as he stared at her, heavy breaths expanding under his chest as heat creeped into his blood stream. A soft groan stumbled at the back of his throat, titillated by the way she powered over him; a play that left him pleasurably weak. 

He shook his head as a soft chuckle escaped him. He pulled her in once more, chasing the aftertaste of her tongue before he leaned over her thigh, placing a kiss to her bare skin, his teeth timidly biting before patting her cheek, kneading her flesh – the gesture made her giggle, leaning on her propped-up elbow against the mattress.  

He then headed out, his steps taking him backwards as he gave her a smirk, the twitch to his lips reaching a wink to his eye.  

Shaking her head, she stretched her leg, kicking him playfully as he turned around, grazing him. 

Out of sight, she fell back against the bed, staring at the ceiling while swallowing the growing bile down her throat, the heat of the moment having vanished all so suddenly. 

A sigh drying her lips, she tilted her head to the window, her thumb now victim to the nervous nibbles of her teeth as she silently contemplated. 

She slipped out of bed, grabbing the fur to wrap herself as she made her way towards the window. She leaned against its wall as she watched Uhtred and Aethelflaed interact. 

She was chewing the inside of her lip, her fingers tightening onto the covers – her nerves were slowly rooting into the pit of her stomach, its nest heavy on her chest. 

She was thankful no one had noticed her; they were both close enough for Cwen to hear the polite back and forth. Observing them, she could see the way Uhtred’s shoulder had straightened, how there was a little light step to the sound of his voice. 

The woman that had broken his heart still had the ability to make him smile. It tore at her, the vines slipping through her blood stream, suffocating all essence of common sense from her mind. 

“Perhaps I should try it. The Witan like to talk-” 

“You still look beautiful.” He had spoken with a smitten beam, his words flustering Aethelflaed. 

Cwen rolled her eyes and turned away, swallowing an unsteady breath, its vibration thrumming her core. She tightened the cover around herself and left the window, holding back on crumbling under the remnants of his past. 

She took a seat at the edge of their bed, calming the unrest boiling in the pit of her stomach.  

She hated herself for having fallen for such foolish emotions – it was the voice in the back of her mind that filtered her thoughts, telling her it was out of care for him, out of worry for him that incited such disdain on her tongue. His hopes heightened whenever Aethelflaed would visit on Mercian business – his shoulders depleting, his mood changing to catch shade under darker clouds when she would leave.  

The sense of selfishness had slithered its way in, a snake crawling through the grass with appetite.  

Things were supposed to have changed between them – unspoken, perhaps, but present, still. 

When Cwen first met Aethelflaed, the first time she had visited a few years ago, she had noticed a change in Uhtred; his shoulders seemed straighter, his smile unavoidable, his gaze towards the Lady – something was amiss, she had thought. 

It was the way they interacted with each other – she had slowly put the pieces together. She had kept her mouth shut until the other woman had finally left, the tension cracking under the horses’ hooves. 

Out of sight, Cwen could no longer hold her tongue; she had understood his grief for his wife, his estranged children. She had not expected such a revelation to be brought to her in such a way. 

She confronted him, asking for his confession.  

And so, he had spoken, a private session between them, as he revealed to her the real nature of his relationship with the Lady of Mercia and of the reason why they had ended their affair. 

Cwen took a heavy gulp of her ale, placing the mug back on the table with a firm sound. She cursed under her breath, her voice for her own, though they still held weight by Uhtred’s ears. 

He frowned, uncertain of what she had meant. 

She sighed, her eyes finding him. “Sorry. I just-” She ran her fingers through her hair, unable to find her words. She gripped tightly her locks atop her head before letting go, her arms falling on her lap.  

She shook her head, agitation getting the best of her; she stood up and started pacing. “Lady Aethelflaed, Uhtred? Really?” She stopped in her tracks, pivoting to him. “Of all the women in England, you had to go for the King’s sister?!” 

He could only breathe out, the way Cwen was holding herself breaking his heart – he had not been ready to divulge this truth about him, afraid to have gained the reaction she was currently displaying.  

He got up from his seat and silently approached her. He reached out, his hands rubbing her arms soothingly before they held her cheeks, strands of her hair encased in his fingers. He tilted her head to him and could see the hurt that weaved its way through her irises, their blues shimmering with anguish. 

“Your eyes lit up when she came to visit.” Her mind raced, her thoughts crying into her ears. He still could not say anything, tongue tied, the pain she showed causing an ache in the pit of his stomach. “You still love her... Don’t you?” 

She tried suppressing the rumbling within the marrow of her bones. She could only stare at him, her gaze fixated on his hues as she tumbled under the weight of them, her fingers caught onto the edge of the cliff, her body dangling above the stormed sea. 

He crumbled under her gaze, his voice finally found. 

“I still care for her.” He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers. “And I also care for you, Cwen.”  

“Please do not bring her between us.” She whispered, her breath tickling him as she spoke with plead – almost in despair.  

She held onto him, her fingers grasping at his chest with the fabric of his shirt trapped and captured his lips fervently. He fell into her touch, reciprocating the gesture as he took control, deepening the kiss.  

He lifted her up, wrapping her legs around him, and sat her on the surface of their table, both bodies undressing each other rapidly, messily.  

Taking off his shirt, he pulled down her dress leaving her chest bare to him. She rested her arms around his shoulders, her lips to his as she spoke softly, her voice broken and imploring. “Call me by my name- say my name, Uhtred, please.”  

Tears sprung into the corners of her eyes as he followed her orders, whispering her name against her skin, yearning for her and her embrace. She felt his hands wander across her flesh, his fingers stroking every inch of exposed skin – hungry. 

His face nestled in the crook of her neck as her head fell backwards, her body surrendering to him. Heavy breaths ran from her lungs, desperate for his touch, the feel of him leaving heated trails with the aftermath shivering for the lack of contact – it needed him, longed for him. 

It had been four summers since the start of their relationship; Cwen had long buried her past, her feelings for Uhtred having carved themselves deeply into her core, growing and coursing through her blood stream.  

That night had been tense, a wall placed between them – wounded and weak for now, conflicted as reason had drowned into the depth of the ocean, unable to reach the surface. 

She got dressed, her mind racing with unwanted attention.  

She left the comfort of their room, making her way to the main hall and grabbed an apple along the way; Uhtred had just returned from his walk with Aldhelm, wanting to see Cwen. 

He smiled at his sight as she approached him. She took a bite into her snack, the sweetness of the fruit clashing with the shadowed bitterness in her tone. “How is the Lady Aethelflaed?” 

He let out a breathy chuckle, the sided curve of his lips shifting upwards as he towered over her. He placed his knuckles under her chin, lifting her head further to meet her gaze. “You have nothing to worry about, min elskede.” My love. The smirk pivoted to a soft smile, quieting the worries that rampaged through her mind. 

She rolled her eyes at the endearing words, unable to keep her face straight. 

He then leaned towards her ear, nipping at her lobe before his voice tickled her. The words that ran down his tongue had weakened her knees, her eyes fluttering close as she deeply inhaled; he whispered dirty nothings, reciting every sinful act he would lay on her in celebration of Blood Month.  

Her cheeks reddened at the thought, his hands gripping her waist as he tugged her closer, his beard grazing her skin while he placed soft kisses on the column of her neck.  

He pulled away, finding her staring back at him, her eyes unshakable to his blues.  

She took another bite of her apple, the juices glazing her lips. “You are lucky you have such a skillful tongue.” Her tone, almost a whisper, dripped with want – a shade of velvet that raised his burning skin. 

Cwen eyed the entrance to the hall. She stepped away and made her way to the front, closing the doors. She then turned her back to them and leaned against the new walls, her gaze back to Uhtred as he watched her, a curious look in his eyes.  

She bit into her fruit, observing as its flavor dipped her palm down her wrist. “She can wait for the Lord and Lady of Rumcofa to join her for whatever nonsense she is bringing here, can she not?” Uhtred had come back to her, instead of remaining outside with their guests – it had given Cwen a slight boast to her chest, the troubled part of her hidden away for the moment.  

He bit his lip, the threads of her silken voice tying him to their interrupted moment earlier on.     

She silently walked back to him and made herself taller as she climbed onto one of the seats at the table. Standing in front of him, he tilted his head upwards to look at her, the gesture mimicking power play. His hands wandered to her thighs, gripping her flesh through her dress while she leaned against him, caressing his cheek, a subtle smirk displayed across her features. 

Sliding his hands upwards, he swiftly lifted her up – the motion making her giggle – as he brought her back to his eye level, catching her lips between his own.  

He pushed the bench aside and sat her on the table, scrunching up the skirt of her dress. 

The taste of the apple sweetening his tongue, her fingers abandoned the fruit as it rolled away from them. 

She tackled his breeches, unlacing his pants in hasten steps, her lips joint with his as he held on, hands to her neck with his thumb caressing her cheek and coaxing her tongue in a slow dance. 

A groan rumbled at the back of his throat; she slid her hand inside his trousers, teasing him as her fingers grazed him.  

Slightly pulling away from him, she bit the corner of her bottom lip and spoke against his breath; feeling his arousal against her touch, heat simmered between her thighs, her chest heaving from anticipation. “Is that for me, Lord?” Her tone, sultry with budding desire etched into her skin. She watched him respond to her caresses, his eyes shut close while his hand tugged at a handful of her hair at the nape of her neck, the other holding his weight against the table, gripping at the wood. 

He pulled her closer, his lips ghosting over hers as their noses bumped; he craved a kiss, already missing the feel of her tongue with his.  

She toyed with him, letting him chase after her without caving in. He cursed under his breath, his voice rasping at the growing pleasure that tickled the base of his spine. Enjoying his slow surrender, she leaned against him, placing a kiss on his cheek before speaking to his ear, her cords inciting sin. “Are you happy to see me?” 

Her undertone stabbed at their current predicament, Aethelflaed’s presence having disrupted him, pulling him away from her. 

He groaned once more, her name slipping wantonly as he grabbed her thighs, his strength bruising her skin. 

She caught his eyes, the spark in his icy blues striking her under submission; she slowed down her strokes, her movements slightly dragging on.  

He leaned his forehead against hers, his fingers digging into her limbs, as he spoke against her lips. The carnal frustration seeped through his bones. “Do not tease me, woman.”  

A light giggle left her, the sound of amusement reaching him like air to his lungs. With a smirk, his gaze remained on her as he rubbed her soft flesh, gently pulling her closer to him, her seat receding ever so slowly. 

Their lips barely apart, he reached for hers, nipping at the pink of her skin; he let go of her legs, his hands falling back to her cheeks as he held her. Kissing her, he took in every spec of the remaining apple on her tongue. 

The gesture was enough to distract her, her breath stolen, as she fell into the desperate sensation of his caress.  

Feeling her still, he approached her and reached for her legs, wrapping them around his waist before going for her dress, hiking it further up. 

With the minimal space left between them, she pushed his breeches further down and wrapped her arms around him, using her limbs to push him against her.  

A low chuckle rumbled at the back of his throat, enjoying the eagerness displayed through her movements. His hand slid up her legs, biting into her skin; a soft moan reached his ear, her lips quickly breaking away from him. She hung onto him for dear life, as his fingers caressed her warmth, making her tremble – retaliation for her teasing. He observed the way her mouth fell open, the way her head slanted backwards as pleasure stormed through her, pulling at her vocal cords with every stroke. 

His name slipped out, pleading, her growing need to feel him completely weighing her down; he granted her wish as he laid her down and pressed her firmly against the table’s surface.  

Once again, she called out for him, her nails grasping at the wood above her as lecherous bliss pooled between their hips, succulent ecstasy at their fingertips. 

      Faint and sinful soft cries echoed towards the other side of the doors, the noises catching passersby without much of a shock.  

Watching the crowd dive into the seasonal festivities, Aelswith stood by the hall, breathing in the cool air as it settled under her chest. 

Trying to enjoy herself, she placed her focus on the people around, a strained smile slowly spreading itself across her tired features.  

Muffles reached her ears, the reverberation of sound pulling her from behind.  

Intrigued, she slightly leaned back, perched far enough until it cleared. 

Curiosity peaking, the colors drained from her face. Her heart stopped, shock convulsing through her, abruptly halting her breath; she could not tell who was on the other side but could depict the scenery that was painted. 

Flustered, she muttered to herself as appall subsided enough to make her move, her feet forcing her out from where she stood.  

With quick steps, she walked away while gesturing a prayer, her hand motioning the sign of the cross. 

Suffering the same realization, Aldhelm had caught on as Aelswith had spoken; he turned away and cleared his throat while shifting to Aethelflaed. In an attempt to lead them away from the hall, he lifted his arm and hovered to her back, while the other displayed the path in front of them. 

The Lady was slowly following him, her confusion taking steps as well. She looked around, furrowed brows, before shifting her gaze to her friend. “Where is Uhtred?” 

Cautious, Aldhelm responded, barely able to meet her stare. “He is… pre-occupied at the moment, my Lady.” 

“Pre-occupied? What could possibly be keeping him away from this?” She had to restrain herself, swallowing the need to complete her inquiry with what could keep Uhtred apart from her. 

Aldhelm, uncomfortable, quickly glanced behind him before turning back to her. He cleared his throat once again, trying to find tact words to respond with. 

“I believe he is with… Lady Cwen…” 

It took a moment – his answer having grazed the surface before falling through, their meaning catching her off guard.  

She attempted to hide her disappointment; her mouth slightly ajar as words failed to escape. He gave her a sympathetic smile, and said nothing more, simply observing her as she tilted her head to look behind her. She just as quickly looked away, proceeding to walk with Aldhelm by her side and trying to push past the heaviness in her throat, the weight dragging down her breaths. 

She met Cwen during her first visit, within the early years of Uhtred’s relocation. 

She had not thought much about her, not having realized her importance until she saw how popular she was amongst the villagers, how she wore the head of a woman in charge – something she admired. 

But she had also noticed how closely together she was with Uhtred, how caring and gentle he was towards her, how he would lean closer to her and whisper in her ears, how her comments would make him laugh – and the caress, the absentminded touch of hand to hand, hand to limb.  

Realizing he was slowly moving on, that he found a woman to openly embrace, had left an estrange taste at the back of her throat, its sensation a shackle to her shadow – a constant reminder of the vow she took.  

Through her eyes, she had seen his future, and it broke her heart. 

A silent rivalry had been put to place between both women, something that had come to gnaw at Uhtred’s bones.  

He had grown to deeply care for Cwen, the core of him aching without her – the idea of losing her over an affair that ended for some time had left him with fear tricking him. Despite Aethelflaed still holding his heart, the ache of missing her and loving her embedded into the shadow of his muscle. 

His relationship with Cwen had grown beyond infatuation, beyond any sense of physical comfort – she had become part of him in a way Aethelflaed was not. He would burn at the mere touch of his fingertips to her skin; holding her in his arms would set him ablaze. He ached for her – even in proximity, in her presence, he could not help but yearn for her. 

It tore him, his heart split into pieces that could perhaps never co-exist, inhabiting disparate worlds within his own self. 

      Uhtred walked through the entrance of his home to the outside where celebration still wired the entire town. He found Cwen leaning against the pole to her left, already in a trance as she watched the festivities. 

A small smile graced his lips, his feet pulling him towards her. “You are not joining them?” 

She turned to see him approach, a soft beam to her face as she shook her head. “Not right now.” 

Standing on the other side, a crowd standing in between them, Aethelflaed saw Uhtred appear in her view, the corner of her eyes shifting until he was in her line of vision. 

She held her breath, the air stuck in her throat and burning her lungs at the sight; the woman next to him had lazily reached out for his hand, pulling him closer until he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, placing a soft kiss to her temple. They were exchanging words, smiling at each other, the interaction intimate and loving. 

Her heart grew heavy, the bile in her throat lodged with strength, forcing her to surrender to tears – she fought her ground, a shaky breath escaping her instead. 

The scene made her wonder, if – had she refused the Mercian crown, had she not given her vows – she would have taken Cwen’s place and be held in his arms instead, for the world to see, to be in his embrace during a jovial time of celebration. 

Watching the priest climb to his pedestal, excitement stirring across his face, Cwen scoffed to his words, recognizing the sermon he was giving to the villagers. “The Lorica of Loding?” She turned her head to Uhtred. “Seriously? Is your dear Lady trying to bore us to death with this?” 

He chuckled, pulling her in as he kissed the right side of her head, his lips grazing her hair. He lingered, taking in the whiff of rose whispering in her locks, while she took a sip of her ale, smiling into the rim of the cup at his gesture. 

He then spoke, his voice low for her ear as his lips hovered. “This is just a gift for the people of Rumcofa.” 

“What a gift.” She mumbled under her breath, taking another gulp to her drink.  

Her eyes then traveled through the people until she spotted Aethelflaed standing on the other side with her mother and Aldhelm.  

An arched brow – hidden behind her cup – Cwen leaned against Uhtred, her head slightly tilted to him as she looked away from the other woman. “She is eyeing you.” She took another sip, almost emptying the cup. “The Lady Aethelflaed...” She handed him the mug as she spoke, not giving him the chance to respond as he drank. 

She glanced back to the priest, not wanting to make her prying obvious to the Lady. 

Uhtred leaned into Cwen, humming into her hair again before giving her another kiss – his lips softly pressing into her hairline.  

He then lifted her head to him, the left hand around her shoulders holding her chin. He caught her lips tenderly, a slow caress that left her breathless, before breaking away and whispering between her pink skin, his voice low and mirthful. “Cwen, min elskede.” My love. He pressed his lips right under the curve of her jaw, lingering for a moment longer, enticing her nerves. He felt the tension in her shoulders slip away, her back molding soothingly into his embrace. He washed her worries away, tightening his hold on her. She fell into his arms, her fingers reaching for him, a need to feel his touch, skin to skin. 

Hidden feelings had infiltrated their way to them, a haunting ghost in the night; it was the day Finan and Ingrith married. Uhtred was officiating the ceremony at his friend’s request.  

The words he shared with the guests were met with timid glances sent both ways, hiding blushing cheeks and coy smiles – they echoed a testament for them, silently spreading in the air and embracing them both, the specs of dust coating their clothes down to their shadows. 

That same night, when the celebrations were dying down well into dawn, they were inseparable; their sheets drenched by the waves of hidden words, the sentiments pulsing with every movement of bliss they would bring to one another, its echoes marking flesh and bone. 

It was this turning point where secrecy had become pointless. 

It was the loving gestures, the sweet caresses and the endearing names. It was the mornings where she remained in his bed – the mornings where he held her close, whispering sweet nothings against her skin. The slow and lazy mornings where they would take their time, dragging the early hours and stretching them as long as they could. 

Cwen had become his peace, the part of himself that craved serenity dipped in sparks of embers, the threads woven into the fabric of his new reality. 

He had fallen for her, the woman holding a piece of his heart, the remnants buried underneath his scars and struggling for breath.  

The air had grown thicker, the crowd’s laughter and rowdiness turning to shock, commotion rumbling on the surface of the cold ground. 

The change had caught both their attention; slowly pulling away from his embrace, Cwen stepped forward, a slight curious frown residing on her face.  

Uhtred soon enough followed her, the people parting like the red sea, the intruder making its way through, voiceless. 

When her eyes settled, taking in her sight, she grabbed onto Uhtred’s arm as her breath exhaled in shock, whispering. “Oh my god.” 

Their faces fell, terror striking them as Uhtred ran to his son just as he reached for him. 

Seeing the scene unraveling from the other side, Aldhelm followed, standing next to Uhtred, agitated. “Who did this to you? Rognvaldr?” 

Young Uhtred yelped from pain as he fell in his father’s arm, his mouth trembling, forcing the perpetrator out of him. 

“Brida.” 

Petrified, Uhtred held onto the boy as he lifted his head up, looking for his men. “Find her. Find her!” 

Cwen turned to Finan as the man nodded to her in acknowledgement. He then turned to Sihtric, calling for the guards. “Raise the alarm. Now!” 

The movements behind him were ignored, Uhtred focused on his wounded son, the festal peace burning to a crisp, the ashes vanishing into the air, a fog simmering above. 

“My son… My son.” 

      Uhtred stood by the door, watching as Cwen and Ingrith aided Young Uhtred, the man asleep, his skin paled from his infliction. 

He turned his head away, the sight overwhelming, and took in a deep breath to calm himself. 

He eventually looked back again, his eyes fixated on his child as he laid restful in bed, wrapped in fur. 

A shaky sigh left him, a sound that caught Cwen; she made her way to him, standing by his side, and placed a hand to his cheek. He leaned into her touch, an instinct that had become second nature to him. 

“Do not give up.” She stroked his skin, her thumb grazing his beard in reassurance. “Sit with him, talk to him, Uhtred. Hearing your voice... It might help him wake up.” 

“And say what?” He exhaled, his eyes dropping as he repressed the urge to cry. He lifted his head up again, turning to look at his son. “What words are there for this? How can I tell him he is no longer a man?” 

She brought him back to her, stepping closer as she tried to soothe the hurt that penetrated his chest. “Tell him you love him. He is still your son. What happened to him does not change that.” She glanced towards the young man before pivoting back to Uhtred. “He needs you, my love. Do not push yourself away from him.” He kissed the heel of her palm and leaned in, catching her lips with his, softly.  

He then wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against his chest – his strength mirrored his pushback against his tears. 

Their moment was interrupted by the gentle shutting of the door; Aethelstan, growing into his teenage years, showed up with news, laying it carefully. “The scouts are returning from the hillside.” 

Uhtred nodded at his words, they young man walking away. 

His blues turned to Cwen, his hand cradling her neck, unable to move. He took another tilt towards his son before Cwen brought him back, her voice making its way through. “Go. I will find you should he wake.” 

He gave her one last look, the pain in his eyes breaking her heart. 

She placed a small kiss to his cheek, whispering to him. “He will be alright. He is father’s son. A warrior. A fighter.” She let a small smile seep to the corner of her lips, an attempt to ease him. “He will make it. Do not doubt it.”  

“Thank you.” He showed his gratitude brokenly, his voice unable to carry. He pressed his lips to her forehead before reaching her own, and then walked away. 

Once he was out of sight, she went back to be by Young Uhtred’s side, Ingrith standing on the other end as both women tended to him. 

Her mind raced, the heaviness in her chest wrapping itself around her gut. She turned to look at the door, her nerves gripping at her inner lip, her teeth holding the skin in between. “I fear for him.” 

Ingrith turned to her friend with a furrowed brow. “For Uhtred?” 

Cwen nodded, facing her. “I feel like there is something more. That it wasn’t just... this... I don’t have a good feeling about this.” 

      “Cwen, we need your assistance outside.” Finan walked into the hall, looking for her, his mind racing. “Hilda and Ivar require your help.”  

Looking up from where she sat, tending to the wounded, she found the Irishman waiting for her by the curtained entrance, not noticing his slight agitation. “Thank you, Finan. I’m on my way.” She then turned to Ingrith as she got up to her feet. “Make sure he stays warm. I’ll be right back.” 

Leading her out of the house, she followed him until he made an abrupt halt, far enough away from the crowd so as not to draw unwanted attention to their words. Confused, Cwen turned back to Finan, waiting to see where she was needed. “Where did you say-” 

“Aethelflaed is dying.” 

A short breath left her – abrupt. She stared at him, barely able to grasp the significance of his words. “What are you talking about?” 

Finan exhaled a heavy breath, though the heaviness in his lungs remained. “Eadith came to me. The Lady is ill… She does not have much time.” He took a moment, trying to gather his words in a tact manner, holding the need to push everything out all at once. “She wants me to keep this from Uhtred.” He took another breath while Cwen had slowly taken in his worries; the delay between the words and their meaning had left her to grip at her chest, her fingers grabbing at the fabric of her dress. 

Finan was on edge – she could see the tension straining his features. He took a step closer, almost whispering to her, his voice low. “Cwen, I have never kept anything from him. I must tell him.”  

“In time.” She composed herself, swallowing the lump in her throat, her shoulders held higher – he needed a sound board, and she would be it. To her words, he inhaled deeply, almost clenching his jaw. She quickly reacted, making him look at her as she spoke, his hues stuck to her. “This must be the one to keep, Finan. Until Stiorra is safe. You know this.” The Irishman nodded – he knew that it had to be done this way. It just had not removed the guilt that settled into the pit of his stomach, weighing him down.  

Cwen softened, her thoughts escaping through the swift twists of her tongue, her mind reaching control; she had no time to put her personal feelings into the matter. “Aethelflaed will hold on until she can see Uhtred. I know she will because that is what I would do.” 

He sighed, dropping his gaze to the ground as he scratched the back of his head. “And if she… passes on before we make it back?” 

She held herself, taking a moment to think. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before meeting Finan again. “Then bring him to me. I will speak with him and tell him I was the one who requested he be kept in the dark. Let him blame it on me.” 

“He will not take it well.” The lilt in his tone grew heavy, a stern sight set on Cwen.  

She bit her lip, anxious. “I know, but Eadith is right – he cannot be distracted. Finding out about Aethelflaed now… He will never forgive himself if he fails Stiorra- if anything were to happen to her while he was away, while he could have prevented her harm.” She was catching her breath, attempting to slow down the race against her rapid heartbeat. “If we tell him now, he will be distracted and possibly make a mistake that can hurt his daughter.” Finan knew she was right. His thoughts mirrored hers, worry of what Uhtred’s response would be if he were to find out now of Aethelflaed’s predicament. 

He let out another sigh, his shoulders slumped. 

Cwen looked to him, her mind unable to stop. “Finan, promise me. Stiorra is the priority. She would never forgive him if he abandoned her. Promise me, please.” 

He relented, the secrecy taking place between his rib cage, the shadow carving its nest into his bones. He swallowed, giving her his slow nod of agreement. “I promise.”  

A quiet breath of relief escaped her, the air in her lungs expanding under her dress.  

She gave him a sad smile with a hand to his shoulder before she was set to walk back to the hall. 

He interrupted her, making her stop in her tracks at his words. 

“He loves ya, you know.” A confident voice, a tone that cited truth through every letter – she could only chuckle as she turned to him. “He does not. He thinks he does because I give him what he needs.” 

 He softened his gaze. “I disagree. I have seen him with you and when he is away from ya. The man loves ya. He is just-” 

“Still on Aethelflaed. I know…” She held back her tears, partly from grief, the other part hanging onto the hope behind his promise. 

She blinked them away, leaving him a simple saddened smile. “Thank you, Finan.” 

She led him back inside, walking to the occupied room with Finan remaining at the entrance while Cwen stood next to Uhtred, going back to tend to his son. 

A glance behind him, Uhtred turned back; he was staring at the young man, who lay sleeping, his eyes tearing – his hues simmering against the soft glow of the low fire that stood on the other side of the room. His gaze fixated on his child, he softly spoke, his words directed to his second in command. “Are you ready for this?” 

“Uh… Uh, yes.” His head tilted downwards, still shaking off the news he had received, when Ingrith walked to meet him. She reached for the clasp of his cloak, holding on tight while Finan lifted his gaze to her.  

Uhtred remained unmoving, taking in a deep breath. The words left him of their own accord, building the momentum into his veins. “It has been a while since we went to fight.” 

“Can’t wait. I’m desperate to wield a sword again.” Finan watched as his wife was fidgeting with his cloak, the man observing her with worry etched into his nerves.  

Without more to say, Uhtred removed his amulet, wrapping it within his palm before placing it gently in his son's hands. 

Finan bid his quiet goodbye to his wife, gifting her a whispered ‘I love you’ to her ears; words of affection Cwen could not share with her own, stuck to her throat. 

Before walking out, he gave Cwen one last glance – a knowing look, an acknowledgement of their talk, and left. 

Uhtred got up from his seat, a deep breath shaking his lungs.  

He turned to Cwen, her irises falling to him, sorrow covering them in a sheer glaze. He reached for her, hand to her cheek in a tender caress. She leaned in closer, her voice barely able to utter a sound. “Be safe.” The tone incited plead, a silent prayer for his safety. 

“I will.” He caught her lips, a soft peck to hers. He tried pulling away, breaking touch with her; he found himself unable to do so. He tugged her closer, deepening the kiss. She held onto him, her fingers digging into his waist, her knuckles whitened at her strength. 

Reluctantly pushing away, he rested his forehead against hers, silently getting ready to leave.  

She tried to speak, to convey emotions that had resided inside her; they died on her tongue, losing the fight against her mind.  

He leaned in again, one more kiss – softer, quieter, calmer. 

He let her go, giving her one last look and disappeared on the other side of the door, readying to leave Rumcofa. 

Hands to her stomach, dread draped the depth of her, grasping to every inch of nerve, bone and flesh that formed her – bile stuck to her throat with fear at the helm; she had grown overwhelmed, the peace they had relatively lived in, shattered in a matter of moments. 

Worry thrummed under her fingertips, the thought of danger chasing Uhtred, of his eventual return to Aethelflaed‘s bedside – it was the uncertainty of seeing him again as well. Apprehension settled within her, on edge, agitated.  

She did not know when he would come back to her – or if he ever would. 

      Weeks had passed since he last saw his son, and since he last saw Cwen; time had stilled almost, the days stretching – its every singular spec of ivory cracking to each drop of the sun’s descent.  

Down to the small phalanges in the curling toes fractured to shape, Uhtred and his men had finally made it back to Rumcofa. 

Wives and children ran to meet the warriors while Uhtred walked towards his home, in need to see his own family. 

Making his way inside, he found Young Uhtred and Cwen interact, the son holding a small smile to his face while talking with the older man’s paramour. The sight graced him with saddened relief, his shoulders slightly released from the tension that had crippled him; the left side of his lips faintly curved upwards – almost in hiding – his tone of voice mirroring ease. “You’re still alive.” 

The color still washed away from him, it had not deterred the young man of answering, wanting to prove the genetic strength he carried. “Just.” Stern onto his tongue, he looked back to his father, giving him a light grin.  

“Just is enough.” Uhtred’s gaze fixated on his son, he took in the scene displayed in front of him; his eyes shifted to Cwen, the woman getting up to her feet and approaching him with the heaviness on her chest liberated. She breathed out his name as he caught her in an embrace, tightening his hold around her, her scented hair calming him. She then pulled away, still in his arms, and took his lips with her own – a needed caress that desired air. 

Through his touch, she could sense something was not right – that something had happened; the way he held on, the sorrow in his grasp of her had left her to furrow her brows, worried. 

She gently broke away from him, her hands resting on his cheeks as she looked to him. “How is Stiorra? Sigtryggr?”  

He took a deep breath, finding her hues as well as his son’s who waited patiently.  

“They are well. Eoferwic is restored, just.” There was solemnness in his undertone – his true voice hiding and waiting. 

Cwen did not let him go, making him tilt his head to her as she leaned against him. “Then what is it, my love? What happened?” Dismay took hold of her, its vibration shaking her nerves. 

The grief in his eyes bore into her own. She could see he had more to say – and somehow, she knew what his words would be.  

Her heart was already breaking, the smallest of cracks forming at its edges, slowly slithering it way to the center. 

He swallowed the lump in his throat, gathering his strength as he stared at Cwen. He took her hands into his, resting them against his chest as he spoke softly, his voice carried to the rest of the room. “Lady Aethelflaed... She has been taken from us.” Grief dwelled in his irises, anchors to the bottom of the sea.  

Her heart stopped, her breath stuck – the bile heavy as it burned and scratched within her airways.  

“That is a cruelty, Father.” Young Uhtred spoke, sympathy towards his father’s latest news resonating through his strained voice.  

She let go of him, remaining quiet; Uhtred still held on, unable to part from her touch – she was standing next to him, his fingers grazing hers in a desperate attempt to feel her close.  

She let him be, composed in her posture as she listened to both men talk.   

“But she’s at peace… It is of some comfort.” It was an attempt to convince himself as well, through his broken heart.  

She could hear it in his voice, in the feel of his fingers pressing firmly against her own. She held onto her tears, not wanting to display her emotions in front of him.  

Uhtred exhaled a quiet breath, his gaze fixed on his son. “There has been much cruelty.” He took a few steps towards him just as the young man readjusted himself on his bed. “Have you... Have you walked at all?”  

“A little.” A small smile graced his pale lips, the man’s eyes finding his helper. “Cwen has been aiding me regain my strength.” She chuckled lightly to her mention as Uhtred turned to her, a grateful gaze striking his features. He pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, placing a kiss on her temple while whispering a loving ‘thank you’ to her ear. 

She responded under her breath, her voice low and caring. “Of course.” She then glanced to the young man before looking back to Uhtred, breaking away from his embrace. “I will leave you two to talk.” She was heading for the exit, her arm stretched as she held onto him. “Come and find me later?” 

“Always.” The light glimmer in his eyes, reciprocated into the stretch of his lips, his smirk instinctive. He thanked her once more as he leaned in to kiss her, his lips softly pressed to hers.  

It was the cold winter breeze hitting her once she was outside that made her realize she had forgotten her cloak; she turned around, about to step back inside the room again when she stopped in her steps, the mention of her name leaving her to hold her breath in hiding. 

“You have a good life here, Father.” Uhtred turned his head back to his son, a slight crease appearing to his features as he listened. “Now that Lady Aethelflaed is departed, you could finally marry Cwen, have children with her. Finally have a life with her that doesn’t leave you haunted with your past.” He had hope in his tone, something he wanted his father to feel as well. 

Hearing Young Uhtred’s plea, Cwen clutched at her chest, her knuckles white against the linen of her dress, while waiting to hear what the other man would say. The cold suddenly became obsolete at the touch of her skin, the pace of her heart beat increasing heat through her bloodstream. 

“One son lost as a babe. One now lying injured.” The hurt shaking his cords, he tilted his head to the light coming through the curtained window. “A daughter who fought alone for her life… I would not curse another child with me as a father. I could not do this to Cwen.” 

She tried to remain immobile, forcing any sound to go mute; the faint tremors to hers fingers, she felt her knees weakened. She leaned against the edge of the doorway, still outside, and placed her hand to her stomach, the other still holding onto the vibrations of her breaking heart. 

“Aethelflaed is not departed. She, uh… she’s with me still.”  

She could barely breathe, her lungs incapable of reaching their height as the air remained thick, to hefty to swallow. The cracks to her chest burned further as its markings carved themselves into the muscles, the blood flow pumping with sorrow and quaking with every pulse. 

Inside, Young Uhtred noticed the cloak crumpled on the table, the clothes caught in his line of vision. He settled his sight back to his father, his curiosity and need to have his father move on compelling him to inquiries. “And what of Cwen? Do you not love her?” 

Uhtred breathed out a faint smile. “I care for her. Of course.” He hadn’t rejected the knowledge that things had changed between them over their years together. It was more than simple care for her – what his son was asking him, there was truth in the matter. But cowardice had its claws, the words dying at the tip of his tongue. He bathed in grief, its waters nesting across his flesh continuously. 

Cwen walked away, her ears burning – her heart shattering. 

The young man observed his father, a slight frown displayed across his face. “Have you not opened your heart to her, Father? Do you not wish to have her as your wife? To love her, as she clearly loves you?”  

He sighed, his thoughts racing to project words he did not know to use. He looked away, a shaky breath escaping him again at the thought of the woman he had grown to love plaguing his mind. 

“It is complicated.”  

"It is only complicated because you make it so. Tell her how you feel, Father. Before you lose her too.” 

      Night had fallen when Uhtred walked into his home to find Cwen staring at the fire burning in the hearth of the main hall.  

She had been resting against her chair, a cup of ale in her hand, her mind lost to the flames.  

Hearing his inability to voice out his affection to her, she had remained hidden for the rest of the day; she felt selfish and unjust but could not care for it.  

She did not move, nor did she turned his way to greet him – he had sensed something was not right.  

“Are you alright?” He stood a few feet away, removing his fur coat before gently throwing it on the table to his right. 

She leaned her head backwards against her seat, a deep sigh leaving her. “Yes, just tired.” There was no energy to her response, her tone of voice almost dull. She took a sip of her drink before finally pivoting her head to him. “Have you eaten?” 

He took a few steps forward, cautious. “Not yet.” 

“I’ll have the kitchen maid prepare a plate for you, then.” She got up to her feet, turning to make her way to the back when he stopped her – a simple call of her name stuck her to the floor, ignoring the way her skin raised to the sound of his voice pronouncing her syllables. 

She exhaled, worn out, and turned around. “Yes, Uhtred.” 

Her reply created a chill in the air; shivers ran down his spine, as he observed her, taking in the way she stood, arms across her chest, as if annoyed. He furrowed his brows, waiting for her to speak again, his silent tell asking her what was wrong.  

The longer they looked at each other – the longer he held her gaze into his own, his blues drowning her, tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, threatening descent. 

She cursed under her breath, head downwards while using her sleeves to wipe them away. She was crumbling and could feel the heaviness grasping at her muscles, pushing her to the floor. Her heart ripped at the seams – cracks inciting fragility as the shards cut, ache painfully breathing through. 

He heard a faint sniff coming from her; he gently approached her until he could reach her, his fingers lifting her head up to him by her chin.  

The moment sat still – for just the longest second, she could only look at him, hurting down to the marrow of her bone. 

She clenched her jaw and took the hand that held her between her own, placing a soft kiss to his knuckles. Her emotions, getting the best of her, she was crying – her sobs sounding soft – as she closed her eyes. She laid his hand against her chest, giving him a light squeeze with her fingers interlaced with his, and lifted her head back up to him. 

“Why am I here?” She was struggling to speak, her cords burning to every letter, her throat dry as her tears shimmered across her dark blues. 

Her question left him confused. “Where else would you be?” 

A small scoff escaped her – a chuckle almost – to his reply.  

It had only aggravated his puzzlement to her behavior. “Cwen, min elskede. Speak to me. What is on your mind?” 

The saddened frown gracing her face, stretching itself along the curves of her lips to the hurt in her gaze, she tightened her hold to him, almost afraid to let go. “Why do you keep calling me like this? Why give me such endearment when you do not mean them?” 

The tender words of affection he would gift her had made her heart flutter, her body resonating to the gentleness and fondness of his voice, to the sweet caress he would lay upon her – out of love for her. 

But tonight, it had been the exception – she was hurting, and it hurt him. 

“I am competing with a dead woman, Uhtred.”  

The depth of her sorrow echoed through his bones, the realization of her pain dawning on him.  

Still holding on, she placed another kiss to their joint hands, her lips lingering against the flesh across his dorsal side, before eventually letting go and taking a step back. 

The warmth quickly dissipated, winter’s dread creeping through, a haunting come to life. 

He stayed where he stood, his arms dropping to the sides of his body as he watched her retreat to herself. He was protesting – refusing to fill such a glass to the brim. 

“There is no competition. Cwen-” 

“Do not lie to me, please. I heard your conversation with your son.” Her arms settled over herself, her palms resting atop the thickness of her linen dress – an attempt to hold herself upright. 

“I understand what she meant to you- what she means, still, but… it has been years since you both parted, why have you been holding on?” She did not give him the chance to interject – her thoughts spiraling the deeper she sunk underwater. “Was it out of hope that you would reunite with her? After all this time, am I still just a body to hump? To pass the time?” 

A heavy silence fell around them – dreadful, eerie. Cwen was waiting, the long second etching ever so slowly, as if the world had stopped spinning. 

A short breath, exasperated, escaped her as she grew impatient. “Say something.” 

A sharp exhale from him, irritation had slowly filled the cells in his veins, turmoil growing in his chest; he was tired – the last few weeks having drained him, from saving his only daughter to the loss of his old lover. Even though her pain ate at him – a starving creature – he could not hold on any longer. “Say what? What do you want me to say? Because I have tried reasoning with you countless times before and yet nothing seems to change! We’re still here.” 

“Because you keep hiding from me!” Her voice almost strained from her cries. “I am giving you everything of me and yet, I never seem to w-” She stopped herself, taking a breath while running her fingers through her hair, her loose braids long gone after the arduous day. She pushed the strands to rest behind her ears, holding on for a moment before abandoning them. “I know you care for me, but I am not the one you would choose... I haven’t become the woman you want...” Her voice lost with her last words, she hated herself for being unable to swim to the surface, to use whatever strength she had to push herself up and breathe. 

She stepped further away, walking past him for the main door – he reached for her, grabbing her arm to make her stop. 

She had been right about one thing, he thought – if the opportunity presented itself, he would make his choice and be with Aethelflaed. He had always thought, in the long run, they would reunite.  

The conflict tore him from the inside; despite the flame he still held for his latest lost love, he could not see himself parting from Cwen. She was his anchor – his siren song, a comfort that had been missed, a need to function, to breathe – a need to live. 

She pulled herself away from him, breaking his hold on her. She took a few more steps and turned around, her voice soft – broken. “We should end this... Whatever we are to each other.” 

He pivoted to face her, a clear sign of distress displayed on his face. “Because of her?” 

She took a step back, her tear-stained cheeks turning red from sorrow as she let her thoughts wander the thousands of roads leading away from each other – constructing clarity, absent. 

“I do not want to be carrying the weight of a dead woman on my shoulders, nor in our bed. Now that she is gone, I fear-” She held in a sob, her eyes blinded by her tears. “I fear I will be nothing but regret, a ghost. A body for you to imagine her in.” She cleared her hues once again, wiping her sleeves over her face. She did not realize Uhtred had been taking steps to close in the distance that separated them – every pause, every breath, he marched to her. She let a shaky exhale roll down, a quick escape into the air. “I trusted you in our years together, that you had held your word, and we left our past where it was. In the past. That neither of us would bring our ghosts into our home.” 

Her head lifted to him as he finally reached her; the grieving gaze she was wearing was tearing him down, his own heart breaking at the sight. He was hurting her, and it burnt right down to the pit of his stomach, his muscles aching in consequence. “I believed it when you were holding me and caring for me, and l-loving me- I trusted you with my body because I believed it was me you really wanted. But now... how can I trust you now when you can’t even tell your own son how you really feel about us?” 

The more she spoke, her wounds deepened, her walls building up as she let her heart take over – her tears marking her skin, her core shaking to his rejection. “Uhtred, how can I love a man who does not want me? Why hold on and make me suffer when you still want someone else to take my place?” 

She laid her hand against his chest, wanting to push him away, his proximity suffocating her.  

He had said nothing still, his tongue unable to conjure a say to soothe the pain that tore inside her. He was crippled by loss and found weakness where he should have created strength. The only words he could utter, they held depth in their meaning, dying out the flames between them to simple embers floating – she could only breathe, a simple task, as she leaned against the door behind her.  

“I am sorry.” He leaned his forehead to her own, towering over her, as the whispered apology ran away to her. There was so much more he wanted to say – the chaos inside him rendered him incapable of voicing anything more. 

“Don’t be. It’s fine... You love her.” She had calmed down, her sobbing swallowed back down under her breastbone. “She was taken from you again and it is hurting.” Her shoulders dropped, her head falling backwards against the closed entrance.  

He reached for her, caressing her cheek. She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his skin against her own – she still needed to hold her own, to end tonight and move on.  

He leaned closer until he caught her lips. There was a hint of desperation, of broken want in his stroke; he had hoped she would give in, understanding that she was the only one he wanted. 

Instead, she broke away from him, her lips hovering over his. “I should go.” 

“Stay. Cwen-” 

“I don’t want to be a consolation prize.” She opened the door, a foot already standing outside. “Grieve her. Do what you must...” She took another step to distance herself from him. “I will be here when you are ready. As always.” 

She placed a tender kiss on his cheek and walked away for the night, leaving him to deal with his own failure. 

      They were standing by the docks when Finan noticed new company arriving. 

He called for Osferth, just as Uhtred descended the stairs of the tower.  

Ingrith and Cwen remained by the water, Finan picking up a rope as he walked away on guard, his glare stuck on their intruder. 

He joined Uhtred and Osferth, the older man welcoming the old enemy. 

Haesten remained a few feet away, wanting to create distance. He stared at Uhtred, his eyes sharpened and grave to what he was holding. “We must speak, somewhere out of sight.” 

Uhtred scoffed, unbothered. “There’s nothing I want from you.”  

“Believe me, Uhtred.” His tone lowered, inciting urgency in whatever matter had brought him. “We must speak.”  

The other man pondered for a moment until he accepted. He then turned around, looking at Cwen, his eyes silently telling her to come with him; she was still highly regarded across the small town – for any matter, he would involve her as well. 

She caught his call and squeezed Ingrith’s hand before walking away to join the others, making their way to a secluded area, away from prying eyes. 

A cart was standing between Uhtred and Hasten, its content hidden under a dirty sheet; without a word, Haesten unveiled what was hidden, displaying the corpse of a dead woman. 

Cwen stared in shock, her eyes wide as her breath remained in her throat. She clutched Uhtred’s arm while the other man had started explaining what he had been holding. To the mention of the body’s identity, Cwen’s heart dropped; the King’s wife was lying under her view.  

A shiver ran down her spine, her hues unable to shift away as she took in every pale feature that haunted her sight. 

Uhtred was staring at the body as well, his mind racing as he tried to compose logic into a proper form. He felt Cwen, standing to his left, her fingers grasping at his sleeve. He lifted his gaze to Haesten, cautious. “Where’s this visionary now?” 

“I placed her with my kin.” A simple response that had not incited any sort of reassurance for Uhtred.  

“To trade her?” 

“To keep her safe. War will come from this.” Cwen knew Haesten was right – fright was slowly taking hold of her, its claws digging deeper and further until it drew blood, the specs of ichor rubbing against her skin. She was lost in her thoughts, her imagination controlling every part of her in its darkest corners of her mind.  

She was no longer following the conversation between the other men, detached, as anger simmered to the pit of her stomach. It pushed interruption between them, her voice finally reaching the cold air surrounding the cart.  

She raked her fingers through her hair, a heavy exhale running from her lungs. Uhtred sensed her agitation and placed his hand at the small of her back, rubbing gently to try to calm her. Her hands slid down her face until they rested at the curves of her jaw. “Why did you bring her here? Why not go to Wessex? To the king directly?” She slid her hands back up again, her fingers threading through her locks and grabbing a hold before letting go, her arms deflating by the sides of her body. “This is not Mercian business!” She was hissing, careful as to not cause any attention to come their way even though frustration and fear were at the root of such an outburst. 

Uhtred intervened, his hand still placed on her back – a need to keep her close. “This is more than just Mercia, now. Daneland will be blamed for this. Edward will not hear reason.”  

“You will make him hear reason, Uhtred.” She pulled away from his touch to turn and face him, a distrssed glare reaching him. “He is idiotic enough not to have noticed his wife is missing!” Yelling through a harsh whisper, Uhtred quickly pulled her in his embrace as he wrapped his left arm around her, her hands hiding her face as she leaned against his chest. She was overwhelmed by the steady growth of a migraine crushing her, her pulse quickened from strain. 

A tensed silence had settled between the four men; it had lasted for a moment until Haesten spoke again, looking to Uhtred. 

Cwen was still listening, her body still pressed against him for comfort. She tried to quietly regulate her breathing while taking in the orders that Uhtred was laying out.  

She knew nothing good would come of this, and had not agreed with his plans; she broke away from him, her eyes falling back towards the corpse in the carriage before the veil covered it up again. 

Taken over by fright, by the looming dark cloud shadowed over her head, she grabbed Uhtred’s arm as he was about to leave with his men. “Send one of your men instead, or at least have someone take the queen’s body away from here.” She tightened her hold on his arm, her fingers digging as terror shook every cell in her body to her knees. “You are leaving this village with a target on its back! If you go, take her with you. Do not leave her here. I am begging you.”  

He placed his hand over hers, and gently pulled it away as he held it against his chest, carefully pulling her closer. “I do not have time to take her with me. Finan and Osferth will remain here on watch and protect-” 

“It is not enough!” Pressure rose between them, breaking them apart. His shoulders fell, his heart breaking at the fear she carried in her eyes. “Cwen, please do not argue about this.”  

“You are leaving a prize here that will not go unnoticed. We need more than just Finan and Osferth.” 

He approached her again, hand to her cheek in an attempt to soothe her. “I will be quick. I swear it.” 

She breathed out, exasperated, her body slowly draining from dread. She whispered softly, her voice having given up. “Damn you, Uhtred.” 

A small smile had left him – barely noticeable.  

“He should never have brought her here.”  

“I know.” He pressed his lips to her forehead, a gentle wave of warmth settling in the pit of her stomach – the gesture suspended last night’s argument for the time being, pushing aside her broken heart for her people.  

Breaking away, she watched him leave with Haesten as heaviness weighed on her chest – distress pushed her to the ground, her body slumped over its strength. 

She could not find rest and constantly looked over her shoulders, haunted by the thought of what could come next. 

-------------------------------------

xoxo

taglist @justanother-sihtricgirlie

[m0chisenpai]

Gosh, the sister Kiri and reader was really beautifull🥹 you writing is also beautifull too! I would love to see a part 2 of the sisters bond,have a beautifull day!😚

kiri x avatar!sister!reader

Part One

I love the thought of Kiri and Reader's relationship. I like to think it is rooted in something deep, something to do with both sisters connection to Eywa. But I'll rant about it later~ For now enjoy part 2!

Kiri took to breaking your shell slowly in the beginning. She could sympathize and understand why you were reserved. It was heartbreaking and strange, waking up 15 years out of a coma without a mother. Jake fathered you in an instance, but you were convinced it was out of pity and shame from what happened all those years ago. And so you walked on eggshells around him and his family. 

You felt the weight of your situation some days, it weighed so heavy you would weep for hours. Then the days would come where an odd icy feeling of nothingness filled your veins.

Because as far as you were concerned, you were an orphan. Never knew your father, ripped away from your mother. Though you were physically na'vi, you'd still felt deep in your heart you were nothing but a dreamwalker, still human. A stray that they took pity on. Kiri knew how you felt, and she made it her mission to dispel those thoughts. 

When family meals took place she'd draw you into the conversation, she tried bridging the gap between her brothers and you. Tried to get you back into hunting.

Slowly with each day you were adapting, learning how to live this new life given to you.

And just as much as you loved the loudness of it all. There were moments such as today where it filled your heart with peace.

Before her knucklehead brothers could get into their own mischief, Kiri took you by hand to explore the deeper parts of the forest. The parts where it felt as though you were close to Pandora’s heart, where Eywa breathed. You feel the slight hum in your bones as you two push aside dangling vines, looming plant leaves.

As your feet move with a newfound nimbleness and fearlessness across a long moss-covered trunk. And as you weave between greenery you can feel it more in your bones.

Your hands wistfully caress every plant. The gentle tickling of wriggling pink plants latches for a moment before letting you g. Your eyes lingered on the sky above to the point of Kiri intervening and tugging you along. The both of you push aside the foliage.

Then it's quiet.

The sun kisses your cheeks and fills your body with a warmth unlike any campfire or hug.

She takes you by hand to the soft grass illuminated by the sun's warm afternoon glow. When you sit on the grass Kiri gets to work. Her sack hits the ground and she begins opening jars that nearly make you flinch away when she massages them into your scalp. 

Salves of odd murky colors but smelled flowery. She massages it into both her palms and massage it gently into your hair. She's gentle because she can remember in one of mom's logs where you refused to come because she was too rough.

Her fingers are quick and nimble, taking down your dark locks and braiding them back in place. She weaves glass beads as well, you keep yourself busy helping her braid off ends effortlessly.

"There was this video of mom," Kiri breaks the silence gently just as her fingers plait and weave in a similar manner, "where she was talking about how she had to wrestle you just to get your hair into a few braids." She giggles silently and you do as well.

"She said you hid in one of the link chambers-"

"Because I would rather get swallowed by a thanator than let her put her fingers into my hair" you wistfully finish. "Mom was good, I was just sensitive."

You prefer your hair braided to Neytiri, but Kiri likes her hair in one long braid. You beg her to let you braid it differently each day and sometimes if you're lucky you braid two free stands to frame her face, or braid wefts of bright colored thread into her braid. 

When you're finished you eye each others work in the crystal blue pond. When you're both satisfied you both end up lying on your sides facing one another. Your arms forma comfortable nook for you to lie your head in as Kiri runs her hands gently over the fresh braids, massaging your scalp.

"Why do you think great mother brought me back" you whisper, sleep sits heavy in the slight slur to your words and the droopiness in your eyes which fight to stay open.

Kiri's soothing pauses as she lets her fingers linger at the apple of your cheek.

Kiri wondered too. You should be in your late twenties, preparing for your thirties, but here you are just barely a teen. "I think she knows what is to come and she needed you here."

You hum and close your eyes. The breeze tosses your hair and sends chills up your spine and neck. You scoot yourself closer to Kiri, closing your eyes completely.

She throws an arm over you protecting you from the cool breeze. Kiri's arms feel like home. And as you lie there in your sisters arms, surrounded by the Great Mother, you realize you are home.

[moodymelanist]

I Guess It’s Half Timing (And The Other Half’s Luck) Chapter Five

Happy @cassianappreciationweek day 2, everyone! I came super down to the wire with this one, but now that I’m done with the bar exam (and hopefully passed) I shouldn’t be so down to the wire for the rest of the fic unless life decides to throw something else my way, lol.

Anyways, hope you all enjoy 🩷

✷✷✷✷✷ Nesta

The rest of the party went well, with everyone more than excited that the baby was a girl. They took plenty of pictures and videos with the various pink props that Feyre and Mor had stashed around the party, Nesta finding herself in the middle of so many photos with Emerie and Gwyn alone that she’d more than lost count by the time she’d done some with Cassian. She’d also consumed so much pink frosting that it was a miracle none of it had stained her mouth, and by the time she’d packed up enough leftovers to feed a small army, she knew it would take weeks before she’d be able to eat another pink food. 

When Nesta finally made it back to her apartment, it was all she could do to shower and throw on some pajamas. It had been nice getting to see everyone and be excited as a collective unit, but it was also exhausting. She wasn’t built for so much social interaction at once, especially where she was the center of attention. Cassian had been a godsend the whole day by diverting some of the attention back onto himself, and every time one of his large hands would steady her at the small of her back, it was like he’d figured out how to take all the tension out of her with just that one small gesture. 

If only he were here now to take away her newly-awakened feelings about the baby. 

Nesta had thought all this time they were having a boy, but she wouldn’t deny how excited she was at the prospect of having a girl. Would her daughter be like she’d been as a little girl, excited to discover the world through books and stories about people in faraway places? Would she sit still long enough for Nesta to make sure her hair was done and her clothes matched all the frilly, adorable accessories Nesta already wanted to buy? She hoped the baby would have Cassian’s curls just so she could use all the adorable clips and barrettes that had never stayed put in her own hair. Maybe Cassian would be good with that, considering all the experience he’d had with his own hair. God, that would be so adorable. 

But despite all the excitement, a not-insignificant part of her was absolutely terrified of having a daughter. She didn’t want to repeat the seemingly endless cycle that the women in her family had perpetuated, from whatever her grandmother had done to her daughter that had inspired the way Nesta had been treated growing up. Eira and Rhea were both long gone, but the things they’d said and done still lingered in Nesta’s bones. What if she somehow fucked up her daughter the same way she’d been fucked up as a kid? What if she didn’t even realize she was doing it? 

No. She wasn’t going to do that. She would never, ever do that. Her family had given her an exact blueprint as to what not to do when it came to raising children, and over her dead body would she put her daughter through the things she’d experienced growing up. Her daughter would grow up never having to question if she was loved. She would know that she was perfectly wonderful the way she was, and she’d be allowed to flourish in whatever direction she wanted. It didn’t matter to Nesta if her daughter wanted to tussle instead of play quietly with dolls, or if she decided to chase other girls around the playground instead of boys — or if she didn’t want to chase anyone at all. 

None of it mattered more than showering her daughter with all the unconditional love and affection she deserved. 

Nesta let her hand float down to her stomach, sliding her hand under her shirt to rest it on her little bump. 

“I love you, baby,” she whispered into the quiet of her room. It was a little strange talking to someone who couldn’t respond yet, but as she slowly drifted off to sleep, she swore there was a fluttering in her stomach like the baby was talking back to her.

Keep reading on AO3 here!

tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @charming-butt-insane | @oversizedbats | @melphss | @sv0430 | @podemechamardek | @autumnbabylon | @live-the-fangirl-life | @julemmaes | @that-little-red-head | @jmoonjones | @sayosdreams | @thewayshedreamed | @hiimheresworld | @brieq | @pearlfortears | @swankii-art-teacher | @nerdperson524 | @snickerdoodlechittybangbang | @imsointobooks | @nesquik-arccheron | @sweet-pea1 | @champanheandluxxury | @dustjacketmusings | @mrs-shadowsinger04 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @goddess-aelin | @arinbelle | @talkfantasytome | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @duskandstarlight | @letstakethedawn | @vidalinav | @c-e-d-dreamer | @dealfea | @katekatpattywack | @burningsnowleopard | @thatsowlmazing

[cassecorrea]

I’ve seen a lot of people do these and I wanted to get in on the action even though it’s super late

Thoughts on The Little Mermaid (2023)

Likes:

- I will forever preach about how my favorite scene is the one after KTG when they sneak back in!!! Soaking wet!! Giggling!! Quiet!! Late at night!!! I love it!!

- after reading about this I’m actually VERY glad they went with short dresses for Ariel — good costume design choice!! A big ballgown would hide the very fact that she’s human now!

- the Caribbean 👏🏼 calypso music 👏🏼 need I say more?

- how Eric finds out her name ☺️ written in the stars ☺️

- the opening quote! The fact that she doesn’t shed a tear until the end!

- the fact that the ending focuses on their new adventures together in the future

- part of your world reprise 2!! It should’ve been longer!!

- the jade mermaid figurine 🥹 (btw I want one please someone make a replica… that I can afford LOL)

- back to costumes, I love her blue dress!! (Tho Lashana(?) had her animated dress’ color palette so like… it was right there XD) but I also loved her pink dress!! And the ponytail!! She needed more hairstyles 😭

- I LOVE the fact that the mermaids are covered in scale patterns, that they don’t have skin at all but shimmering scales all over

- the fact that king Triton just SPAWNS???? From fish???? With the fish cape???? Now what was that about — also, how old are all the sisters if he’s been ruling for centuries??? Questions questions

- I love how Ariel and Eric meet on the beach in the OG but as a variant I did also like that a fisherman finds her (also I love how we see her struggling to swim to shore) this movie also made me realize how impossible that hair flip scene is since she’s standing on nothing and her hair would be behind her but it’s pretty so who cares

- Awkwafina my girl was the perfect scuttle

- scuttlebutt was so unnecessary but it’s low-key a bop so I’m not complaining (though Ariel and Eric SHOULDVE HAD A DUET ok bye) wait why isn’t there a single pop version of a song from the soundtrack like with every other film? Demi lovato singing let it go, Christina Aguilera reflection, zayn a whole new world, John legend and Ariana beauty and the beast, like BRO we needed one for under the sea!! Or part of your world!! Or kiss the girl! Ugh missed opportunity

- her hair on land TwT is so pretty TwT the shades of gold and red and orange ahhhh (maybe could’ve done with a few more red strands but it was still gorgeous) plus the shells in her hair!! She needed more!!

- I’m all over the place but the library scene !!! Ariel’s curiosity!! Ariel always disappearing LMAO someone needs to nail that girls fins to the floor is right

- love that they took out the writing plothole

- Jodi!! With the fork!!

- Grimsby being the ultimate shipper

- yo Vanessa’s actress?? For having so little screen time she BODIED that role

- Halle’s voice duh

- for the first time was such a needed song, love the cinematography especially in her room (her eating the soap!!! Lmao)

- go back home to daddy, and nEVER. LEAVE. AGAIN.

- Ursula looking all zombie and kaiju-esque?? Definitely to hide weird cgi but it looked so creepy and cool

- Eric struggling back to shore at the end and immediately calling to search for Ariel as he stumbles from exhaustion

- Ariel diving for the trident instead of Eric!!

- scuttle and Sebastian were a hilarious duo lmao

- Ariel’s mermaid design (but the early screen test footage version looked so pretty too… more thoughts in the dislike section about this)

- Ariel saving Max!!

- the whole market sequence tbh

- Ariel’s bones cracking when she transformed back into a mermaid!! But I’m so mad we never once got to see a full transformation scene lmao more about that later

- Ariel just putting everything in her mouth 🌷

- the grander orchestral soundtracks in each song

- Ariel’s grotto is bigger

- ariel killing Ursula (it’s her villain!!!) and having to drag herself across the deck (eric saved her with the harpoons so stop complaining)

- Ariel finding the telescope

- the shot of ariel swimming to the surface with her reflection on top with the fireworks!!!

- Ariel forgetting about the kiss

- Ariel singing along to under the sea!!! To show that she doesn’t absolutely hate her home!!! She just wants more!!! And the way she sings music is to me specifically !!! And the fact that she sings more period! I always thought she should’ve sang a lot more than twice in the original version for being known for her voice

- Ariel saving/healing Eric quicker with her siren song???

- the fact that one of my fave Disney ships is now getting all the love they always deserved ☺️

Dislikes:

- her sisters do more than the og but they still need to be shown more… and have lines lol. I read the companion novels for this version and they’re so prominent and have cool abilities and cultures and kingdoms but !! They don’t show any of that in the movie !! Like why add lore if you’re not going to show it… also I like the fact that in the companion novels they rule over fictional seas and their world map is different from ours, but then in the film they just mention real world locations like… pick one

- okay I gotta talk about it 😔 Ariel’s ocean transformation dress. Not to mention that whole scene. It’s one of my favorites in the original and they just… scrapped it. I was looking forward to them actually showing Ariel’s transformation back into a human at the end because I thought the original should’ve included it too (hello I love a good Barbie transformation scene) but they still didn’t show it… AND they didn’t even show the gold magic going to her tail OR her reaction!!! Like BRO WHAT???? And the fact that they took out her magical dress???? And just put her back in RAGS like they put my poor girl in a torn up smelly dress and for what 😭 not to mention the fact that they imply she had to swim naked, find the rags dress, and climb up all those stairs AHEM YEAH THEY ALSO TOOK OUT THE RISING FROM THE WATER SCENE LIKE BRO also if they didn’t want to include the ocean dress (mistake but ok, they could’ve had her scales transform into a dress but ok) they could’ve at least fixed up her blue dress… added some shimmer or shells and coral idk man

- yeah she needed at least one more day outfit… my girl wore the same dress for three days in a row… and one of those days it fell in a lake…

- the fact that every transformation scene was either dark and hidden or not shown at all (come on budget??)

- the screen test version where Ariel had more upper body and arm scales… was better. She just looked so empty compared to her sisters it was a weird choice they made to make her top look more like an actual bandeau bra with a harsh cut off and everything

- yes Ariel and Eric needed a duet

- where was the ensemble?? The choir??? Both in under the sea and kiss the girl??? Under the sea should’ve had a lot more people singing as the song went on especially since he’s talking about instruments and animals (that don’t even get shown???) but instead it sounds so empty since he’s singing by himself until Halle joins and a tiny quiet ensemble — and in kiss the girl it was such a BAD choice to have it just be scuttle Sebastian and flounder I’m sorry but it ruined the sultry smooth jazz calypso vibe of that beautiful song 😭 flounder’s vocals threw me so far out of it lmao they could’ve started the song singing it but the ensemble should’ve come in!!! Where were the harmonies!!! Anyway the broadway version is my fave listen to that instead

- the lyric changes were so unnecessary… Ursula’s a villain, duh she’s gonna spout some shady misogynistic advice… plus that was my fave part of the song 😭 also the whole “use your words boy” line was unnecessary… because when he leans into kiss her multiple times he doesn’t even ask………… like they missed the point there (also why was he already so willing to kiss her, he should’ve been super reluctant 😭)

- they took out les poissons which, fine, I guess but we’re not even gonna have a kitchen scene in any way?? Also Ariel got over the whole food for slaughter thing real quick but I’m glad they brought it up at all

- they could’ve had Sebastian rap at the ending bridge of under the sea (as an alternative to scuttlebutt)

- where was the finale song !!! With all the merpeople and humans singing together!!! At least have Ariel sing the deleted clip of it !!! Now we can walk now we can run… ugh we needed it

- loved the ending… but that final shot was a bit wonky?

- where was the cruise ship????? If we’re not gonna see the wedding on the ship (missing triton’s water spout and rainbow) fine but not even the engagement cruise?? Hello budget??? We didn’t even get to see Ariel swimming her butt off to get to Vanessa?? But we got her tackling her instead 😭😭 odd choice

- I’m sorry but the visuals were not giving on wild uncharted waters, at least in the first half… like show something!! Show him on the beach at least!! At Ariel’s rock??? Show flashbacks?? Idk something??

- the fact that Sebastian is no longer the court composer 😔 and he’s not dignified anymore he’s just an abused wannabe advisor who is harassed like whaaaaat he’s supposed to be one of her father figuresssss,,, also the fact that he’s so miffed and takes things into his own hands during KTG is because he’s a composer, it’s why he mentions bands and instruments in under the sea!!

- I was afraid of this when the casting announcement was first made but I was looking for some more expressive… expressions from Halle :( mainly in the poor unfortunate souls scene and when she has no voice, like she does a great job but I do think she needed to be more expressive in some parts

- why does Ariel call him father?? And not daddy?? Small nitpick but it seemed a lot colder/distant when she called him father lol like it threw me out of it in the goodbye scene

- the whole concert scene was gone lmao not to mention that we barely even see other merpeople or their culture, we literally just see the sisters in an otherwise empty sea until the ending

- no lyrics to Vanessa’s song :( but it was sung beautifully. Oh also it made no sense that Vanessa’s melody started singing before she even put the necklace on?? Like wha?? Why would Ariel’s melody change on its own? Also why did Vanessa not talk in Ariel’s voice? That girl had three voices come out of her XD I guess they wanted the actress to be able to talk??

- also I wish Vanessa were black too since she was supposed to look so similar to Ariel and be mistaken for her (Halle could’ve played her, or even Chloe!) but the actress did a great job so it’s fine

- I’m sorry but Eric should’ve been Hispanic imo… :( they made sure it takes place in the Caribbean but still had a white Eric? Who was adopted? Idk man I wanted a Latino prince :/ also wasn’t a fan of the way they styled his hair or stubble because he looks much better in other things he’s been in

- Eric had only one outfit, even for his wedding XD, and what was up with that weird blue vest

- the shot of Ariel in the sun was too blurry and dark :( didn’t give off the same vibes as the og

- the sky in the part of your world reprise is so pale, they could’ve upped the saturation behind her :( the shot didn’t give the same oomph

- Ariel creeping up the rock… why

- the weird shot in part of your world where her hand is through the hole but it cuts to her being on the rock at the bottom? Made no sense lol also they could’ve upped the saturation of her hair underwater the way it looks in the sunlight since it’s all cgi

- they couldn’t even give my girl an actual high quality mermaid tail to base the cgi off of?? H2O had a much smaller budget but had actual detailed tails 😭

- for the first time was great but melody wise it didn’t seem to fit the rest of the soundtrack? It was much more broadway-ie

- why didn’t the eels talk? Why did Ursula not even talk to them? Ariel killing them literally is what gets her mad and go kraken on her but… they barely had a relationship in this one

- ^ like why did Ursula say the word pathetic out loud? To no one? How was that not an immediate turn off for Ariel? Plus the skulls??

- where was Eric’s flute? Playing Ariel’s melody? And Vanessa walking across the beach all majestic like?

- I’m sorry but the queen was so unnecessary… I get what they were going for with the Triton parallels but they could’ve done that with Grimsby in the beginning or his court or whatever, why give a mom who’s barely in the film then immediately changes her mind in the very end without us seeing it?

- Carlotta 😭 poor girl was written out!!! Lashana was obviously supposed to be her so why change her name?

- I do kinda wish they made the three days longer (give her a week?) but I get why they didn’t, that’s just a personal thing

- some of the underwater scenes were shot at an angle that were unflattering to Halle which pissed me off because she looks stunning in every other part of the movie

- why did Eric’s castle look like a gray European fortress 😭 where were the red tiled roofs and the canals

- Atlantica went from a glowing golden magical city-palace to an underground rocky coral cave… couldn’t we have done a mix?

- flounder was so unnecessary he was barely in the movie in favor for the scuttle/Sebastian dynamic

- max was barely in the movie :(

All in all I HOPE they make a sequel (but please don’t base it off of the terrible animated one lmao please no kids) and give Ariel and Eric a duet, give Eric a tail!!! Make him explore her world too!!! And actually address the fact that Ursula killed the queen like the companion novels state… also please include a full transformation scene lol also why does no one make a version where she can switch between worlds freely, it’s okay I’ll write that into my own version

[rissararity]

Keep My Secret - Stucky/OC

By RissaRarity

(A/B/O, NSFW, threat of SA -failed attempt)

Fic masterlist - idk why it says it's my ao3, must be a bug?

EAU DE OMEGA PART 2 - (Steve + Prism)

An hour later, Prism strode down the sidewalk in her cinched over coat and clunky boots – equal parts elegant and cute.  She let her pheromones go completely, not holding back at all.

Trying to appear lost in thought and unobservant, she squinted at the street signs in the bit of light provided by a street light.

She could hear Steve taking out a pursuer on coms as she walked alone, not really looking at the other people scatter around.

It wasn’t the worst neighborhood,  but it was close.

She ignored cat callers and heard more scuffling every few minutes. She’d nearly completed her planned path when she was grabbed and pulled into an ally.

“What’s a pretty little thing like you doing out so late?” An alpha that reeked of cigarettes showed his stained teeth, shoving her back against the wall.

Prism yelped, knees shaking as he smothered her with his aura, making her hair stand on end. Her throat felt tight as he yanked the tie on her coat loose and opened it.

“P-please…” she cowered, crossing her arms over herself, eyes flashing around for an exit.

“You’re gonna be begging me to fuck you before long, omega.”

“N-no I!” 

he pawed at her blouse,  “Be quiet. Don’t move.” He commanded, making her blood run cold as her body froze.

Any time now guys!

As soon as she thought it, her assailant was grabbed from behind and thrown against the opposite wall.

Bucky beat the man with his vibranium arm while Steve called in another pick up, putting a hand on his mate’s shoulder to stop him from turning the guy into a meat paste.

The blonde then got in one good punch that knocked him out cold.

They turned their attention to her immediately, finding her shakily righting her clothes and redoing the bow on her coat.

“You okay, Bon?” Steve asked, slowly stepping a little closer to the very omega looking woman with wide, teary eyes and pink cheeks.

“It’s different with the shot.” She said numbly. “Normally it doesn’t bother me but…that was…scary. Being helpless.”

Bucky stepped a little closer too, frowning.

“Oh sweetheart,” Steve took her into his arms and held her head to his collar bone to take comfort in his scent. Prism melted against him and yet her tears slide down just as Bucky got on her other side and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

“We can call it a night. Get you home and snug as a bug in a rug.” The beta kissed her cheek, making her crack a smile and take a deep breath- inhaling both of their scents.

Steve stiffened behind them, Bucky a moment after. “Someone’s watching us. I can feel it.” He said against her lips, kissing her after to cover it.

“How do you want us to play this, Priz?” Bucky asked, kissing up the side of her neck.

Despite the terror she just felt, being surrounded by her teammates like this made her feel safe and wanted.  All she could think about was their muscular torsos pressed against her, hands starting to wander for the sake of the cover.

“He’s a sex trafficker, right?” she whispered, arching her back to push her breasts toward the blonde and leaning her head back to rest on Bucky’s chest and looking up at him with gentle, submissive eyes.

“Yeah…such a good girl…”the  alpha murmured as he opened the top part of her coat and began to kiss the skin her dress revealed. She ran her fingers through his hair, making him shiver as it sent tingles across his scalp.

“This is fine.” She said against Buck’s lips before kissing him as his mate’s hand slipped into her neckline, lips attached to her neck.

They carefully kept her breasts from being exposed to the intruding gaze while Bucky began to suck on the side of her throat while he palmed one in a leather covered hand. She moaned against his lips, her hands sliding up the Captain’s muscular torso.

By the time they felt the onlooker leave, all three of them were breathless and horny. It was like they had to peel themselves away, red faced and warm.

“M-maybe we shouldn’t go back yet.” Bucky voiced, watching Prism hastily right herself.

Steve gulped and looked back and fourth between the others, pupils blown. He nodded, “We should wait. Alright for another lap?” he asked the “omega” who rubbed her thighs together shyly.

“You’ll get even more of a response now. Trust me.” The alpha told her, “You smell incredible.” The brunet agreed, nose twitching a little.

Feeling much better after some reassurance and distracting, she agreed.

It felt weird to be walking around in a public place so wet; her pussy lips rubbing on her clit while she walked felt almost torturous.

The walk felt like it was ten miles long. When she met up with them again she noticed the scent of their horny pheromones had dissipated. They were surprised that hers hadn’t. They headed back outside the town to where the invisible quinjet waited.

In the enclosed space, she tried to play it cool and act as normal as possible. Unfortunately her stress rolled off her and only peaked the curiosity of her partners.

Bucky was piloting the craft so Steve sat in the back where the girl was holding a bar for stability.

“Come here, Priz.” He patted his lap, smiling a little as she immediately sat down; yelping a little as she felt his hardness under her. The blonde put his hands on her hips and rocked her slightly, making her gasp.

She shuttered, leaning her head back on his shoulder with a desperate whimper.

“What do you need, baby girl?” he asked huskily in her ear, rocking against her again.

“I…I need…” She crinkled her face in frustration as she got flustered.

“I can’t help you until you tell me what you need.”

She glared just before Bucky spoke up, still looking ahead, “Turbulence coming up. Better strap down, Doll.”

Steve was happy to tighten his grip on her hips, “I’ve got her.” Then adding quieter in her ear, “she’s not going anywhere.”

The little growl in his words made her clit pulse and a mewel come from her lips. She looked away from Steve as she blushed.

The ship began to shake slightly for a few seconds on and off, the alpha used each vibration as an excuse to grind against her rear.

“Please…” She panted, head foggy with lust. “I need to cum. Make me cum…”

Steve smirked, grabbing her cheek with one hand and turning her to look at him, “What was that? I can’t hear you when you’re not looking at me.”

She knit her brows and stomped her foot a little on the metal floor, pouting. “Don’t make me say it again…” She begged.

Fully aware and listening, Bucky smirked as his mate raised his eyebrows.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” He waited as she glared before sighing, “Please make me cum. Please.”

She held his gaze silently for a few long seconds before he winked, “As you wish, Princess.”

Steve eased her knees apart and slid his fingers slowly up her thigh to slide up her slit over her panties, groaning as he felt how wet she already was.

“You really like having both of us, don’t you? So naughty.” He murmured in her ear, pressing a kiss to her cheek, then temple.

Yes, she really did.

Speechless, she blushed as he slid his long fingers up and down a couple of more times before pulling the thin fabric aside to touch her fully.

Immediately, her back arched and she took a shaky breath against his neck. She huffed impatiently as he teased her before rubbing her clit, earning a gasp and shutter as she began to press grateful kisses to his jaw.

“Such a needy little psudo-mega…” he smiled approvingly as he easily started with two fingers, a growl in his chest as he felt how easily her body welcomed him.

“Nugh…” She closed her eyes and got lost in the feeling as he finger fucked her in the back of the quinjet, inhaling his alpha pheromones between whimpers and gasps.

“This is how real omegas have their stress dealt with too. It’s the best outlet, if you ask me, because I’m pre-wired to please you.” He sucked on the side of her neck, careful to avoid her mating gland.  His words ghosted across her skin like minty, electric shocks as his fingers reached the spongey spot inside of her that made her breath catch and body tense.

“I just wanna please you, ‘mega. Let alpha take care of you.” He murmured,  enjoying what he thought was the scent of the Eau de Omega perfume as he slid out from under her and smoothly slid back in to the second knuckle, kneeling.

“…Alpha…” she panted back, doing her best to fuck his fingers while his thumb rubbed her pearl.

“You did such a good job tonight…good girls get rewards, don’t they Bon?”

Her lusty eyes met his as a blush flooded her cheeks, “Y-yes…” she hesitated when he glared for a moment,  “…sir…?”

“Captain.”

Oh.

“Yes Captain.” She amended.

He grinned, “Good girl.”

She whimpered and moved her hips to ride his fingers faster.

“Come for Alpha, Sweetheart. Let me feel how tight you are…” he lowered his head to her inner thigh and began to kiss it, pushing her knees wide open to make room for his him.

Her eyes snapped back open as she felt him suckle on her bud while continuing to let her fuck his fingers. She practically dripped at the sight of Steve with his mouth on her sex, moaning as he met her gaze confidently, even his own eyes full of lust.

Meanwhile, Bucky was listening closely as he pretended to pilot the jet. One hand on the wheel and the other  lazily rubbing himself over his pants as he easily created a mental image from the sounds alone. He closed his eyes after a bit to get a peek at Steve’s live visuals…biting his lip to hold in a groan as he witnessed her beautiful arousal up close in his minds eye.

He could almost feel the wetness hit his cheeks as the cord in her snapped and she came around his mate’s -now three- fingers.

“Good girl, Princess. I’m so proud of you.”  The blonde gently removed his fingers, blushing a little when she gasped at the loss of them  surprising even herself.  He stood a little to rest his forehead on hers, chest aflutter that she accepted it even if she was still riding her high.

“Good girls get rewards, don’t they Bon?” he repeated, a smirk in his words.

“…yes Captain.”

---------×--------×

With the tension and stress drained from her body with the help of an alpha, Prism felt more relaxed than she had in a while. Steve’s horny alpha pheromones had given her all she needed to maintain homeostasis.

It also confirmed the running theory that Bucky’s alpha act passed the omega test.

It really did.

To her omega senses, Bucky felt every bit an Alpha when that was his goal. Even his horny alpha pheromones were on par with the real deal.

The knowledge made her start to get wet again as her mind wandered to what it would be like to be domed my both of them at once. Steve's nose twitched at the scent, eyebrow raising as he glanced over at her sitting on the love seat.

The beta decided to “shower” upon their return and Steve had gotten to relieve himself last time so it was only fair.

For the sake of Steve keeping a hold of himself, he and Prism sat on opposing couches in the little den with books in their hands.

He noticed the far away look in her eye as she got distracted with her own thoughts, scent of her arousal faded as quick as it arrived. She was content, even with the handsome hunk of alpha glancing up at her every few minutes.

After a while, Steve’s attention was grabbed by a whine from the other couch.

Bonnie pouted as he looked at her, making him grin. “What is it, little one?”

“I…I want…I…wader-kerder…” she muttered the last bit, picking at the hem of the shirt she’d stolen when Bucky tossed it to shower.

He gave an amused look, “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you.”

“I…I SAID….I…I want…” she wiggled in embarrassment, casting her eyes to the throw pillow beside him. “I want to cuddle, okay?!” she blushed.

“You only had to ask.” He smiled, laying down on his side and scooting back a bit more into the couch. To his surprise, she laid on her side and planted her face in his chest, purring happily until she fell asleep while one of his arms curled around her.

A close lipped smile sat on his face while he breathed in her lavender conditioner and tossed his book on the coffee table. He laid there holding until he, too, fell asleep as her content omega pheromones unwittingly soothed him.

Bucky entered the room with damp hair, eyes sparking with joy as he saw them cuddled so close.

Her peaceful breathing filled the room as the beta went over and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her head, then one to Steve’s forehead. A small smile sat on his lips while he looked at them for a long while before collapsing on the other couch and crossing his arms over his chest as he rested his eyes.

[ferallymine]

Act 2 - Confessions of a Lost Boy

a/n: yeah i romanced Astarion what of it? Kaledia is my super-graphic-ultra-modern girl bard Durge and Rhododendron (Rho) is my you-dumb-bastards druid Tav. more to come because i'm obsessed.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Kaledia walked along the shoreline at the edge of the moonlight barrier. The Last Light Inn provided enough space for one to walk quietly, lost in thought. Away from the noise of panic and battle tactics.

Water graced her feet, drawing her to take a step. Kaledia obeyed its beckoning, shedding her shoes and armor. She undid her braids- Rho will have a fit about that later- and walked into the water just enough to cover her ankles. The hem of her pants just barely skimmed the surface. A gentle breeze toyed with her hair, making it flow like a cape behind her.

Kill the cleric. Imagine the beauty in the bloodshed that will descend!

The bard shuddered, crossing her arms. The violent thoughts still plagued her mind. As if she needed more unwanted presences. She shook her head, forcing the Urge from her mind.

Set every building in this cursed place ablaze. Rhododendron will never lift that curse- might as well make these abandoned places artful masterpieces of ash and bone.

With a scrunch of her nose, she shook her head again. Kaledia began quietly humming, tracing her feet in the water. Composing songs and ballads always managed to calm her down- this time being no different.

Tiny wisps of purple and pink escaped her fingertips and Kaledia conducted the air. If a bystander listened close enough, they could make out a faint tune. The bard’s eyes glazed over, feet dancing in steps to match the rhythm of her new piece. One arm stayed close to her chest while the other continued its maestro guidance.

“Enjoying yourself?”

The suddenness of the voice shocked her out of her daze. Whatever music one could hear was gone in an instant- joining the wind brushing past. Her eyes met Astarion’s- his shoes and armor discarded beside hers in the sand. His feet joined hers in the water.

“I wasn’t expecting anyone out here. Aren’t you cold?”

He chuckled, “I’m always cold, darling.”

“Cute, but what brings you by? I thought you were reading.”

“There’s too much chatter among the others. I can’t think with all that racket up there.” Astarion’s face softened as he continued, “But now I’m down here with you... and… I think we need to talk.”

He hates you.

“What’s wrong?” She turned to face him, hoping to any divine that her face wouldn’t betray her fear. Another gust of wind picked her hair up, flowing it delicately behind her.

“Listen, I… had a plan." A puzzled look, but he continued, " A nice, simple plan. Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me.” His smile attempted to make light of his words, but his eyes betrayed his sorrows, “All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do was… not fall for you. Which is where my nice, simple plan… fell apart.”

Kaledia kept silent, taking in what he was confessing. See? None of it was real.

“It was… instinctive. 200 years a slave, using my body to bring targets back to him… old habits die hard in the face of uncertain survival.” His breath was shaky- was that a tear in his eye?, “I just… feel awful. You’re incredible. You’ve done amazing things since the crash, bringing me along for the ride. You’ve fallen for a façade and I… I want this…  I want us to be real.” His hands were trembling ever so slightly.

There was heartbeats of silence. Had he fucked this up? Astarion held his breath unconsciously, mind racing and waiting for any response. A slap. A scream. Hells, even if she drove a spike through his chest he wouldn’t blame her rage. All he’d done was use her since the tadpole invaded his body. Was that what he’d become- an invasion to her body?

Her next words surprised him.

“Starlight, I’ve always cared for you.” His nickname on her tongue always sounded like honey. Kaledia took a step, closing the distance between them.

Tears brimmed in his eyes, a quiet whisper breathed out, “Really?”

She closed her eyes. A psionic pulse encapsulated their small space on the beach. Astarion felt their adventures up to this point rush to the forefront of his memory. Their first meeting at the crash site, grabbing arms so they didn’t fall into the hole in the spider’s cave, the entirety of the temple of Selune, the tiefling kids in the Grove, the tiefling party… their first time as they snuck away from camp. In each wave of memory, all he could feel was wonder and love. From her perspective, he’s always been Astarion- not just a spawn.

“It’s always you, my love.” Kaledia opened her eyes, the psionic wave dissipating. “It’s never been about looks or what you can do for me.”

Astarion’s voice caught in his throat, unable to shake the anxiety he now found himself in. This was all new territory… was such love able to be given to someone like him? He gingerly held out his hand, waiting to see what she would do.

Please take it.

She grasped his hand, brining it up to her lips. A gentle kiss grazed his fingers before she rested his palm on her cheek. Kaledia visibly relaxed at his touch, leaning into his palm.

“May I hug you?” Her amethyst eyes looked up. He knew he could say no and she wouldn’t think less of him for it.

He nodded silently in response, a tear escaping down his cheek.

“You don’t have to lick love off of knives, Astarion.” A gentle whisper in his ear, “Love can be freely given, without anything expected in return.”

His breath hitched, arms delicately holding her close. She could pull away if she wanted- could still escape and save herself from the burden of loving such a lost boy. Who are you without Cazador? Are you worthy of love in this void of lost identity? Who is Astarion, and does he deserve what others are willing to give? After everything you’ve done? After who you’ve done?

A sudden wave from the lake lurched on the couple. The water was so cold, Kaledia shrieked and lost her balance. Astarion tried to catch her, but fell beside her into the water. They were soaked, head to toe.

Kaledia’s breath gasped, sitting up in the frigid water. She wiped algae from her eyes and pulled her hair back from her face. Astarion sat up beside her, spitting more water from his mouth.

The absurdity of it all… she couldn’t help but laugh. He joined in, realizing she wasn’t laughing at him. After helping each other stand up, she brought his face close. Their soaked foreheads touched in another tender moment.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Hand in dripping wet hand, they began their walk back up the hill to the Inn.

——

Shadowheart elbowed Rho in the ribs, “What was that for?”

The drow winced before ducking back under cover. She snuck another peek at the shore before responding, “I got tired of waiting.”

“They’ve been fucking for weeks!” A harsh whisper.

“Yeah, but they just now fell in love.” Rho massaged her ribs, “Sometimes a good cold shower snaps people out of their anxiety spirals.”

[littlefreya]

Behind Blue Eyes

Summary: Beaten and broken, August Walker walks the streets of an unnamed city while he is taken by sudden longing.

Pairing: August Walker x OFC (August's POV)

Words: 2k

Warnings: +18, angst, bad language, mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of a breakup, longing, love, heartache. August being poetic AF and August being a prick and stealing candy.

A/N: This story was in my WIP drive for 2 years now and I finally got inspired to finish it. Beta'd by the amazing @agniavateira. I hope you'll enjoy it, I admit it's different from my usual stuff.

Behind Blue Eyes

Ghostly smoke carried onto the autumn breeze. It permeated my nostrils, making my throat itch and my tear ducts sting. The entire street smelled like burning elm leaves and some sort of tarty odour that resembled charred pumpkins. Might have been some ritualistic witchcraft. 

This time of the year made all sorts of freaks swarm the streets. 

I should know, I was one of them. With blood seeping out my nostrils and caking my moustache, I looked like something that crawled out of hell myself. 

Stumbling to the hotel, my feet nearly failed me. Whatever I was tonight, it wasn’t a man but a shadow at best, no more than the swarming pack of ghouls and demons that rushed toward me. Their white and green faces leered with taunt, eyes glowering hollow and fangs of red plastic greeted me with an insult. 

Fucking kids.

Unbalanced, I swayed from one side to the other. My long arm casually lunged forward, my hand diving straight into the pumpkin-shaped bucket a little boy was holding. Not batting a single eyelash, I grabbed a handful of candies.

“Hey, mister! That’s mine!” The kid whined with protest, lifting his mask to look at me with a distressed pout.

Unfazed by his stupid face, I snorted and stored the pillaged Halloween snacks down the pocket of my trench coat, offering him a scolding frown instead. “You damn kids should be in fucking bed, it’s almost 2 am.”

Was it actually? I lost track of time after my sixth glass of bourbon.

“Fuck off, boomer!” They shouted at me as I walked away. The Cheshire grin smeared on my face hurt my cheeks; I haven’t been this amused since I hate-fucked Hunt’s daughter against the window at HQ. But my smile shortly waned as every bone in my body kindly reminded me of the beating I took a few hours earlier. 

‘Screw this night.’ I balled my fist around the sweets in my pocket and spat a mouthful of blood on the curb. This assignment didn’t go as smooth as planned; someone informed the target and he was well aware and prepared for my arrival. As he mauled me down and pulled out a box-cutter I was sure this was going to be the one where I kicked the bucket.

A brush with death on the night of Halloween, how poetic.

'More like pathetic.' In that glacial moment when the blade kissed my throat, the only thing that lingered on my mind was her.

How the phantom of her lips kissed below my sideburn, her scent so vivid yet drifting away. I couldn’t grasp it, couldn’t keep the sensation that was her entity. As the remnants of her reverie completely faded, came the pure rage. That asshole didn’t stand a chance once I gained the upper hand and started beating him to a bleeding pulp. 

I needed a drink after that—at least four to dull the pain and erase those ridiculous thoughts. 

Flares of striking pink and orange blinded my eyes as I finally made it to the hotel’s lobby. The honeyed spirit that laved my veins failed to take the edge off; rather than dimming my senses, it enhanced every physical and mental pain while I oscillated into a whirlpool of hurt. One by one, the memories hit me like a flash, gnawing at me while I made my way through the empty neon-lit lobby and advanced toward the elevator. 

Did I even remember what she looked like? Or was her face altered and changed by the fickle fingers of memory? 

Trying to keep on my feet I barged into the lift, surprising a middle-aged lady who stood against the translucent glass wall with eyes wide open and disdain written all over her wrinkled face. She curled her nose, either because of how badly I smelled or how bludgeoned I must have looked. 

“Ever had sex in an elevator?” I teased, grabbing the flaccid bulge in my groin with a suggestive wink. Horrified, she grunted at me and fled in an instant.   

Still laughing, I took the elevator and then sauntered toward the hotel room. My amusement surely died as my chest burnt with every heave and the unmistakable taste of iron climbed up my throat. 

“Shit…” I mumbled.  Exhausted, I sank into the cradling grave that was my bed, and my eyes soared to the ceiling. Memories of her lying beside me haunted my thoughts; the tender pads of her fingers, hovering over my hairy chest, the fragrance of her skin - subtle, like dry autumn leaves, wafted over me.

The idea that I might die here, in a city so far away from her, without her even knowing crept into my mind and a sense of painful hollowness wove in my gut. 

If I could only speak to her, one last time…

“I still have her number,” I mumbled into the dim light.

I never lost it. Like an idiot I kept moving it from one burner phone to the other, lying to the agency that it was an important informant. Fishing for the device from my pants pocket, I stared at the black mirror and stroked a bloody thumb over the opaque reflection. 

The last memory of her was sobs and screams, her pretty little face swelling as she cried because I told her I didn’t care about her.

And I really didn’t. At the time.

'Did I?'

My thumb slid to unlock the phone, seeking the directory for her name. And there it was, imprinted black on white. Just a name of a girl—a common name even—and yet my throat clenched just from uttering it on silent, chafed lips.

“Don’t do it…” I tried to reason with myself, remembering how she screamed at me that she never wants to see me again. Her eyes were so red I was afraid she'd cry blood and despite it all, she was pretty when she cried. 

“Don’t be that idiot…” I warned myself.

But then the sound of the line ringing filled the room like the guilt that poisoned my heart. 

'What heart?' I chuckled bitterly, my eyes squinting at the brightness of the screen while I stared and waited to hear her voice. “Answer princess, what time is it there anyway? Is it late?” 

“Hello? Who is this…?” 

My entire body stiffened once her voice penetrated my head. Crisp and sharp, buffered by the phone line yet her timbre was soft as always, just the way it was when we used to speak before that when I would call to say goodnight while on a mission. God, I lied to this woman more than I ever lied to anyone else in my entire life. 

I didn’t deserve her, and yet I wanted her too badly.  

“Hello?” she asked again, slightly groggy but not even an inch of agitation.

“Princess…” Finally, I managed to speak.

Silence fell on the other line and then her breath shuddered. She swallowed and exhaled loudly and all I could think of was how much I wanted to touch her face right now. It’s been a year, and yes, I might have been with a dozen other girls, but none of them was my sweet little angel with her tragic, soulful eyes. 

“August…”

After all this time, my name was on those lips again. Instinctively I scoffed on the bed, bliss warm and golden surged through my tendons. She remembered my voice… she didn’t hang up right away. 

“It’s three in the morning.” There was a deep sadness in her voice but no signs of anger, not that I could hear, so I pressed on, letting hope lead me astray. 

“It’s me, yeah. Did I wake you up?”

“Are you drunk?” 

I sniffed my own breath, the sour scent caused me to curl my nose. “No,” I lied. But she wasn’t fooled for a second. Words, as few as they were, slurred and she knew I was too proud to ever call a woman in order to tell her how much I fucking missed her. 

“Are you alone right now?” The thought of someone lying next to her made me clench my jaw. Surely, my heartbeats slowed and like a cougar, I tried to listen to her bedroom to detect any shift of fabric, any weight on the mattress that wasn’t hers.

“Don’t do this,” she deflected, “you left me, remember? You didn’t want a relationship.”

‘I made a mistake, I want you, princess.’ I knew that now more than ever. I wanted to wake up next to her every morning, to have her sleeping on my chest, her little head resting on my pec while I caressed her hair.

Maybe with her, I could be normal. In my mind, I could see it all clearly;  little potted herbs growing on our kitchen’s window ledge, friends coming over for a summer BBQ while I’m flipping burgers and she’s serving rolls in a summer dress. She would roll her eyes at my bad puns while I’ll sneak a cup at that delicious ass.

My sight became even blurrier, and something wet and warm rolled down the corners of my eyes. With a broken voice, I half-whispered, “I miss you…” 

She remained silent, or at least she tried to, but the sound of her little sniffles was noticeable even through the hand that must have covered her mouth.

“Remember Malibu? Remember how I ate you out on the beach, during sunrise? You were so beautiful when you came around my mouth, your body arching on the sand, the first rays of sunlight kissed your nipples and showered your torso with warmth. You told me you could love me forever that day. Do you still feel that way?”

She pulled at her nose and swallowed slowly. I could see those beautiful eyes going glassy and for a moment there, I felt like that jerk again—the jerk that made his beautiful woman cry.

“Do you?” I asked again. 

“Did you just call me to validate yourself?”

Answering a question with a question. Of course, my woman had always been wise. 

“How many others have there been? Is there a list? Are you going through us all right now because you are bored and need to feel like a man?”

A faint grin stretched across my face. There it was, the anger, but it wasn’t because she hated me. No. It meant she still cared and perhaps she was even a little bit jealous if she asked about ‘others’.

“Angel, in all those long, excruciating months there was just you. I only ever wanted you.” 

“August…”

An odd wail came from the other line, cutting her off mid-sentence. Alarmed, she let a sharp gasp and covered the handle to muffle the sounds.

‘Did she get a cat?’ I frowned dumbfounded but briefly the realisation hit and I shot up from the bed, pressing the phone so close to my ear it seared. 

It’s been a year, enough time for...

“Is that…? Is it my ba…”

“I am sorry, I have to go,” she responded in obvious panic. 

“Wait!”

I could hear her rushing out of bed, the rustling of the fabric whooshing while the cries grew louder and ravenous. “Please, August, just go to bed. You will forget all about me in the morning and move on with your life like you always did.” 

The connection was severed as she hung up the phone. The cold, monotonous tune screamed through the device like the life support monitor of a dead man. But at that very moment, my heart was anything but lifeless; it pounded in my chest as if it was beating for the first time in many years. 

Half-sat on the bed, I exhaled with sheer astonishment, my fingers still tingling at the discovery as I held onto the phone. 'You couldn’t let me leave, couldn’t you princess?' She kept a piece of me inside her, a piece that will forever symbolise how much she truly loved me. 

A breathless chuckle left my throat. Fuck, it hurt but I couldn't care less anymore. Amid the blood and crushed bones, hope began to sprout, spreading throughout my chest and bringing life to what used to feel like a graveyard.

After all the years, there was a purpose, and I knew what had to be done. And maybe she'd hate me at first, perhaps she'd resent me for coming back, but now that we were a family, there was no way I was to be denied.

'I’m coming home, baby. Daddy is coming home.’ 

[ladyelissarose]

‘I’m Here For You’

Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace x girlfriend reader- nickname ‘Skylar’

 Warnings: mentions of anxiety, worry, fluff

Summary: After being caught up in her work to take a test that’ll guide her to the next rank, Phoenix forgot to keep a promise to her girlfriend. Now, will Skylar see this as a mistake or judge her for it?

 “Honey!! I’m home!”

Phoenix heard that familiar lovely voice come through the front door early in the morning, signaling that her girlfriend of 2 years had just gotten home from her all night shift. Skylar was a nickname the academy had given her as she worked for the San Diego Police Department, but Phoenix liked calling her gentle giant ‘mamas’. She heard the door close softly as the keys jingled and clanked against one another as they were probably being hung on the key rack. Phoenix was supposed to still be in bed resting, but instead she had stayed up all night, going though her work and books for the Lieutenant Commanders test she was soon supposed to take, worrying that maybe she wasn’t reading or learning enough to pass with a high score. More than anything she wanted to pretend that she was fine and just run to her girlfriend and treat her well for working so hard last night, but she couldn’t move any bone in her body, and just stayed seated in their shared office and nibbled on her fingernails nervously. Phoenix looked down at herself and at her desk, both were a complete mess. Phoenix hadn’t showered or eaten, her hair was a knotted mess in a bun, wearing the same old t-shirt of 2 days, that Bradley had lent her after she forgot to bring a change of clothes to the gym, along with leggings and fuzzy red socks. Her desk had scattered papers and open books everywhere, as well as sticky notes taking place on every durable surface. Phoenix continued to nibble on her fingers as she heard her girlfriends footsteps approach the room, and she could only think to herself,

 ‘I must be the worst! I promised I would make her breakfast and run her a warm bath. Instead I’m still here at my desk at 9 in the morning with nothing done! She’s going to be so mad, but I don’t blame her, I was selfish-‘

  “Hi baby, what’s going on?”

Phoenix went completely stiff at Skylar’s greeting again, and held her pinky finger at the tip of her pouty lips, looking down at her paperwork, contemplating what her next move should be. But she soon felt a nice weight come on her shoulders as familiar arms hung over them and push her against a warm and inviting chest. A sweet peck was given on her cheek before she was asked again,

  “Honey, what’s going on? Why haven’t you gone out of here?”

 And that’s when Phoenix put her hands over her face and began to cry softly, feeling completely useless and overwhelmed with everything in that moment. Phoenix instantly felt the warmth of Skylar leave her body, but before she could beg Skylar to stay and not leave as well as give out her apologies for not keeping her word, she was spun around on the chair to face Skylar who had bent down and held her hands on Phoenix’s knees as she concernedly asked,

  “Nix why are you crying? What’s the matter honey, talk to me?”

 Phoenix sniffed as she wiped her nose with the back of her hand, and shrugged, returning her other hand back to her lips as she let her anxiety take control to nibble her fingers again. But before she could try to get that close, Skylar took both of Phoenix’s hands into hers and held them tightly, while looking up to her lovingly, hoping Phoenix’s warm brown eyes could find her own. Phoenix looked everywhere but Skylar as she voiced through tears that continued to paint her now pink cheeks,

 “I really- I really wanted to keep my word and treat you this morning, but I got caught up in work- I’m so so sorry- please-“

 Skylar shook her head and began to say,

  “Hey hey hey.. no more sorrys, tell me what’s going on with my baby. What or who is making my beautiful girl cry?”

 Phoenix slightly blushed at being called beautiful for the one-millionth time, but nonetheless she turned her head and used her chin to point at her desk while pouting,

  “The Lieutenant Commanders test is driving me crazy, but I really want it, like really bad mamas.. but I can’t seem to grasp any information-“

 Phoenix squeezed her eyes shut as she let out a sob and began to cry again. Skylar was quick to understand the weight of it all, she knew that Phoenix’s job as a Naval Aviator was a competitive job, and they only picked the best, the number 1, so the work it took to get there, could be unbearable sometimes, and it made her sad to think that Phoenix felt terrible for believing that she wasn’t enough or even selfish. So Skylar then decided to take matters into her own hands, because she more than anything hated seeing her bright and beautiful girlfriend crying, and blaming herself for things she couldn’t control. Still holding Phoenix’s hands, Skylar stood up and offered sweetly while tugging at Phoenix’s hands,

  “Come on sweets, let’s go take a bath.”

 Phoenix lifted her face and revealed her puffy red eyes with dark bags under, along with her swollen pink lips, she shook her head no as she stood up,

  “No I’m supposed to take care of you-“

  “Natasha.. I said, let’s go take a bath. Please?”

Skylar used a little bit of firmness so Phoenix could stop trying to turn it around, which she was glad that it worked as Phoenix gave in as she still sniffed away her tears

 “ok.. are you going to be with me?”

 Placing a warm kiss to Phoenix’s lips that were a bit salty with tears, Skylar smiled,

  “Of course I am. Go pick out your choice of bath bomb or whatever you want to use, I’ll go pick out our pjs and things.”

 Phoenix felt a little better as she cooperated, Skylar held her hand as she led them to their bedroom and large restroom that had a nice, good-sized tub, awaiting to be used by two tired and exhausted angels. Skylar then walked away to their drawers, as Phoenix opened the cabinet and pulled out the vanilla scented bath bombs, along with the Shea butter & honey cream, for afterwords.  In a short time the bath tub was almost filled with warm vanilla water, Phoenix sat on the little chair they had their as she waited for Skylar to return, which soon came when Skylar walked inside with their favorite hoodies and socks, along with their usual matching undergarments. Phoenix stood up so she could place the clothes there as she asked curiously,

  “What took you so long mamas?”

 Skylar sent her a wink as she said proudly,

  “I ordered us some breakfast from the Waffle House. It’ll be here by the time we’re done, so we can have breakfast in bed. What do you think?”

 Phoenix let her eyes water as she whimpered,

  “I think that’s so sweet of you, I-I don’t deserve you.”

  Skylar awed while Phoenix let her take down her messy bun and massaged her scalp,

  “You do deserve me, all of me, no matter what. You work so hard and only deserve the best because of it. Ok?”

 Phoenix smiled while her tears were wiped away softly by Skylars fingers,

  “ok.. Thank you.”

“Anytime my love, now let’s get in before it gets cold on us.”

 Soon Phoenix rested against Skylar’s chest as they cuddled in the tub after rinsing off the vanilla and honey scented shampoo and body wash. Phoenix’s tears of joy and appreciation were poured the entire time, while Skylar showered her with love and caring actions, as she washed her hair, massaged her sore shoulders with the body wash, carefully rinsed and made sure the soap didn’t get in her eyes, it was all so beautiful and sweet for Phoenix, and made her only fall more in love with Skylar. And now Skylar sweet talked Phoenix while kissing her exposed skin in between,

  “I’m here for you whenever you need, and it’s ok to solely focus on your job, I know that test is very important to you, especially when you need to get there before Mr. Jake -Alter-ego Seresin right?”

 Phoenix’s shoulders shook a little as she giggled, Jake Seresin had been a big influence on Phoenix taking the Lieutenant Commanders test, betting that whoever got it first would have to pay and host and celebration party as well as take and pay for a short vacation for passing. And Phoenix really wanted it, more because she wanted rank, but as well as the prize Jake had promised for it, she could imagine taking her girlfriend along with her to celebrate and to a well deserved and wanted vacation. But Phoenix had taken it more seriously this time, and let it all overwhelm her, packing it all on her at once wasn’t a good choice, but she didn’t see it until it was almost too late. But now Phoenix realized that she had forgotten to take care of herself through the process, and the only way she could be sane enough to pass, was if she took care of herself too.

  “You’re right Skylar.. I got too ahead of myself and just let myself drown over my own ambitions.”

  With a tight squeeze Skylar replied,

  “It’s ok to be ambitious.. to want to do and be more, but the only way you can get there, is if you take care of your mind, your heart, your body, so that all of you can get there in one piece, and I’m willing to help you get there, I’ll help you study.”

 Phoenix turned her head to face Skylar as her eyes beamed with hope,

  “Really? But it’s a lot.”

 “That doesn’t matter to me, all that’s matters is that my baby is taken care of, and that she learns the material to pass-“

Ding ding ding!!!

 Skylar’s head perked up as she cheered,

  “Hey our foods here! Why don’t you get dried up while I go pick it up, yeah? I’ll be right back.”

 After smooching Phoenix’s cheek then lips, Skylar jumped out of the tub carefully, and slipped on a robe before walking out.

 Phoenix then unplugged the tub and got out slowly to not slip. She began to dry herself from head to toe while her hair was wrapped up in a towel. She soon heard bags ruffling around as Skylar’s voice sounded out,

  “I’m back! Let me set this up, then I’ll come change with you.”

 “Ok! I’m drying myself off still.”

 “That’s ok!”

In mere minutes Skylar returned and helped rub the rest of the cream on Phoenix’s sore shoulders and feet, happy when Phoenix returned the favor. After slipping on their hoodies and clean fuzzy socks, Skylar caught on to how Phoenix kept nibbling her fingers here and there, so she suggested nicely,

 “Why don’t we paint our nails first? Then we can go eat.”

  Phoenix dropped her fingers from her mouth as she apologized,

  “It’s a bad habit from when I’m nervous, I’m sorry.”

  Taking out the white nail polish and painting them carefully Skylar said,

  “It’s ok to be nervous, but nibbling these pretty nails won’t help, ok? So let’s see if painting them will help, cause as much as I love my baby even with her nibbled fingers, I like to see her with them all dolled up too.”

  After letting Phoenix admire them and promise to try her best to not go back to her bad habit, Skylar sent her a wink as she finished up and used the nail dryer machine to dry them quicker. Soon Skylar happily led Phoenix to their bed where their food was set nicely on some trays. They helped each other climb in bed and get settled nicely under the warm puffy white covers, then put the trays in front of themselves, beginning to dig into their warm delicious meal of waffles and bacon. Skylar smiled to herself as she watched Phoenix be so soft and cute, people from outside their house saw Phoenix as a strong woman, no one ever saw her cry or sweat, she was fierce and fought to the last minute to get her prize. She didn’t let a soul intimidate or demean her, in the skies she was a leader, she was Phoenix, the one who rose from the ashes and ruled the skies. But at home, she was babied and cared for like a precious diamond, her girlfriend protected her like no other and did her best to shield her from the harmful world, and Phoenix liked that, she liked feeling cared for, and having her hair down. When they finished eating Phoenix wanted to get up and go on with studying and cleaning up her desk’s mess, but Skylar immediately put a stop to it,

  “No no no... you my dear, are going to snuggle in, and get some much needed beauty sleep. Warm up the bed while I go take this to the kitchen, and if I see you up. So help me God.”

  Phoenix laughed at her girlfriend as she watched her try to be super serious, so she teased.

 “And what if I’m not here when you come back?”

 Skylar eyed Phoenix from the door while holding the trays, as she said,

  “I will literally tie you to the bed, and punish you-“

  “I want that-“

 “No, sleep first, and if you’re nice and obey, I might consider to do what your pretty mind wants me to do. Yeah?”

 Tucking herself under the covers Phoenix sighed defeatedly,

  “Okaaaaay.”

Skylar then walked to their kitchen and threw away the trash, and washed their forks and empty glasses of orange juice. When she walked back to the room, she was met with Phoenix’s soft snores and heavy breathing from passing out into a deep sleep. Fist-pumping the air Skylar quietly cheered to herself, then used that time of Phoenix being asleep as an opportunity to fix up her office.

  About 4 hours later, Phoenix woke up while being spooned, feeling absolutely comfortable and at home. Warm arms were wrapped around her waist that held on tightly, Phoenix thought Skylar was asleep, until she heard her soft voice coo,

  “You up dear?”

 Phoenix nodded as she turned around to face Skylar and smiled,

  “Yeah I’m awake, I feel a lot better too.”

 With a boop to Phoenix’s nose Skylar cuddled closer,

  “I’m glad you do.. when you’re ready, we can go study ok?”

 Phoenix thought for a moment before saying,

  “I think I’m ready to start.”

 “Ok, let’s go then.”

 Phoenix should’ve caught on to how Skylar was eager to pull her into her office, but she soon found out why.

  Her desk was all cleaned up and organized perfectly, the books were in order and the sticky notes found a new home on a hanging board. Her scattered papers were sorted out in folders that had labels, her pencils, pens, and markers even had their own new place, inside cute little cups. She even had some little heart decorated stress balls. Phoenix awed as she hugged Skylar and thanked her,

  “You’re so amazing! This is so much better than I had it.”

  Laughing softly, Skylar then pointed out,

 “And if you look under your desk, you have a new little fridge there, that holds snacks and drinks. So you can have something to eat while you work when I’m not here.”

 And it was true, a little fridge was found in place under her desk, with Phoenix’s favorite snacks and drinks, only making her smile bigger.

  “Wow! I can’t thank you enough.”

 “Well you don’t have to, loving me and keeping me is your only payment to give.”

 Giving her a big kiss Phoenix promised,

  “I always will.”

 That whole next week Phoenix studied just as hard, but with new tactics and ways so she wouldn’t overwork and exhaust herself. Skylar was also there through all of it, helping her read everything more than once until she understood it, as well as having Phoenix recite rules and information by memory. And after every day, Skylar made sure Phoenix had eaten three meals along with snacks and hydrating drinks, as well as taking a refreshing bath or shower, either one she wanted. And Phoenix had felt more successful and productive than ever, she was still very nervous, but more calm and sure this time. 

 The day came for when Phoenix had to take the test, and had driven herself to work that day, because unfortunately Skylar had to work too. But Phoenix did her best to not nibble her fingers, or show any signs of fear, as she took her test diligently and efficiently. After taking it, Maverick told her that she’d get her results by the end of the day, she felt like a college student at the end of a semester, waiting on her professor to grade her most important test of her life. Phoenix wanted to go home for the afternoon and rest as she waited for Skylar to come home so they could go out and eat, but Jake had different plans for Phoenix when he called her. Phoenix picked up the phone as she answered while sounding like if she was talking to her most annoying brother,

  “What the hell do you want Bagman?”

 Jake’s laughter went through as he began,

  “Woah woah Phoenix, relax, I just want us to come over to Hard Deck and get some drinks. I’ll pay for you I promise, and if you bring your girl I’ll take care of her drinks too. Just come here and hang with us.”

 Looking at her watch that ticked ‘5:34’ Phoenix realized that Skylar would be home by ‘6:00’ so she decided that their date for the night would be fine at Hard Deck. What she was confused about though was why Hangman was being so nice and giving, he never really offered to pay for anyone, or anything as such, but once in a while when he actually did, it was good to see and be on that side of him, so she said yes,

  “Alright, sounds good, we’ll see you soon over there then. Thanks Hangman.”

 “Don’t mention it Phoenix, just get here safely and soon.”

 After hanging up Phoenix was quick to dial her girlfriend to tell her the plans, Skylar was quick to pick up and excite Phoenix when she came through,

  “Hi baby! What’s going on? How was your test?”

“Oh it was alright, Maverick hasn’t given me the results yet, so I’m just waiting on that. And uh, I have some plans for tonight, Jake I voted us to go to Hard Deck with everyone, he even offered to over us for the night. Do you think we can make it?”

 Skylar‘a sad sigh was then heard as she said,

  “Awe sweetie I really wanted to leave work early, but right before you called I was going to dial you and tell you that my boss let me know that I needed to cover someone’s shift tonight. I’m so sorry.”

  Phoenix pouted sadly as she was sorta crushed to not have her best friend and girlfriend there with her at Hard Deck, but she was comforted when Skylar said,

  “Don’t worry about me Nixy, you go have fun tonight, my credit card is on my nightstand. Get yourself a cute dress and go with your friends, you deserve it. I’ll be home by midnight for sure. Then tomorrow we can do something fun together. Ok?”

  Feeling confident enough to listen to Skylar’s option, Phoenix replied,

  “Ok, I’ll do that. Thanks baby, I’ll bring home some dinner for you. And I’ll show you my dress too.”

 “Oooo I get a free show and a meal.. it’s a deal, go on baby I need to go. I love you sweetheart.”

 “I love you more mamas, stay safe.”

 “I will.”

 After Phoenix hung up, she got dressed into Skylar’s work sweats and left the house to go buy herself a simple cute dress at the local lady’s store. Once she found the one she really liked and wanted, which was Skylar’s favorite shade of color of red, Phoenix slipped it on after doing her hair and makeup at a near by hair salon, and left for the Hard Deck feeling better about her self. When she arrived, she looked around and saw only Jake’s truck, and thought to herself,

  ‘I thought everyone else was going to be here? Hm, that’s ok... maybe I’ll see them next time.’

Stepping out of her red Jeep, Phoenix then walked up the steps and opened the door waiting to take in the usual soft sound of the music playing around, the echoed laughters that filled corners here and there, even the clinking of beer bottles and glasses, but instead, she walked into loud shouts of the words,

  “SURPRISE!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!”

 Phoenix let out a yelp as she jumped back in surprise, and watched everyone one she knew come into view, all her Navy buddies, Penny and Amelia, and her most favorite person, Skylar. Skylar was quick to take Phoenix into big hug with a kiss as she cheered,

  “I’m so proud of you baby!! You did it!!”

Phoenix pulled back as she scrunched her brows confused,

  “Wait what?”

Maverick then patted Phoenix’s shoulder lovingly as he said,

  “You passed with a perfect score Phoenix, you’re Lieutenant Commander now.”

 Gasping out loud Phoenix jumped happily,

  “Oh my God no way!!! Skylar we did it!!”

 Skylar was quick to correct,

  “No Nix, you did it. I love you baby and I’m so proud of you. All of this is because of you.”

  Phoenix sighed happily as she was pulled into the bar as they began to celebrate with drinks and Penny’s special baked goodies. They all had a good time, and as they enjoyed themselves, Phoenix never let go of Skylar’s hands, relishing in every kiss she was given along with the squeezes of the hand here and there.

 Later that evening, Jake then pulled Phoenix into a big side hug as he said,

  “Well looks like I now got to take someone on a promised short vacation for passing, along with your gorgeous girlfriend.”

 Phoenix saw how he sent Skylar a playfully wink but she immediately pinched his side as she warned him,

  “Back off Bagman, she’s my girl, right mamas?”

 Giving her a cheerful peck Skylar agreed, while looking at Hangman triumphantly afterwards,

  “You’re so right Nix. Now Bagman, where are you taking Lieutenant Commander Phoenix and I?”

[bangtaninborderland]

RISK IT ALL (15)- Secrets.

Genre: Chishiya x f! Reader, angst, fluff, action.

Warning: none!

A:N: this is just a quick update to keep you all invested. And I kind of needed to do this in order to take the story where I envision it going. This story reached number 2 in the Chishiya tag on wattpad and I ADORE EVERYONE WHO READS IT. I really do take so much time to write for you guys. I will be releasing a double chapter tomorrow (either two separate or a super long one) There’s just 5 days until the Witch hunt. Things will change majorly here. Please keep reading, interacting. I appreciate everything and Thankyou all so much! Have an amazing day/night and remember you are all amazing

Ch.14 | Masterlist | Ch.16

It didn’t take you long to find Kuina, she was sitting alone in the restaurant.

She smiled at you as you walked as fast as possible over to her table, the beating Niragi gave you had definitely left a lot of bruising and a lot of aching bones but the information you have is too important to wait.

Her smile faded when she see the look on your face.

“Do you know Arisu?” You ask her out of breath as you sit down at her table.

She pushed her plate aside wiping her hands. “No, should i?”

“We need to find Chishiya.” You stand up pulling her arm.

“I don’t know where he is.” She mumbled swallowing her last bit of food.

“Let me take my plate, go look in his room I’ll meet you there.” She says nodding towards the door with a smile.

“Okay.” Your walk turns to a small limp as the desperation to find Kuina wears off.

You don’t get far before she is by your side. “Okay so tell me about Arisu.”

“Okay so we played a few games together. Chishiya was in one too. They are just brought into the beach, they had bags on their heads and then hatter told me to get out. He was with this girl usagi, I think they work together to clear games.” You explain as you enter the elevator and press the button to the floor Chishiyas room is on.

“If they took him to the executives room then Chishiya would have gone too?” She questions turning to face you.

“I watched them go in, Chishiya wasn’t there.” You shrug your shoulders.

Kuina links her arm around yours as you exit the elevator. The walk to Chishiyas room is short and you was thankful for that, you didn’t bother knocking before walking in, Kuina following behind you.

Kuina rolled her eyes as she walked in, noticing he wasn’t there.

“The roof?” You ask and she nods.

“You stay here I’ll go check, besides you should be resting.” She gives you a serious look that makes you chuckle.

You sit on the bed facing the windows, remembering last nights conversation. If this man was one thing it’s confusing. You wanted to care for him and the desire for him to care for you was strong but every time you get to see him you end up more sad then the last.

The door opens, you don’t bother looking around for Kuina knowing she will sit by your side.

“You was quick.” You mumbled.

“Was I?” You jumped at the sound of Chishiyas voice.

Your face flushed a light shade of pink and you cursed your body for betraying you.

You stood up walking towards the door. “I thought you was Kuina.”

Kuina walked in the door and you felt relieved that she was here to distract you from Chishiyas attention.

“That’s Kuina.” He smirked lightly and you flashed him your middle finger.

“Awwww.. anyway.” Kuina laughed. “Tell him about Arisu.”

“I know. They came here today. I see it happen.” He shrugged unbothered.

“And you didn’t find it necessary to tall me?”Kuina rolled her eyes annoyed sitting on Chishiyas bed.

It didn’t bother you that Kuina and Chishiya were close, if you could even call them that, it bothered you that Kuina seemed to have an understanding of him that you didn’t. It’s not that you didn’t try to understand him it’s that every time you tried to try to understand him he just got more confusing.

“I think you will like him, he will be good for my plan. To get the cards. He is useful. Naive. Trusting.” Chishiya fumbled around with the taser he usually takes to games before placing it on the desk behind him.

“I thought I was supposed to get the cards..” you ask confused.

“I told you I didn’t need you for it anymore.” Chishiya glances over to you and his words hurt. You wanted to leave the room right then and there but you knew with Kuina there it wouldn’t be right.

“It’s nice to know that you think I was naive and trusting.” You scoff at him.

He chuckled in a snobby way before responding. “I didn’t think you was naive and trusting, I think you are naive and trusting. That’s simply all there it so it.”

Kuina looked over to you with apologetic eyes and you stood there silent not having anything else to contribute. No matter what you did Chishiya would always look down on you. And you hated it.

“So Arisu will take the cards?” Kuina asks “I want to meet him.”

Chishiya opens his mouth to answer her but you cut him off before he can speak.

“Is it because I’m not strong enough? Because I can’t handle it? Because if that’s the case I can leave. Chishiya if I’m not good enough to be apart of your plan then that is fine but I am getting out of this hellhole with or without you.” Your voice sounds confident and right now you need that.

You wasn’t stupid you knew Chishiya would stop at nothing to get those cards, he would get out and no one could stop him and he didn’t care what he had to do to leave. It was better to be apart of his plan and leave with him than try to survive without him .

“It’s not that at all. Your feelings make you more reachable. You can get hurt easier.” He crossed the room and sat on the bed much closer to you than Kuina. . You didn’t bother moving.

“Kuina, we will meet tonight, I will bring Arisu if he lives and you can see him for yourself.” He lays down on the bed a deep breath being released as he did.

“Okay. I’m going to the pool. It’s a nice day today.” She stands up and looks over towards you.

“I’ll be there in a moment I’m going to head back to my room and take some painkillers.” You smile at her and she nods. Leaving the room.

“Chishiya why can’t I be enough for you? You have to feel something you can’t just be this empty.” You sigh laying down. Your head meeting his.

“We agreed you wouldn’t change me and I wouldn’t do the same to you. I’ve let you do your thing, whatever that may be, but don’t try and look for some redeeming qualities because i do not believe in feelings. We are not made to love. We are taught to.” He lets out an annoyed sigh and you decide to leave the conversation alone.

“I’m going to my room.” You mumble standing up walking towards the door of Chishiyas room.

“To take your painkillers?” He hums. His body still.

“Don’t pretend you care.” You open the door and you see him sit up.

Every time you are with Chishiya you leave in a bad way, soon enough he will be gone with the cards and if you don’t leave with him anything you have with him will be gone too.

Maybe it was the irritating pain in your stomach or the irritating man behind you but something inside of you changed, you wouldn’t be afraid of your own feelings and you would be weakened in spite of them.

You turned around and walked back towards Chishiya, his head turns to face and you don’t want to waste another second. You placed your hands onto his face and before he could react you pushed your lips against his. The kiss lasted half a second before he backed away. He didn’t kiss you back and your newfound confidence has slowly disintegrated to a crippling embarrassment.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, you want to run but your legs don’t even seem to remember how to walk.

“Next time maybe warn me before you do that?” He stands up and walks into the restroom closing the door behind him.

You don’t hesitate to take the opportunity, you force your legs to move and despite the searing pain roaring within your stomach you make it to your room in a matter of seconds.

You Instantly take three painkillers and let your body collapse on the bed, your face flushes red as you replay the kiss.

You had never been one to just do things, after your sister died life didn’t have much meaning, living was just the necessities. Friends weren’t something you had in abundance and in all honesty it wasn’t something you needed. So what on earth, or hell, Convinced you to kiss someone who has made it clear thousands of times that he doesn’t want you?

You pick up the pillow underneath your hand and let it cover your mouth, screaming into it. It didn’t help but you needed some way to release all of your lent up anger.

After 20 minuets of continuous overthinking the pain had begun to subside and you decided not to make Kuina wait any longer. You threw on a light jacket and walked towards the elevators.

You was thankful not to bump into anyone you knew, you didn’t want to see Chishiya and small talk wasn’t something you could handle. However, you wasn’t entirely displeased when you walked into someone as you was exiting the elevator.

“Arisu?” You mumbled and he looked towards you.

“It’s you!” He sounded surprised.

“Yeah, I found the beach. It’s not the worst place to be.” You shrug your shoulders.

“Would you like to eat with me?” He asks you can tell he is wary of you but you brush it aside. Everyone at the beach was a little weird. The least you could do was be welcoming.

“Sure! The restaurant area is this way.” He nods his head and you begin walking.

“You got hurt?” He asks, he sounds genuinely concerned.

You gave him a short smile before explaining the incident to him. “I was at a game and one of the militant members was mad because they got hurt and they thought it was my fault.”

“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice only grew.

You nodded your head and changed the direction of the conversation, everyone was always worried about you and you didn’t want that to always be the situation.

“So where’s Usagi?” You was genuinely interested to hear his answer and he seemed excited about that.

“She’s just exploring.” His usually upbeat voice dropped to a low mumble when he see the food.

“I know it’s not great but it’s better than nothing. Stay away from the omelette rolls.” You laugh remembering the day you and Chishiya sat together.

He makes a disgusted face and you head over towards a table, Arisu following behind you.

“Your friend didn’t make it did he?” You mumble the question, knowing how sensitive it is.

His face grew sad and you knew the answer. “At least he is in a better place, he doesn’t have to live in disparity like us.” You try to fix the situation but the conversation seems somber.

You eat in silence for a while but You’re thankful when he begins to talk again..

“What about you, who do you have?” He asks. You don’t plan on giving him any vital information, for some reason you wanted to show Chishiya that you wasn’t weakened by emotions.

“I have a few friends, no one special. After all forming bonds here isn’t always the smartest.” You cringed at the way you sounded much like Chishiya.

“You’re wrong. Usagi saved me. I found her because of the boderlands.” You smile at him as he stands up taking the plate to the trash. You follow behind him.

“So what are you doing at the beach?” You keep your voice blunt.

“I think I can leave here with the beach.” He sounds confident but shaky.

Talking with Arisu was eye opening. You was with him the same was Chishiya was with you. You could understand why. You didn’t want to see people hurt but self survival comes first and If it came between Arisu and you, you would chose yourself, the same way you did with Hana.

“What’s your specialty?” You both walk around the halls aimlessly, you don’t hate the idea of talking to Arisu.

“Hearts…” he whispers the words, almost ashamed.

You knew the pain that came along with the hearts game. You felt for Arisu. He came here with a friend and although he has Usagi although he has no ties to the outside world he was alone here. The only difference between you and Arisu was the fact that the person he cared for cared for him back, or at least enough to risk her life coming here.

The day with Arisu was spent well, after a few hours or so talking he decided he should go and find Usagi. You watched in awe as he excitedly run of to find her. You yearned to be wanted so badly but you wouldn’t admit it to yourself.

“Hey you!” Kuina shouted excitedly as you walked towards her.

“Have you been here all day?” You ask referring too the pool. The sky had began to turn to a dark crimson as the sun set.

“Its been amazing. Where have you been all day?” She asks standing up from her sun bed.

“I was with Arisu.” You say proudly.

“So he lived, what did you find out?“ she sits back down her face focused, you could see how it interested she was.

You sat down next to her and began explaining everything he had told you, he had explained a few of his prior games and his journey to the beach. He told you small details about his friends and all about Usagi.

It didn’t take long to get Kuina up to speed with the information you had taken from Arisu yet she clung to every word.

“I’m even more interested to meet him now. Can I get you a drink?” You laugh at the way she changes the subject so easily.

“Yes please, water though I took pills.” You explain.

She laughs as she shakes her head. “You know you shouldn’t be worried about drinking some alcohol.”

You roll your eyes at Kuinas comment and turn you attention towards the partying.

“You know Kuina, talking with Arisu helped me understand Chishiya a little more.” You lightly shouted over the music.

“Speak of the devil and he shall come!” She pointed behind you and you turned slowly to see a face you would of happily avoided.

Chishiya.

“It’s rare to see you here.” You whisper loudly to him as he comes closer towards you.

“I can only observe so much from the roof.” His voice sounds displeased and you wonder what he see that annoyed him.

You all turn your heads to the opposite side of the pool where a sudden commotion had begin.

You could see Niragi shouting at someone but it wasn’t visible who he was shouting at as a small crowd had gathered around them.

You was surprised to see Arisu step forward from the crowd.

Whatever they was arguing about it was Niragis fault. It was Always Niragis fault. The arguing goes on for a while before Aguni intervenes however he doesn’t go to lengths to stop it.

“He must be important if Hatter is here.” You mumble to Chishiya as Hatter emerges from the crowd.

He grunts at your comment and you turn your attention back to the scene in front of you. It doesn’t take long for it to come to an end once Hatter gets involved. No one goes against Hatter. The self proclaimed King.

You listened carefully in to Chishiya and Kuinas conversation.

“What do you think?” You hear him as her the words faint.

“I like him.” She smiles nodding towards Arisu.

“Good, now we have our plan. He will take the cards. We won’t need anyone else.” His words cut you like a knife and you quietly back away from the crowd.

Your mind flashed back to the day when Kuina and Chishiya had been talking in the private room about you. This was worse.

Chishiya knew you was there and he still didn’t care, he still excluded you, like you was nothing.

You heard Kuina calling your name from behind you but you didn’t stop moving. You rushed into the elevator and closed the doors behind you before she could catch up. You wanted to be alone.

Chishiya didn’t care and he never would and you hated yourself for thinking he did. He would leave here without you in a second.

Tears began strolling down your face as you practically run down the hall towards your room. Once you was inside you threw yourself in the bed, ignoring the pain it caused and let the tears run freely.

Your mind was so focused on Chishiya and the way he could hurt you that you didn’t even realise when Kuina had walked into your room until she began to speak.

“Why are you crying?” Her voice was full of sympathy, you felt her sit on the bed but you didn’t turn to face her.

“Chishiya really doesn’t care about me. I heard your conversation at the pool.” You whisper the words not wanting to relive them any longer.

“You really don’t understand Chishiya at all do you?” She asks laying down beside you, her hand playing with your hair the same way a moms would.

“You know today for a moment when I was talking with Arisu I truly believed I did. But not anymore. I was so stupid to convince myself he cared.” You sob lightly into the blanket you have pulled up towards your face.

“He does care that’s why he isn’t letting you do this. We spoke about this before remember the last time you thought this.” She sighed apologetically.

“I do but this is different.” You wipe your face turning towards her.

“No it’s not. If he didn’t want you to leave with him he wouldn’t even let you near him. You know he cares about you and so does he you just have to make him admit it. He will get annoyed and argue back but if you don’t do something before he leaves the beach, before we leave the beach, you may never get the chance to again.” She smiles at you her fingers resuming their movement in your hair.

“How do I make him want me Kuina.” You ask desperately.

“You foolish girl, he already wants you. He is just to afraid to have you.” Her hand wipes away a stray tear.

You lay there thinking about her words.

Soon the chance would be gone Kuina was right about that. The plan could take place the second Arisu decides. Chishiya may hate you after this, he may love you. But you was sure on one thing. You would make it so he could never forget you. Even if it’s the last thing you did.

Tomorrow you would wake up and ask Chishiya to breakfast. And if he said no you would drag him there. He said he would let you care for him so now that’s what you will do. Care for him every second of the day from when he opens his eyes in the morning to when he goes sleep.

You would be unforgettable, the same way he is.

[crsjunkyard]

January Embers (Part 5)

The Sun Also Rises Series (ao3), Momentous Beginnings, A Study In Pink, January Embers (1), (2), (3), (4)

Ugh- this took so much longer than I wanted it to because my internet is out. But its okay because this is the longest chapter yet, weighing in at a whopping 6k. Also oopsies we're doing seven parts instead of six.

I will be indicating explicit sections to make them easily skippable, in this chapter the explicit sections are a bit more tame than in the coming sections. The start of an explicit section is indicated by a double line break like this: ******* *******

The conclusion of an explicit section is indicated by a triple line break ******* ******* *******

Length: 6k

Summary: How much longer can the two of you dance around each other before something gives?

******* *******

Viktor was in a frenzy.

The sound of running water drowned out the steady pounding in his ears. He stood there under the stream, long legs buckled- leaning heavily into the smooth shower wall. Cool porcelain against his back contrasted the steam swirling through the air, intensifying the buzz of pleasure already coursing through his veins.

He’d been dreaming about you, flashes of skin and heat and impossibly dark eyes.

You were on top of him, slowly circling your hips in a teasing motion- looking down with a predatory glint in your heated gaze.

Every time he would reach out- needing desperately to touch you, his hands would be batted away. After enough of these attempts, you pinned them above his head, leaning down so that warm breath ghosted over his sensitive neck.

“If you want to touch-” words punctuated by a tight squeeze on his immobile wrists. “You’re going to have to ask nicely,” you demanded, voice sultry and smooth- like silk spilling from your lips.

He woke alone, covered in a thin sheen of sweat- and dangerously close to coming in his pants. This wasn’t a time where he could focus on deep breaths for a few minutes and power through, he needed to get somewhere fast.

Quiet chopping sounds came from the kitchen, and Viktor decided to make a break for the bathroom, muttering a quick good morning to you on the way.

Now his head was thrown back, eyes closed tightly as he thrust into the snug canal of his closed fist. A visual loop of you running through his mind's eye. You in that pink dress- your naked body pressed against his bare chest- you fresh out of the shower wrapped in a skimpy towel- your hands stroking across the skin of his calf.

Switching to slow teasing strokes, he began to flick his wrist ever so slightly- thumb catching on his swollen head, spreading around the steady wetness that leaked from his cock in thick droplets.

He shoved a clenched fist between his teeth, trying to muffle the soft moans threatening to escape his throat. The last thing I need is for her to hear me.

The thought had the opposite effect he’d hoped for, and now he imagined that you could hear him. That you were listening in as he pleasured himself to the thought of you.

It was enough to make his vision go white, limbs locking up as intense waves of bliss washed over him. He came in thick spurts, not ceasing the steady stroking until he felt raw and used- enjoying the sharp edge of oversensitivity.

Viktor tried to regain his bearings, sticking his flushed face under the steady flow of water, breath still coming in heavy pants.

Something had shifted, it was almost imperceptible- but nonetheless, it was there. Ever since you’d wrapped around him from behind, placing that burning kiss to the side of his neck. There was a newfound tension in the air, a thick haze that settled around the two of you- charging your every interaction.

A breaking point was coming, Viktor felt it in his bones.

He finished washing up, lathering himself in lightly scented bubbles. A bit of the unbearable heat had abated, but he was still feeling frustrated and unfulfilled.

There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that you wanted him, not anymore. Now the two of you were playing a dangerous game of chicken, toeing at a line that got fainter each day.

*******

Smack, smack, smack

Your knife came down in even strokes as you roughly chopped at a small pile of roasted nuts. Maybe you slammed it a bit harder than was necessary, but it wasn’t your fault, you had a lot of pent up frustration to work out.

Every time you looked at Viktor’s pretty face a sharp ache pierced through your body. It didn’t matter what he was doing, somehow, someway- you would get turned on.

He was writing in his journal, slender fingers tightly gripping the pen as words flowed onto the page- you couldn’t help but wonder, what would those talented digits feel like inside you?

That little flutter of his eyelids, followed by a pleased humm of enjoyment when he took his first bite of something you’d cooked- how many other noises could you pull from him if you had the chance? How sweetly would he whimper your name?

Smack, smack, smack

Sometimes- during research, his honeyed eyes would grow dark and stormy, full of intensity and passion. What you wouldn't give to be the subject of those passions, to be pinned underneath that fierce gaze- to be completely at his mercy.

But then again, you remembered all the times he’d come to help you in the kitchen- so eager to learn, so ready to take instruction. He was good too, so good at following every step you’d laid out for him. Would he like to be at your mercy? Would he want to be told how to please you- told what a good boy he was for you-

Smack, smack, thunk

You swore loudly as the sharp edge of your blade sliced through the meat of your palm.

******* ******* ********

Viktor had just pulled on his pants when he heard you yell, a loud and sharp curse followed by quiet muttering. He hurried from the bathroom to come check on you- still damp and without a shirt.

He saw you standing in front of the counter, holding a rag to the center of your palm- deep crimson slowly saturating the soft blue cloth. You looked at him, trying to give a casual shrug but wincing in pain as it jostled your hand.

Although you weren’t in quite enough pain to ignore the breathtaking sight of a freshly showered shirtless Viktor, easily distracted by the creamy expanse of lightly muscled skin.

Viktor watched your eyes glaze over as they roamed his exposed torso, tongue darting out to lick your lips, looking at him like a freshly baked lemon tart. You were unbelievable, absolutely incorrigible- it would be amusing if you weren’t about to drip blood all over the kitchen floor.

“You must be kidding- keep pressure on that,” he commanded, reaching into a corner cabinet to retrieve the medkit.

“Oh, since when do we have that,” you said in surprise.

“Since the fried mushroom incident,” he responded dryly, pulling out a bit of gauze and antiseptic.

“Ah- good call,” you clenched your teeth as he removed the cloth, gently cleaning the shallow cut with tender swipes. He wrapped it methodically, gauging your face for any lingering pain.

“There- good as new,” he cradled your injured palm gently, giving you a soft smile.

“Thank you, sorry about the blood,” you apologized sheepishly.

“Just be more careful, I don’t like to see you in pain,” he said earnestly, still cupping your hand.

It would never cease to amaze you, how easily he said those words. Those words that meant the world to you- that you would echo back a thousand and one times.

“I will,” you promised, eyes doing a brief sweep for blood before moving back towards the cutting board to finish breakfast.

“Ah- what do you think you’re doing?” he questioned, moving to stand between you and the countertop.

“Finishing breakfast,” you spoke slowly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“I do not think so- solnishka, you just cut yourself,” he gave an exasperated eye roll, moving to pick up a clean knife. “I believe I am capable of finishing morning oats, you can guide me.”

Your knees went weak at his suggestion, Is he doing this on purpose?

Despite your lowered reasoning capacity, breakfast was finished quickly. Viktor was good with his hands, completing your work with easy knife strokes- adding the dried fruits and a few spoonful's extra than your recommended amount of honey to the softly cooked oats.

He filled two large bowls, looking up at you fondly before reaching into the cupboard and adding a heavy sprinkle of cinnamon to yours.

Is it possible to love someone so much it hurts? you wondered, feeling like your heart was in a vice.

The two of you settled comfortably across from each other at your small table.

“Thank you for breakfast, zoloste.”

You winced as soon as the endearment left your mouth, it sounded much less romantic than when you’d practiced it in the market.

Viktor watched your expression turn sour, stifling a laugh at the clumsy way your mouth formed the vowels, coming out stretched in all the wrong places.

“Ugh- don’t laugh at me I can’t take it,” you hung your head, palms over your eyes.

“No- no- no- I am sorry, I was merely surprised,” he soothed, reaching out to tilt up your chin. “How about we practice together, yes?”

You nodded, still wanting to learn how- and knowing you were being a touch dramatic.

“I will start slowly, so you can hear the particular inflections easily, then we will speed up so that you are comfortable using it conversationally.”

So long as it is only ever spoken for me, he wanted to add.

He was in full professor mode, working through things slowly- being patient when you became frustrated, but never sugarcoating what needed to be corrected. In no time the diminutive was rolling off your lips with practiced ease.

“Thanks for the lesson, zoloste, although I still think it sounds better when you say it.”

You loved watching his mouth move, seeing the unique way his lips would curl- stressing vowels, gliding over consonants. It was positively mesmerizing.

“What did I do to earn a look such as that?” he questioned coyly, somewhat confused by the appreciative way you were gazing at his lips.

“I just- I like it, your accent I mean,” you admitted through a mouthful of oats.

Oh, that was a surprise.

“Really? You- enjoy the way I talk?” he asked, a shadow of doubt tugging at his features.

“What? Is that hard to believe?” you were curious.

It was hard for him to believe, the way he spoke was just another signal to others that he was abnormal- that he was lesser- that he was to be avoided.

“Let me just say this, others are not always kind to those who are different- this is a familiar topic of discussion, no?”

His nonchalance was betrayed by the sadness in his eyes, a window to old wounds- wounds you wished desperately to heal with loving words and tender kisses.

“We’ve already established, I like you just the way you are, wouldn’t change a thing even if I could,” you said firmly, needing him to know the words were true.

“Really- because I recall a particularly heated moment where- and correct me if I am mistaken, you said Why are you like this, I can’t ever forgive you.”

He’s baiting me, I know he’s baiting me-

“Viktor, that doesn’t count,” you exclaimed, crossing your arms. “It was after you’d said you didn’t like my gingersnaps!”

“Cookies should not be spicy, it isn’t right,” he shot you a sassy look, standing to clear off the table before disappearing into the kitchen.

******

Viktor sat at the foot of the bed, straightening his tie before neatly lacing his shoes.

“What’re you all dressed up for,” you questioned. Really he wasn’t dressed up- just dressed, but you were still in pajamas.

“Jayce and I have a meeting with Professor Heimerdinger.”

“I thought labs were meant to be shut down all week?” you asked in confusion.

“Yes- well, he insisted it was more of an informal meeting, that he just had something brief to discuss with us,” Viktor shrugged on the heavy winter coat hanging by the door before continuing. “He also wanted to take a look at our most recent notes- we have a rough idea on how to control the teleportation fluctuations, perhaps stabilizing a gateway from a chosen location.”

“Would be good for trade, I suppose that’s what it’s intended for,” you commented with narrowed eyes.

“Eh- there were a few concessions made on how the end result would be used, my stipulations being that they are used just as much to improve undercity infrastructure as they are to line the pockets of councilors,” he spoke the words proudly.

“That's great! Did you bring up the waste disposal idea- I think that would be a better place to start? I mean- pollution is the number one cause of all health problems for the entire city, no use tackling malnourishment if everybody is dying of smog inhalation.”

He loved listening to you talk about research, you were so uniquely practical yet able to think of the most unexpected solutions. She is going to make a brilliant addition- if it is what she wants.

“Yes, I believe that was at the top of the list,” he assured.

“Good luck, and tell them both I said hello,” you moved to wrap your arms around his neck- hugging him goodbye.

“Of course,” he responded, leaving a quick kiss on your forehead before heading out into the snow.

The door shut behind him, and suddenly the prospect of a bit of alone time in the apartment was all too appealing.

******* *******

Viktor made it halfway there before realizing he’d forgotten something important- the specific notes Professor Heimerdinger had wanted to take a look at.

They really were necessary, so he’d have to double back. He wasn’t fond of being late- but it couldn’t be avoided. Oh well, it’s winter shutdown anyways.

Walking back at as fast a pace as his leg would allow, he hurriedly threw open the door, intent on finding his notes quickly.

He froze- mouth going dry.

You were on the bed, freshly showered judging by the damp tangles of your hair- and completely nude.

One arm stretched above your head, tightly fisted into bunched sheets. Legs spread invitingly wide, fingers slowly sliding through your wet folds. Your eyes were shut tightly, and you let out the sweetest little groans of pleasure.

Viktor stood there silently, too shocked by the sight before him to know what to do. Obviously he couldn’t keep standing here, watching while you were unaware- but gods was he just to clear his throat and say, Excuse me- sorry for the interruption, I forgot my notebook.

Then you said it- softly, but loud enough that he could not mistake it for anything else.

“Mmm- Viktor please,” slowly sliding a wet finger inside yourself.

The words caused him to let out a strangled groan, feeling all the blood in his body rush southward. Alerted by the sound, your eyes shot open, legs snapping closed in panic.

“Viktor,” you squeaked out, in a decidedly less pleased voice than from moments ago.

“I forgot my notes,” the words rushed shakily from his lips as he stood there- still stuck in place.

To say you were mortified would be an understatement, of all the ways you’d imagined Viktor finally seeing you spread out across the covers- this wasn’t one of them. Oh gods, how long was he there, did he hear what I said?

“You said my name,” he blurted, amber eyes wide in astonishment. Okay, he definitely heard what I said.

“Uh- well I- uhm,” you stuttered, the weight of his gaze scrambling all coherency.

“Why did you say my name?” The question came out before he could stop himself.

Viktor knew why, he was no fool- but some hungry and wanting desire within him needed to hear you say the words aloud. Some piece of him that still clung on to that last shred of insecurity, that maybe there was a chance he’d been reading things all wrong.

“Really, Viktor?” you snapped, finding your voice again. “You’re supposed to be a genius, I’m sure you can figure it out for yourself,” you shot him a skeptical look.

He simply shrugged, waiting to see if you would confirm his hopeful suspicions.

“I was thinking about you, okay?” you mumbled quietly.

Hearing you say it aloud punched the air from his lungs, he wanted nothing more than to cross the short distance separating you. Perhaps settle in the space between your legs that had earlier been spread so enticingly.

“You were thinking about me? While you- err, while you were-”

“Yes!” you shouted. “Okay? YES, would you like me to say it again?”

“I would not be opposed to hearing…” his cheeky remark was cut off as you forcefully threw a pillow his way, looking even more enchanting as you scowled up at him.

“I am sorry for interrupting your, eh- private moment. I will grab my notes and leave you to continue.”

You watched him go, belatedly realizing you’d never bothered to cover up during the entire interaction. Did that really just happen?

As panic subsided, you couldn't help but replay the dark quirk of his lips, that devilishly sneaky little comment- the way his eyes shamelessly wandered your exposed form. You liked the thought of being the only one he looked at like that- of being the only one who would get the absolute pleasure of taking him apart.

Meanwhile, Viktor walked to his meeting in a daze. Wondering how he could ever look at the bed again without seeing you, gloriously naked- legs spread in invitation.

******* ******* *******

Jayce waited in the Professor's office, becoming more worried as the minutes ticked by. It was not like Viktor to be late, and unheard of for him to be late for a meeting with someone such as Heimerdinger.

Finally he arrived- looking a bit ruffled, explaining that he’d had to go back for a particular set of notes.

Jayce couldn't put his finger on it, but something had changed in his partner. It was always the eyes that gave Viktor away. Talented as he may be at controlling his body language or carefully schooling his expressions- Viktor’s eyes held a certain gleam that couldn't be stifled.

“Not a problem, I appreciate you going back for them,” the Professor thanked, setting the journal down on his desk.

“Now, down to business,” he looked up at the young researchers excitedly. “I have some good new for you boys, in light of the recent Hextech breakthroughs the council has decided to fund a new lab- much larger than the one you’re occupying now.”

The boys looked at each other in surprise, Jayce reacting first- reaching to wrap an excited arm around Viktor’s shoulders, giving him a tight squeeze.

“That’s amazing news!” Jayce began babbling. “Where is the new lab? Oh and when are we moving? I wonder how much we’ll be able to do with more space?”

“Are there strings attached?” Viktor asked bluntly, he wasn’t Jayce- he couldn’t afford to have a trusting nature, not when there was so much at stake.

Heimerdinger looked at Viktor appraisingly, as if he was seeing him for the first time. “No, my boy, the conditions outlined in our previous meeting still stand, all of the conditions,” he said meaningfully.

“Then, that is indeed excellent news,” a small smile graced Viktor’s lips.

“-And of course with the new lab comes attached living quarters, should you choose to use them- they are quite spacious” the Professor added offhandedly.

Viktor’s mind immediately went to you. Things had just settled down, the both of you were happy in your little apartment. But he could finally give you more, a proper home the two of you could grow into- build a life together. Would you want to move? If you didn’t he would stay put, simple as that.

Jayce watched Viktor closely, easily guessing that it was you on his mind- he was probably overthinking things. Jayce knew you would be thrilled, knew that you’d be happy to accompany them. But- wait, surely somebody must know by now that you were tagging along- spending most of your time in a private high priority academy research lab was a fairly obvious tip off?

He really needed to have a private discussion with Viktor after this meeting.

“Oh and before I forget, you boys have been invited to the academy's private winter cocktail party- it seems there are more than a few individuals eager to see the faces behind the revolution of Hextech.”

Oh, that would be interesting. Viktor had never attended, even in all his years working closely with the professor- and Jayce wouldn't have been either as the guest list was fairly exclusive.

“Thank you Professor, we look forward to seeing you there,” Jayce said warmly.

“You as well my boy, and each of you are more than welcome to bring a guest of your own,” he happily offered, once again sliding his gaze to Viktor meaningfully.

“Well I think that concludes our business- thank you for dropping by on such short notice,” both men moved to leave, halfway out the door before the professor spoke up. “Viktor, if I could have a quick word?”

Jayce sent Viktor a look that screamed, we will be talking about this later, before shutting the door behind him.

Viktor stood there, waiting to hear what the Professor had to say.

“Have you had a chance to think about my proposal? I know the news I’ve just delivered may need to be discussed before you come to a decision?”

“Yes, but before I ask her I’ll need to discuss it with Jayce- just to make certain,” Viktor responded.

“Very well, that sounds like a good idea- but I’d like an answer by the end of winter shutdown.” Heimerdinger knew it would not do well to put off a conversation as important as this one.

“You’ll have one,” he assured, leaving the office with a bit of nervous energy buzzing through his mind.

He half expected to see Jayce waiting by the door to grill him for information, and upon rounding the corner his suspicions were confirmed.

“What was that about,” he immediately began an onslaught of questioning.

“There is much we must discuss,” he admitted. “I need to pick up a few things at the library, walk with me?”

*******

Viktor walked into the library with a newfound sense of purpose. His conversation with Jayce had gone wonderfully- and all that was left was to talk to you. But he had a few things to take care of first.

He was a scientist at heart- and when taking a risk, nothing was more important than minimizing the unknown. After today, Viktor realized there was a glaring gap in his education that was becoming increasingly pressing.

Sure, he had a rudimentary knowledge of anatomy, but that wasn’t enough. He wanted more than anything to reduce you to a pile of desperation and quivering nerves- to show you in the most intimate of ways how deep his love ran.

There was no shortage of things he’d wished to do after seeing you spread across the bed this morning, an endless flood of ideas that became more indecent by the minute. But he lacked experience and all its accompanying knowledge- although it wasn’t something he necessarily felt embarrassed about.

In his mind- this was right, this was how things were meant to be. How could he ever want anyone who wasn’t you?

So here he was, darting from aisle to aisle in the public library- an arm full of texts regarding female pleasure. Not even the judgmental look from the desk clerk could dampen his spirits, simply smiling and wishing her a pleasant evening on his way out.

*******

You were perched on the couch reading when Viktor finally got home- and your eyes zeroed in on his slower than usual pace. It had been a rather strenuous day, and although he looked nothing short of happy- you knew his leg must be bothering him.

“Come sit- and pants off, you can tell me about your meeting while I work.”

He complied easily, this had become somewhat of a routine whenever you noticed him walking stiffly. Stripping out of his trousers, he sat next to you on the sofa- allowing you to pull his leg into your lap.

“Jayce and I have been invited to the private academy cocktail party,” he started, watching you begin above the juncture of his knee.

“Oh, that’s a big deal- you guys will have the chance to meet a lot of important figures there- really start cementing the future of Hextech,” you responded, knowing how important networking would start to become as their research grew.

“I would like you to accompany me,” he asked, feeling your hands pause in their movements.

“Really? Is that allowed?” you questioned, and he could see a glimpse of excitement in your eyes.

“Yes, it is allowed” he chuckled. “And I really would have a dreadful time without you there, so I hope you’ll come,” and how could you say anything but yes when he batted those long lashes at you so sweetly.

“Of course I’ll go, I love a good party,” you said happily, finishing up at his ankle with firm swirls of your thumbs.

Gods he loved it when you touched him, you offered your touch so freely- it was intoxicating. The gentle massages- the soft way you would cling to him in your sleep- every time he left, no matter how long he would be gone, you pulled him into a snug farewell embrace.

“Excellent,” he beamed radiantly. “Caitlin will be by tomorrow with some dresses.”

“You knew I’d say yes, huh?” you raise a teasing brow at him.

“I may have had a small inkling,” he confirmed, oozing self-satisfaction.

Should he broach earlier's incident? Perhaps not since you seemed perfectly at ease, not interested in bringing it up yourself. It didn’t matter, he had studying to do after all.

“I’m gonna go make cream horns,” you informed him, ruffling his hair on your way to the kitchen.

Viktor settled comfortably on the couch, getting to work on the pile of books tucked in his satchel, it would be an informative evening.

*******

Jayce had shown up much too early that morning to drag Viktor off for a suit fitting, apparently the boys didn’t have anything up to par for the party either.

Now you nervously paced the fence bordering the Kiramman estate, waiting for Cait to come out and meet you- two boxes of cream horns stacked precariously in your grip.

This was a daunting prospect, how many gowns could she possibly have? You’d asked Jayce that question this morning, after he’d said Cait was expecting you at her place midday, and he had merely laughed- giving you a short good luck.

“Good, you made it!” you looked up to see her unlatching the gate, smiling in amusement at the boxes you toted.

“Of course, it’s kind of hard to miss,” you joked, nodding toward the massive building.

“Here let me help you,” she reached for a box, signaling for you to follow. “You know, you really don’t have to do this,” Cait held up the pastries meaningfully.

“And you didn’t have to help me with finding a dress, or replacing all my clothing,” you countered with a smile.

“Alright fair enough,” she shrugged. “Thanks though, these are really good.”

“I did some chocolate ones this time as well, let me know what you think,” you asked her eagerly.

Entering into a spacious foyer, she led you up the sprawling staircase and down a maze of halls, before finally turning a finely adorned handle. The room you entered was filled with mirrors, a few mannequins styled in lavish gowns- and closet doors lining either wall.

Cait kicked off her shoes before unceremoniously taking a large bite of the chocolate cream filled horn, letting out a loud noise of enjoyment.

“Ugh- are you sure you’re in love with that scrawny scientist, because damn these are good,” she flirted playfully.

You smacked a palm to your forehead, groaning in frustration. “Does everyone know? It seems like everyone has talked about this besides Viktor and I.”

“The two of you have all the subtlety of Jayce holding a neon sign,” she teased, covering the pastries before moving to open one of the closet doors.

“Yeah well subtle was never really my strong suit,” you grumbled, eyeing the rows of dresses nervously. Caitlin watched your trepidation with unmasked amusement.

“It may surprise you to hear, but I’m actually a hopeless romantic- so how could I pass up the opportunity to find you the perfect dress to confess your undying love in,” she swooned dramatically, making you let out a light snort. “Besides, I have to go to this stupid gala every year, at least now I’ll actually have people I like to talk to.”

You caught a glimpse of something under her confident façade, something sad. It must have been lonely- all these years stuck at parties, surrounded by very few friends and too many expectations.

“What should I expect?” you asked, watching her flit from closet to closet grabbing different gowns.

“Don’t worry, people are going to judge you no matter what- so you might as well be yourself,” she responded bluntly, something you’d always appreciated about her.

“That bad, huh?”

“They’re vicious and cruel, not much else to do besides gossip and grab for power when you’re already at the top,” she said the words conversationally, pulling out different pairs of shoes from various cupboards.

“I’m glad to be going then, I don’t think the boys really understand what they’ve started- what they’re research means,” you paused, trying to find the right words to express your concern. “I have this sinking feeling that… to people at the gala, they’re just tools to be controlled- or assets to be appraised,” the thought was enough to spark venom in your veins.

“Good, you get it then. The boys think this is just a party- too blinded by their love of the research to understand the political nuances, Jayce more so than Viktor. Tomorrow night will be about standing our ground, cementing our places to the others as part of their inner circle.”

She finally finished moving about the room, turning to you with a serious gaze.

“Jayce is their shiny new icon, Viktor is sliding under the radar- he’s easily overlooked when Jayce fits their golden boy archetype so perfectly,” you felt the disdain dripping from her every word.

“I think Viktor will have made a few waves by now, after insisting that the new Hextech developments be used to improve undercity infrastructure,” you countered, feeling the information was important to share.

“Even better,” she hissed sarcastically. “Instead of a nonentity he’s become a threat, then people will certainly be trying to drive a wedge between them- probably thinking Jayce might be more easily swayed by the limelight.”

“We won’t let that happen,” you responded fiercely, gripping her hand in your own.

“They’re lucky to have us,” she gave you a rueful smile. “Now, I already know which dress you’re going to wear- but let's try a few on anyways for fun.”

*******

“This is ridiculous, it’s too many pieces,” Jayce grumbled from the changing room.

“You’re the one who was so very excited by the invitation, this is all part of the high-society charm,” Viktor shot back, waiting outside the stall for Jayce.

“Yeah well I thought the academy uniform was restricting, but this takes the cake,” rustling fabric and frustrated grunts sounded through the curtain barrier.

“Restricting you from what exactly?” Viktor questioned in an amused tone.

“You know, this and that- ugh, I just want to be comfortable,” he finally surfaced, coming out with a grumpy expression on his tanned face. “How did you get yours on so fast?”

“Ah see, you look great,” Viktor encouraged, stepping aside to give Jayce a view in the full length mirror. And he had to admit, they did look pretty good- they made a good team.

Jayce studied himself- surprised by the way his crisp black suit accented the strong angles of his form- bringing out the darkness in his features and the deepness of his eyes.

He was in even more awe at the sight of Viktor. Perfectly tailored lines of midnight blue fabric contrasted his creamy skin, bringing out the golden hue of his amber eyes. He looked positively lethal- tall and lithe posture commanding the kind of strength forged in the fires of pain and strife.

They didn’t look like two lost boys who’d risked everything on a gamble, they looked ready to change the world without asking permission, they looked powerful.

“We look great,” he put an arm around Viktor’s shoulder, trying to pour all the love and appreciation and respect he had for his partner into a single look.

“I want to tell you,” Viktor cleared his throat. “I need you to know- because I do not say it as much as I should, that I am proud of us- and very proud of you,” he finished thickly, arm reaching up to gently cup the back of Jayce’s neck.

Jayce pulled Viktor close, hugging him tightly and most definitely not wiping wetness from his eyes.

“Before we return home, would you mind helping me pick something up?” he asked Jayce, an eager gleam in his eyes.

*******

“When are you gonna talk to her?” Jayce questioned enthusiastically, sitting across from Viktor on the apartment’s worn recliner.

“Tomorrow, after the gala,” Viktor looked towards the bed longingly. “I’m going to ask her.”

“Ugh- finally, do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?” Jayce groaned in relief.

“I think you are being a bit over dramatic, no?” Viktor quirked a sharp brow.

“Absolutely not- not after the day she wore that pink dress, and I had to watch a puddle of drool slowly gather below your open mouth,” he laughed at the audible snap of Viktor's jaw, a sure signal that he’d won the argument.

“Can I borrow those diagrams, the ones for the stabilization beacon- I wanted to go over them again to try and nail down those frequency cycles,” Jayce asked.

“Of course, they should be right next to you- in my bag,” Viktor said without thinking, gesturing to the other side of the chair. It wasn’t until Jayce began opening the bag that Viktor realized his mistake.

Opening his mouth to stop him, it didn’t take long for Viktor to find out he’d been too late.

Jayce let out a sound of surprise before sending Viktor a grin that was positively dripping with glee, his brows climbing higher as he sifted through the stack of books.

“Doing a little light reading are we?” Jayce asked, a sneaky smirk resting high on his cheeks.

“Ah- I err- well you see,” Viktor found himself quite flustered by the unexpected turn in conversation. This was not a topic of discussion the two of them had ever engaged in, and he was unsure of how to respond.

“You know- you don’t need all that,” Jayce said gently, snapping the bag shut and returning it to the floor.

“I wish to be prepared, it is important that she know- how much I care for her,” Viktor admitted, feeling vulnerability prick at his skin.

Jayce had never really been sure about his friends romantic experiences. Viktor was a complex man, the more he opened up the more Jayce realized- he really had no idea what Viktor had been through. It wasn’t surprising to hear Viktor was a virgin- but it would be equally unsurprising for Jayce to find out he’d slept his way through half the high council. He was a man capable of great extremes.

Knowing this was an important milestone in their friendship, Jayce put aside the dozen or so jokes waiting on the tip of his tongue.

“You already have the important stuff, the love and the trust- now you just gotta,” he gesticulated in a confusing manner.

“Y’know, learn together- what you like or what feels good,” Jayce trailed off shyly, feeling slightly embarrassed under Viktor's intense gaze.

“Has anyone ever told you that you are surprisingly wise?” Viktor couldn’t fight the upward tug of his lips.

“You know- I actually have heard that before,” Jayce laughed, leaning forward in the chair. “Now- if you really wanted to learn something, I could give you a few tips?” he offered, a bit of cockiness invading his tone.

“I’m listening,” Viktor responded, scooting closer in rapt attention.

*******

[gucciwins]

Are you Angel?

Harry gets hurt while on the job and Y/N gets a phone call she was not prepared for.

Word count: 7413

A/N: hello friends, it's been a while :) this is a continuation to my story Trouble Follows. You don't have to read but it will give you an insight of how Y/N and Harry met. I am thrilled to share more of firefighter harry with you. I adore him and I hope you do as well.

please do let me know what you thought of the story and please reblog! <333

Warnings: angst, breakups, hospitals

A firefighter will always run into a burning building with not a hint of hesitation. All their focus is on saving the people stuck inside.

Running towards trouble is second nature to them.

She knew that.

She also knew what it meant to date a firefighter.

The unreliable hours, the non-frequent communication, the many failed dinner dates. The twenty-four hours shifts when he would then arrive home to just sleep.

Harry had begun to give her a constant comfort that he would eventually come home and climb into bed behind her. He would then gently nuzzle his face in her neck, taking in her sweet honey scent. In contrast, she took in the woody ashy smell that seems to be permanently stained on him.

So trust her when she said she knew what she was in for when Harry asked her to be his girlfriend.

Four months in, she knew she would be here for a long time, maybe forever, if life would allow it.

She was sure; she knew what to expect.

But she didn't, not until she got the call.

The call that would shatter her heart.

The call that would lead her to be sitting in this uncomfortable, ugly brown hospital chair, holding tightly onto his ashy hand. As she prayed on and on to a God, she no longer held close but wished for Harry they were real and would bring Harry back to her.

Y/N prayed for Harry to finally open his eyes and give her a reassuring smile that he would be okay.

That they would be okay.

Until then, she'll wait.

Harry being Lieutenant allowed him to have a consistent schedule. That did not mean there weren't days where he had to pull a double shift or stay back to finish paperwork; he let it pile up.

The one day that was Y/N's was Sunday.

She got him an entire day to lay in bed together and eat all the baked goods she baked for him to try. It was becoming their day. Everyone at the station knew Harry could not be disturbed on Sundays unless it was the end of the world, and even then, they'd have to pry him away from Y/N.

He feels safe in her arms. Harry had never felt that before. Sure, he was surrounded by his firehouse family, but he had never felt so loved in two arms as if she could take all his problems and stresses away. Still, she did exactly that when she would flash him her gorgeous smile and hold her arms open for him to fall into at the end of every day.

Harry knows he's never felt this way, and he won't ever take it for granted.

This Sunday will be different, and she feels it as soon as she wakes up because, in her queen-sized bed, she's alone. No arms wrapped around her waist; no head tucked into her necks as he places soft open kisses to wake her from her sleep gently.

Already, she knows this is going to be a bad day. She feels it in her bones. Having been around trouble for so long, she knows the difference between good and bad. The feelings she has made her want to find Harry and pull him back into bed where she can keep him safe.

Y/N gets out of bed, throwing the warm sheets off her body going to the bathroom to do her morning skin routine, wanting to feel refreshed for when Harry breaks the news; he's going to leave her alone on their day. She knows him well enough; he's cooking her breakfast to make up for leaving her so early in the morning.

She walks out of her bathroom, going straight to her closet and taking out the first sweater she saw. It's a baby blue color and stitched on the left side on top of her heart is: "love me please?" It's Harry's favorite sweater of hers because it's an oversized sweater that fits him well. The only reason she has it back is that he wanted her to wash it and wear it until it got her smell again. Y/N kissed him silly when he told her that, plus she loves that it smells like him now.

Y/N takes one look at her unmade bed and walks away, knowing she's going to crawl back in after Harry leaves her. She walks out and, from the hallway, can hear Harry humming away. If she's honest, she doesn't recognize the song. As she has come to learn, Harry has an interesting taste in music; he has basically heard every song ever to exist. It's a reason they are so good at Four Clovers Thursday Trivia night. She dominates pop culture and films, and Harry takes on music. She's also better at history than him. Their friends love trivia night because their winning always gets them free drinks. It's something she looks forward to each week.

"Morning, H," Y/N says as she approaches him from behind and wraps her arms around his waist. Harry smiles, instantly feeling warm with her arms around him.

"Morning, firebug. Sleep well?"

She mumbles a no, causing Harry to laugh, and she feels it vibrate through her.

"Awe, upset I wasn't wrapped around you." He teases. "I'm making up to you by making breakfast."

She pulls away, spotting blackberries on the counter. "Sure, Jan."

Harry can hear the change in her tone and knows she's still goofing off with him but knows she's upset.

"Angel, come sit. Coffee is ready."

She shakes her head but makes her way over to the chair he pulled out for her. "No coffee. I'll be going back to bed soon." Y/N waits to see if he'll correct her, but he doesn't.

"I'm sorry." He begins.

"No apologies."

"Please let me. I'm leaving you on our day." He pouts.

"As much as I don't want you to go, I'm sure they need you more than I do."

Harry frowns, "I hope you'll never stop needing me." He whispers against her lips before closing the gap. Y/N hums against his soft lips allowing herself to get lost in the moment; she loves his kisses, soft and gentle just as he is despite what his sharp eyes might have one believe.

Harry pulls away after pressing one final kiss on her pouted lips. "I'm sorry I have to go to work, but I know for certain that I can meet you for a late lunch."

"Lunch?" She repeats, arms wrapped around his waist, hoping he was serious with his offer.

He hums. "Yes, 2:30, that bistro with that avocado dressing you like for your sandwich."

"It's a date." She grins, laying her head on his chest letting him hold her tight. He unwraps his arms, letting her go.

"I've got to get going, firebug, but I'll see you later."

"Stay safe, Styles." She tells him as she does every time he leaves.

"Try my best, angel."

With that, he slips his beat-up white Vans with lilac laces and walks out the door; it shuts it behind him. Just as Y/N steps towards it to lock up, it opens back up, startling her. Harry steps back in, and before she can question him, he places both faces on the side of her face and kisses her breathless. Y/N is quick to react, allowing their lips to move in perfect harmony, not as smooth but perfect, nonetheless.

"I--" Harry begins before he clears his throat. "I'll miss you, angel."

Y/N feels the heat rush to her cheeks because, for a moment, she thought he'd say another three words. "And I'll miss you, H. Now get out of here; I don't need you showing up late to our lunch date."

Harry smiles, dimples on full display, hugging her before walking out a skip in his step. She peaks her head out, making sure he gets in the car safely before he drives off. He sits there for a moment, and she knows he is letting his Bluetooth connect as he waits for his drive-to-work playlist titled "it's time" to start playing. He takes a look at his mirrors before backing out and driving. That's when Y/N closes and locks the door.

Time to go back to bed for a few more hours; what else is there to do on a Sunday when she's left alone.

Harry genuinely did not want to go to work today, but it's not like he could say no to his Chief. His Chief was never one to call in favor unless it was an emergency. He didn't ask, knowing he'd get the full story Monday, but for now, he gets on his pants, t-shirt, and boots and hopes there are no fires today.

The only thing is that Harry isn't used to working with the B-shift, sure he knows everyone's name and a little of their lives, but they aren't his usual team. He shakes that off because he knows he would do anything to help a team member and knows they would do the same in return.

Harry is lost in thought, wondering what Y/N was going to do today. He knows she planned to take him to a butterfly pavilion today even told him the outfit she had planned out for it. A pair of jeans that had flowers embroidered all over something she added, saying she thought they looked a bit plain, pairing it with a pastel pink top. Harry was surprised with her style after meeting her various times in different outfits. He was surprised at how soft she dressed in pastels. She may have a bold personality, but her fashion was delicate and warm. It was a nice balance.

He nearly runs into Carols as he made his way to his office, too busy thinking of the girl he left at home. "Sorry, bud."

"No problem, Harry. Surprised to see you here," Carols tells him, everyone knowing Sunday was Harry's day off.

"Chief had something come up and asked me to come in. I should be out of here by eight tonight if we're lucky."

Carlos smiles, "with you around, we usually are."

Harry chuckles, telling him he'll be in his office if he needs anything. He looks around his desk and sighs at how much has piled up already.

Might as well get ahead.

It's a few hours when Harry realizes the house is quiet. He peaks around the window and figures they are all in the common room. It's only one, and thankfully there have been no calls, and if it continues, then he will make it to lunch with his angel.

He shoots her a text.

Angel

13:24 PM

I miss you. Counting down the minutes until I get to see you xxx

Harry clicks send and smiles down at his phone. 2:30 couldn't come fast enough.

As he gets up to stretch and go for a snack in the kitchen, he takes a deep breath because as confident as he may seem, he isn't around the second shift. They don't know him so well, and Harry ultimately is shy. He may be able to hide it, but he has small quicks that others pick up on. Something he knows Y/N spotted quickly, like when he toes his foot into the ground or when he begins to chip at his nails, and Y/N's favorite is when he moves his hands behind his back and sways side to side. She finds it endearing, but others might not think it's leadership material.

He walks into the lounge to cross to the kitchen when a few heads turn to him, but before they can say a word, the alarm rings, and Harry is literally saved by the bell.

Not a second to waste, everyone heads over to the rig and quickly suits up. Harry is Lieutenant meaning he's in charge of the scene today, seeing as their captain and Chief aren't here today. Harry respects all the firefighters and knows this will go well if everyone carries out their job.

It's a factory fire, and as soon as they arrive, Harry can see it's burning fast. He's not sure how many people are there, but he calls in for reinforcements knowing they will need all the manpower they can get.

"This is House 102; please send more units available. The factory fire is burning at a faster rate than we can control. My team is going in now. There are five people unaccounted for; the left side of the building is clear." Harry speaks into his two-way radio.

"Carlos," the young firefighter jogs over, eyes on Harry, no longer staring at the roaring fire. "You're going in with Baz. Stay close and don't go up the second floor; you need to be quick in and out."

"Who's going with you, Lieutenant?" Carlos asks, clearly worried.

"Jameson and Rey are coming with me; stay safe, and if anything happens, just radio in."

"You got it!" Harry pats his shoulder and walks off towards the two waiting men.

Harry knows the men well, he trained them when they came into the house, but they preferred B-shift instead of being with him. One spot was available, and he knew they didn't want to be separated. Rey and Jameson have been dating for two years, but that's a secret only very few know. It's not prohibited, but if it gets more serious, one will have to relocate to a new station. They simply aren't ready for that, and indeed Harry would be sad not to have them around the house or hearing their stories. It just adds a more considerable risk because, at the end of the day, the job is first.

Rey walks towards the entrance with Harry following right behind. Jameson, a few feet back, calling out for anyone in there that needs help.

"Fire department, call out." Echoes out as much as it can as the fire begins to roar louder.

The heat gets worse the further they walk in; they turn right at the edge of a desk labeled "Torres."

"H, there!" Rey shouts, rushing over to a man knocked unconscious and had heavy storage struck over his legs, pinning him down. Harry and Jameson run over, assessing the man before making any sudden moves.

Jameson finds a pulse, weak but there. He gets the extra mask over the man's face hoping it'll wake him up soon.

"On the count of three, we lift," Harry tells the two men standing to a stand as the others do the same.

They nod. "One, two, three." They grunt in unison, pushing the container to a standing position. Harry looks over the man's legs and is thankful there is no blood, but there will be swelling and bruises. "Right, Rey, take him out. We'll keep searching."

Rey nods, lifting the man over his shoulder as he was trained to do, and rushes out of the burning building. Harry and Jameson have just learned a new area when the radio comes on. "Lieutenant Styles, it's Carlos. We found two men; only one remains unaccounted for."

Harry nods. "Got it, no one comes back in. We'll be out soon."

He now leads the way, making his way towards a stairway. There's no fire here, but it's moving faster, and smoke is thick. Whoever is in here might not last much longer without oxygen.

"Fire department, call out," Harry shouts, voice firm.

"Here.." a whisper is heard, both Harry and Jameson freeze. Once more, "here" is yelled but sounds muffled.

Harry looks around, not seeing anything but fire, and fears the structure will collapse soon. Just as he was about to yell again, he sees a can knocked, and a man hidden under a black rag is seen. Jameson rushes over, helping the man sit up. He's older, well into his sixties. He doesn't look too well; he has a few scapes.

"Right, we need to head out," Jameson tells Harry, helping the man stand up who is fighting consciousness.

"This is Lieutenant Styles; on our way out found the last man. Have paramedics on standby."

"Got it, Styles. Get out quick."

Jameson and Harry get the man up and head to exit. Harry can see the light of day and knows he will be late for lunch, but thankful Y/N is understanding and very forgiving. He'll make it up to her by buying dessert.

Just as they almost reach the door, a piece of dry wood comes falling down, separating Harry and Jameson; luckily, it did not hit them, but now Harry has to find a new way out. It's not looking good.

"Harry," Jameson looks panicked, but Harry stays calm.

"Get him out, now," Harry tells him, looking in every direction for what to do.

"No, I won't-" Harry cuts him off.

"Jameson, get this man out. He needs medical attention. That's an order." Voice full of authority with no room to argue.

Jameson nods and heads out. "I'm coming back for you."

Harry chuckles. He sees a small path, but it'd be a more extended way out. He debates what to do. He could wait, but the longer he stays, the quicker this building is beginning to collapse.

It takes him two seconds to decide to go right and find a new route out instead of staying put. He walks and only gets hotter as the fire begins to surround him. He's good at not panicking, always thinks better under pressure, but this is getting intense. Harry climbs over a crate and bends low to go through this tight space. He sees the exit, it's still a bit away, but he knows he is in the clear.

That's when he hears a big explosion knocking him forward. His oxygen masks flys off, landing a few feet away. As Harry reaches his hand out to get it, he's pulled back. He looks behind and sees he's stuck. There are crates stacked on top of him. The air is thick of smoke, and with no oxygen, it seems like the fire will soon enough engulf him.

Shit.

He's really in trouble now.

Harry presses his radio, holding it, hoping it's still working. "This is Harry," He coughs. "I'm trapped under a few crates. I can't reach my ask. I'm west of the building."

"Harry, hold on. We're going in." Harry hears Jameson reply, but he's fading quickly.

He shakes his head. "Can't go to sleep, but this smoke is too thick to actually see anything, let alone for his team to find him.

"Tell…" He coughs again, and this time doesn't stop for what feels like five minutes but is only a few seconds. "Tell angel, I'm sorry."

A voice comes over the speaker, but Harry's eyelids are fluttering shut, the weight of the crates is too much, and the smoke only gets deeper in his lungs if he keeps speaking.

Harry welcomes the darkness as he sees the one person he was supposed to meet for lunch. She's holding an outstretched hand for him to take and who is he to ever say no to her.

Real or not, he goes to her, and soon enough, he falls unconscious, not feeling when his team lifts him out and puts him in the back of an ambulance.

Y/N decided to show up a bit earlier for their lunch date, putting in their order early, wanting to maximize all their time together. She wouldn't see him until late that night, and honestly, she wasn't a fan of being separated on her favorite day of the week.

She sits on a bench right outside, both sandwiches wrapped tucked away in a brown paper bag and a lemonade sitting next to her untouched. It was his favorite, too sweet in her opinion. Still, Harry loved it, especially since he wasn't one to indulge in sweets unless they were hers.

Knowing Harry could be running late, she pulls out a book from her orange tote bag that Harry gifted to her. The book was Beach Read, Frankie recommended it to her then gave her the book saying she needed to read more romance books and not just poetry and nonfiction books. She actually enjoyed it, which surprised her, but even if she didn't, she's too invested to not find out the ending.

She was just starting chapter five when she feels too much time has passed and glances down at her phone.

2:55

25 minutes late isn't bad or unusual even; she decides to put the book away and keep an eye out for him. Usually, when he keeps her waiting, he makes up for it with a long kiss that never fails to take her breath away; she's excited about it now.

Time seems to go slower when she just sits waiting. She debates beginning to eat her sandwich when her stomach starts to growl. It's low, but she would feel bad if she began to eat, and that's when he shows up. She settles for waiting and instead takes a drink of the sweet lemonade.

As Y/N sits waiting for Harry, her phone begins to ring and displays an unknown number but the city's area code. Every bone in her body tells her to prepare for the worst but hopes she's paranoid.

She takes a deep breath before answering and bringing the phone up to her ear.

"Hello, are you angel?" A deep voice man asks.

"It's Y/N. Actually, can I ask who's calling?" She's holding her breath; only one person calls her angel.

"I'm calling on behalf of Lieutenant Harry Styles. Harry has been in an accident and was taken to the hospital. He asked us to call an angel on his way to the hospital. We assumed you were one of his emergency contacts."

Y/N feels her hands begin to shake. "What hospital?"

The man on the phone rattles the information, and she lets it all sink in. He hangs up, and she sits there waiting on the bench for her date that will not be showing up.

Her phone rings again, she answers without looking at the caller.

"Y/N," she recognized the voice; it's Mitch, and if he's calling, then it must be true.

"Mitch," she whispers, not recognizing her own voice. It's shaky, tears beginning to well up.

"Where are you?"

"At the bistro a street down from the station." She replies, hoping he's coming for her.

"I'm close; we'll pick you up and go see him, darling." She nods but remembers he can't see her.

Y/N isn't sure why she's not crying. She feels the tears, but it's like they are stuck; her heart hurts, and she knows that says enough. "We were supposed to meet for lunch. I got worried when he didn't show up, but I didn't think--" he interrupts her.

"Harry is going to be fine, trust me. He's okay, and he needs us there."

Y/N doesn't reply because she sees him pulling in. Mitch is in the passenger seat, Sarah is driving. She doesn't say a word as she swings open the door and settles in the back.

She sets her hands in her lap; she can feel herself trembling. She can feel herself breaking because she won't know if he's okay until she sees him. Mitch can say he's fine, but she needs to see for herself.

Sarah and Mitch share a concerned look; Y/N doesn't notice her eyes looking out the window.

"Y/N?" Mitch begins, voice full of concern. "Do you- are you okay to go see him?"

"Of course." She replies quickly. "He needs me; well, I hope he does."

"Course he needs you. Needs his angel by his side." Sarah tells her calmly, wanting to see her smile, but it doesn't work because only Harry should be calling her that. She shouldn't be on her way to see him in a hospital bed. She should have seen him next to her on that bench as he ate his sandwich and gave her kiss and kiss as she told him stories.

They are silent the rest of the way. Sarah pulls into an empty parking space, and she rushes after Mitch, who seems to know exactly where Harry is as he rushes past the front desk. The only thing that slows them down is waiting for the elevator; she gladly would have taken the stairs if Mitch didn't tell her that he's on the sixth floor. Instead, she waits impatiently for the old elevator that will take her to see her love.

He is going to be okay. He has to be okay. Y/N keeps those thoughts running through her head as Mitch and Sarah guide her to room 613.

Mitch walks in first, holding the door open, Sarah places a comforting hand on her back, and Y/N feels supported and loved, but nothing prepares her for what she is about to walk into.

The constant beep of Harry's heart monitor is the only thing that can be heard in his private room. The beep is steady; it makes her let out a deep breath. The monitor already calming her down, she approaches slowly as if he'd wake if she'd walk any faster.

She sits in the uncomfortable chair next to his bed and pulls it as close as she can.

Y/N just stares at him, taking it all in. He looks like he's resting peacefully like he should originally have been when they started this day together. His curls are disheveled, his face dirty with smoke stains and a few gauzes wrapped around his arms. She can't see much else but knows he's got a road of recovery still ahead of him.

"Hi, Harry," she whispers, her hand slowly reaching under the white sheet to grab hold of his right hand. "I'm right here, okay. Take your time waking up; there's no rush. Just know that I'm not going anywhere."

She pauses, hoping for a reply even though she knows she won't get one. "We can also discuss how I'm sort of one of your emergency contacts."

Y/N presses her lips to his hand. "Need you to wake up, want to see those Rapunzal eyes." She sits back, not removing her hand from his. Sarah has not taken her eyes off of her, Sarah might feel like she might blow up soon, but being at his side, she has begun to feel better.

"Harry, we're here for you. The whole team is outside in the lobby, probably why they sent us to the floor with the biggest waiting area. Even young Carlos is out there, saying you gave them a scare but really hopes you never pick up another B-shift again." Mitch sniffles before stepping out of the room. Sarah walks over to where he was standing.

"Hey Harold, it's trivia night in a few days, and kind of counting on you to get us those free drinks." Sarah chuckles. "It's been a while since we've been in the hospital. I think it was when I made you all donate blood for that ambulance competition. Fun times, now you rest and get better. The good thing is you have the best nurse looking out for you." Sarah glances at Y/N, sending her a small smile.

Y/N sits back in her chair as Sarah sits in one by the window. She knows she's in for a long afternoon and an even longer night.

Harry's head is throbbing.

He's not sure why. The last he remembers is leaving Y/N's house to go for his shift at the station.

They were meeting for lunch; he's sure she wouldn't let him drink any alcohol on the job.

Harry slowly opens his eyes and is blinded by the bright light. He sees a photo of the sunset right in front of him, and a tv hung up; if he's not mistaken, he's in a hospital room, primarily due to being in an uncomfortable bed. The oxygen mask over his face is also a dead giveaway he was in an accident.

He looks around, and he sees he is not alone. His angel is sleeping, a tight grip on his right hand; she looks exhausted. Mitch walks in just as Harry was about to wake her. Y/N mumbles and sits up, pulling her hand away from his to rub the sleep away. Harry wants to tell her to stop knowing how much it actually irritates her eyes, especially when she tubs a little harsher than usual.

"Were you able to find tea, Mitch?" Y/N asks, looking over at him.

"Sarah's bringing it over." Mitch's gaze never turns to her staying on Harry; this confuses Y/N and turns back around in her seat to look at a resting Harry but instead finds his eyes on her.

"Harry!" Y/N scoots forward, grasps his hand in hers. "You're awake. Mitch, the nurse, please."

Harry raises his free hand to take off the mask. He wants to speak, but this won't allow him. "No, love. Got to keep it on."

Harry's eyes close, then flutter open. He stares at Y/N, his eyes kind but defiant. He takes the mask off, coughing a bit; it makes Y/N feel nauseous, knowing he's not doing so well.

"I think you need to keep it on, Harry." She says, "the nurse needs to see it when she comes in soon."

"Hey, angel," he says in a raspy voice. It sounds like he's in pain when he talks.

"Yes?" She asks.

"I'm sorry for scaring you."

Y/N shrugs, "no big deal. I wasn't even scared."

Harry smiles, showering her his dimples since she last saw him this morning. He begins to laugh but stops when it causes him to cough. Y/N lets him settle down before bending down to gently kiss him.

"Now, let that hold you over, and put the mask pack on."

Harry nods. "Anything for you, my angel."

It's a half-hour before the doctor comes in, and by that time, Harry had fallen back asleep, only just waking up a few minutes before the man walked through the door. Mitch alerted everyone outside he was awake and doing good.

Dr. Vazquez walked white coat open, displaying a purple button-up and a bright yellow tie. It puts a smile on Y/N's face.

"Hello, Mr. Styles. Glad you're awake."

"Me too, Doc. Nice tie."

Dr. Vaquez smiles, looking down at himself, "Thank you, my wife picks out my tie every morning before she heads off to work."

"Lucky man," Harry tells him.

"That I am." Dr. Vazquez replies. "You've got a mild concussion, nothing serious, but you are allowed to sleep while you're here. We've got a good team looking out for you. You've got a few burns, but those will heal nicely if properly cared for. A few deep bruises on your leg and one on your rib cage, no blood clots. It will hurt to walk for a few days."

"Nothing too bad, then," Harry sighs, relaxing in bed.

"I've looked at your charts, and it looks like you will be making a full recovery and should be back on the job in three or four weeks. In the meantime, you will need to stay overnight and keep taking in oxygen. I see the nurse changed your mask. Please don't remove this one." Harry nods. "Any questions?"

Harry shakes his head no, "Not at the moment."

"Alright, I'll be off then. I'll come to see you tomorrow midday, and we'll talk about going home. I hear you have a waiting room full of people dying to see; just be aware that visiting hours end at nine, but if you're kind to Nurse Lucy, she'll be lenient to ten."

"Thank you, Dr. Vazquez." Mitch and Y/N say in unison as the man exits the room.

"That's the quietest I've ever seen you, firebug." Harry teases.

"You hush." She lightly pats his arm.

Mitch laughs, "going to go tell them you're allowed, visitors."

Y/N and Harry sit in silence. He can tell she has something on her mind, a slight frown on her face. He wonders if it's about him if she won't be able to handle dating someone who can be hurt by the job. Harry honestly does not want to lose her.

"I'm going to step out," Y/N tells him, looking down at their joined hands, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Y/N," Harry sighs.

"You've got lots of people waiting to see you and roughly have an hour to see them all. I'll be close by." She leans down, presses a kiss to his cheek, and walks out before he can reach out to stop her.

She steps out while a few members of his team come in to see him offering her a smile as she passes them. As much as she didn't want to leave him, she needed a moment away, and he needed a moment with his family.

God, Y/N has never felt so scared, and now a minute alone, everything is beginning to set in. She has no idea where the restroom is, and the next thing she knows, she's running into someone, but it seems they recognize her because they say her name, and the next thing she knows, she's crying, sinking to the floor. She feels arms wrap around her.

Shushes in her ear, brushing the ends of her hair. It's calming, but she needs to let all the tears she's been holding in.

"Y/N," she can now recognize the voice as Sarah's, "I'm going to help you stand and sit you in the chair.

Y/N feels herself nod.

She begins taking deep breaths, never letting Sarah pull her hand away. It is the only thing keeping her grounded.

"I got her some water." Y/N hears Frankie whisper handing it to Sarah before taking the seat to the left of her.

"I'm okay," she repeats. "I'm okay."

"Y/N," Sarah begins.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, sweetie." Frankie brushes her hair back.

"I'm supposed to be strong; I have to be strong to do this to stand by his side," Y/N tells them, beginning to let her emotions out.

"No one is expecting you not to cry."

"Bu-" Sarah interrupts her.

"No. stop. Accidents happen, and so do injuries. It's okay to be scared and hurt."

"I want to be strong for him." She whispers.

"You are. You never left his side; you talked to him. You're crying now because you care."

She wipes her eyes with her sweater sleeves. "I love him, and I was so scared that when I got the call, I'd never get to tell Harry."

"Then you tell him as soon as you walk back into his room."

"Thank you."

"Nothing to thank, I care about you, and I know Harry would be grateful to know you're not alone. You've always got us. Now let's grab something to eat, and we'll come back in an hour once all of them go home."

She chuckles. "Alright."

"Text me where you're sitting. I'll pop in to see Harry, then meet you."

"You don't have to," Y/N tells Frankie because she knows she is just as concerned about her friend.

"Are you kidding me? You're my friend first, always."

Sarah and Y/N walk down to the cafeteria. She knows she isn't okay but is feeling better, finally letting emotion out. It was only a matter of time before she let the dam break; she's just happy it was not in front of Harry.

The girls sit in the cafeteria munching on snacks for well over an hour. Mitch sends them a message letting them know all the crew has left and it's time to say goodbye for the night. Frankie wishes her goodnight downstairs with promises to come to see her tomorrow and bring her a change of clothes.

"Let's walk you back," Sarah tells her, linking their arms together.

"Do you think he'll know?" Sarah takes a good look at her and grimaces. "I'll just say I tripped, and it made me cry." Y/N jokes.

"I don't think he'll believe that."

"Yeah, me either." The girls walk out of the elevator as their laughter dies down.

They settle in silence as they make their way to his room, Sarah holding her hand leading the way. Mitch is in the chair she was in for so many hours before waiting for him to wake up. Mitch hears their footsteps and turns his head, but Harry is frowning, looking out the window at the dark sky.

Y/N doesn't know what to say, but one look at him has her heart filling up with relief; he's okay.

He's fine, and he gets to go home soon, and she gets to love him all she wants.

Harry turns his head as she steps forward. "Angel," he breathes out.

It makes her eyes well up with tears again. "I love you," she just lets it out, as if she's told Harry this every day as if she never went a moment not saying it.

"Oh my angel," Harry begins to cry, feeling overwhelmed and incredibly happy. His angel loves him, and although this isn't a perfect day, the moment is.

Mitch and Sarah sneak out quietly, shutting the door behind them to give them their privacy.

"I love you so much. Please come here." Harry replies, voice shaky.

In the next second, she's moving forward, pulling the chair as close as she can as he grabs her hands, squeezing them tightly. She leans down and presses her lips to his chapped pink lips. They move gently, pouring all their love and fears into the kiss. Telling each other that the worst is over and they are together, and they are fine. Y/N pulls back, knowing she can't kiss him as long as she'd like due to his sensitive lungs.

"Harry, I love you, and I was so scared I'd never get to say it."

"I'm sorry, angel; I never wanted you to get a call like this, at least not before talking about it."

"Me either," She sniffles, no longer able to control her tears, "but it happened, and I'm just happy you're okay."

"I'm okay," he repeats. She smiles, taking one of her hands out of his hold to wipe his tears away; Harry can't help but lean his head into her gentle touch. "I'm okay because my angel is always looking after me.

"Harry."

"It's true. I've never been luckier and safer since you came into my life." She smiles. "But there's something we have to talk about." He continues, and by the tone of his voice, it's going to be serious.

"Are you okay?"

"What? I'm fine. You're the one in a hospital bed." Her tone is defensive.

"There's something wrong. I can see it."

Y/n sighs, taking a deep breath. She takes her hand out of his hold.

Harry is quick to mask his hurt.

"I don't like that you're hurt. I hate that we aren't at home in the kitchen dancing around to your Sunday playlist as I bake you a new treat." She says in a rush.

"Hey, love, relax," he says and gestures for her to move in closer. She does so, allowing him to take hold of her hands with a firm grip this time.

"You're upset because I got hurt?" She nods in reply to his question. It's stupid because, of course, he's going to get hurt; it'd be naive to think he wouldn't in his job.

"It's part of the job." He says simply. It's something he wants her to accept and remember. She thinks back to a month into dating when he told her about his ex-girlfriend and how she couldn't handle the unknown of the job each day he left her. Y/N thought she'd be fine, but she loves him, and losing him would be something she could never recover from.

"I know. It's just not easy to see." Her voice was quiet and defeated.

"What do we do?" Harry asks, and Y/N freezes; she can feel her heart beating in her ears.

What do we do?

"What do you mean?" She can feel her hands begin to shake.

"This can happen again." He gestures to him in the hospital bed.

"I know." She says softly.

"Is this something you can handle or not?" He asks very direct. She knows this might not be the first time he's had the conversation, but she just told him she loved him, and he's questioning her. She's allowed to feel this way, but it doesn't mean she can't handle it.

"Y/N," he begins, "I'm incredibly happy with you. I see you and me together for a long time. You're it for me, but this job is my life."

"I know," she repeats. "I would never ask you to give up your job."

Harry stares at her; heartbreak passes through his eyes. "Are you asking me to give you up?

She shakes her and begs for the tears not to fall, but it's no use. She feels them falling and can't wipe them as Harry has a hold of her hands.

"Harry, I love you." He frowns as if fearing the worst. "I love you, and I'd rather love you every moment I have you than let you go now and never know what could have been."

"Oh, thank god." Harry lets out a deep breath. She giggles. "I'm sorry we couldn't have this conversation earlier; honestly, I feared if I brought it up, you could possibly break up with me, and I selfishly wanted to have you longer."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere, not if it's up to me. Seeing you laid up is hard but knowing I get to be there for you makes up for it. Also helps that I'm a nurse."

"That it does."

Y/n grins at Harry, leaning in to kiss him, short and sweet for now. Each kiss never fails to make her heart race, and due to Harry's heart monitor, she knows it does the same to him. They sit in silence, staring at each other as Harry traces small shapes against Y/N's cheeks, loving the feeling of her in his hand. Especially when she lets out a soft giggle when he hits a sensitive spot.

"Move in with me," Y/N blurts out after a while of silence.

It shocks Harry. "What?"

"Until you're better. That way, I can be your in-home nurse."

"Only until I'm better?" She nods. "So, you'll give me the boot after." Harry teases.

Y/N can feel her cheeks warming up but pushes through, "Only if you're a bad patient."

Harry smiles, dimples on full display for her, always for her. "Okay, I can be good and naughty only when you ask."

"Harry!" She gasps.

He throws his head back, laughing.

"God, I'm so lucky to love you." His words warm her heart, and she promises to tell him every day from now on.

"Now get up here and cuddle me. I got Mitch to cue up Netflix."

"Are you sure?" She stands slipping her shoes off, knowing he won't be taking no for an answer.

"Going to deprive an injured man of what he wants most?"

"Guess not."

"Good."

Y/N crawls on and lays on his side, carefully resting her head on his chest. Harry presses kiss after kiss for his comfort, knowing he will be okay and has his favorite person by his side. She chooses Legally Blonde knowing it's Harry's comfort movie as much as he tries to deny it.

For an unusual start to their Sunday, it ends right; together in bed, a hospital bed but nonetheless a bed, together arms wrapped tight around each other.

Y/N might not have liked that Harry got hurt, but he's okay, and he will recover.

That's all she could ever ask for.

thank you so much for reading!

please send me a message of what you thought or if you'd like to see more firefighter harry

I adore you. take care xx